Brave pirates throw themselves fiercely over enemy ships, solely armed with
a knife held with their teeth. Demons castigate their prisoners' buttocks with huge
devilish forks. And spoons? Where the hell are the spoons?
Tired of the arrogance shown by the fork and the knife, I would like, hereby, to
settle once and for all the superiority of the spoon over its counterparts.
A fork is good to fix a piece of food but it can't cut nor hold a liquid.
A knife can cut, but certainly it can't hold a liquid. Its pointy end can't hold fix a piece of food.
The spoon, if pressed hard enough, can cut, and it can lift a piece of food. The
latter, of course, in addition to its innate ability to hold liquids.
The chart would then look as follows:
X = Fork
Y = Knife
Z = Spoon
Cutting.... [---Y-------------------Z--X--]
Holding.... [---Z---------------------X-Y-]
Spooning. [---Z---------------------X-Y-]
Ergo, the spoon wins in the overall ranking.
---
Now, for non eating matters, it is certain that everybody would laugh at a pirate
assaulting an enemy ship armed with a spoon. But they would stop laughing when
the pirate spoons his enemies' hearts out, isn't it? As for demons, certainly the
forks look menacing, but in the hellish punishment scale, I am convinced that for
getting "reward" for the sins of a lifetime, it aches more to get the eyes poked out
with a spoon rather than just having the spongy, soft buttocks pinched with a fork.
Case closed.
In Thailand knives are a rarity. Everything is spoon.
But, alas, when I get a good steak at a reastaurant I am handed a fork and a spoon.
Sorry! 😠... but in this scenario I am crying out for a KNIFE! A good steak needs a good knife, no matter how rare or tender. It's just not the same! :'(
Carrying my own in the afternoon,
Hiding a spoon she will be soon.
Waiting fork weeds alive,
Spends me her joke, she slips me alive.
Carrying my own in the afternoon,
Hiding a spoon she will be soon.
Waiting fork weeds alive,
Spends me her joke, she slips me alive.
Oh, sitting on my chair where nobody want to care,
Oh, sitting on my chair where nobody want to care.
Carrying my own in the afternoon,
Hiding a spoon she will be soon.
Waiting fork weeds alive,
Spends me her joke, she slips me alive.
Oh, sitting on my chair where nobody want to care
can - spoon
I have a feeling the lyrics just can't be right, but then again, the Can guys were huge acid freaks.
Originally posted by PalynkaThey'll have to look up 'spoon', 'knive' and 'fork' on the net though, becasue they'll only know the spork by then-
Spoonists make me sick with their supposed superiority.
Haven't they learned anything from history? One day, millions of knives and forks will be sent to the furnaces and future generations will wonder how such a thing was possible in the XXIst century.