Originally posted by StarrmanUhm, I'm only running this if I'm allowed to participate, so here are some rules to accomodate that:
I'm in, what are the rules?
P.S. Nice avatar 😉
RULES/PROCEDURE:
1. I was going to say something along the lines of 'Submit your bloody arhythmic free-verse shite to the prose competition, heathen!' but then I took my Haldol, got out of my sheep suit, and sensibly welcomed all forms of verse with open arms.
2. Send submissions to: mark DOT hagen AT ic DOT ac DOT uk. The subject line must read 'HOOOOOOOWL!', although you may use as many Os as you like.
3. I will post submissions anonymously
4. Submission deadline is midnight RHP time
(ie GMT+1, whatever this is called), 30 April 2005
5. Voting opens as soon as submissions finish.
6. Vote by listing your favourite 3 bits of verse, in order of preference, as in the prose competition.
7. RC may vote, but his votes don't count.
8. Voting lasts one calendar week.
Merci buckets 😉
EDIT A long time ago I posted Ogden Nash's "Very Like A Whale", bringing into the realm of RHP Verse. Therefore, the winner of this competition will be awarded second place 😛.
Originally posted by royalchickenNot a fan of free verse eh? This doesn't surprise me, free verse requires individuality and character. When you are part of a pack, it is hard to think outside the group 😛
1. I was going to say something along the lines of 'Submit your bloody arhythmic free-verse shite to the prose competition, heathen!' but then I took my Haldol, got out of my sheep suit, and sensibly welcomed all forms of verse with open arms.
You shall find my submission in your mail box in due time, although if I do win, I shall be poking my tongue out at Ogden Nash.
Originally posted by StarrmanFree verse violates my sense of aesthetics, both as a mathematician-in-training and as the realest mothafvckin' battle-rapper ever to grace FW 😛.
Not a fan of free verse eh? This doesn't surprise me, free verse requires individuality and character. When you are part of a pack, it is hard to think outside the group 😛
You shall find my submission in your mail box in due time, although if I do win, I shall be poking my tongue out at Ogden Nash.
Originally posted by royalchickenDid you notice I had risen in the beauty stakes by the way?
Free verse violates my sense of aesthetics, both as a mathematician-in-training and as the realest mothafvckin' battle-rapper ever to grace FW 😛.
You may have the power of maths
and be a battle-rapper extraordinaire,
but you won't get the ladies
without a hangover and yellow hair.
Originally posted by StarrmanSir, Angie's kind reappraisal
Did you notice I had risen in the beauty stakes by the way?
You may have the power of maths
and be a battle-rapper extraordinaire,
but you won't get the ladies
without a hangover and yellow hair.
comes from pity for a fellow
with a crooked thing that is nasal
and disheveled hair that is yellow.
She knows my ego doesn't need
the boost; my fine and exquisite
looks have enticed her to plead
that I pack my bags for a visit.
Originally posted by royalchickenAnd whence comes that fateful day,
Sir, Angie's kind reappraisal
comes from pity for a fellow
with a crooked thing that is nasal
and disheveled hair that is yellow.
She knows my ego doesn't need
the boost; my fine and exquisite
looks have enticed her to plead
that I pack my bags for a visit.
And the fair maiden doth espy
the straightness of thy olfactory organ;
She'll up and run away,
and her courtiers will reply,
that face to face
you are a disgrace
please do not give chase!
for thou seemest to look like Jimmy Olsen
Entry 1:
"Ye olde pirate song
Most days are like all of the others,
Go to work, come back home, watch TV,
But, brother, if I had me druthers,
I'd chuck it and head out to sea,
For I dream of the skull and the crossbones,
I dream of the great day to come,
When I dump the mundane for the Old Spanish Main
And trade my computer for rum! ARRR!
When we hoist Jolly Roger the landlubbers dodge 'er,
We fill 'em with loathing and fear,
We'll plunder and pillage each city and village,
Or at least clean out Wal-Mart of beer!
There ain't no computin' or morning commutin',
No "Parking Lot Full" signs for me,
No lawns ta be mowin' or bills to be owin',
I'm knowin' the pull of the sea.
To wear a red coat full o' buckles,
To earn a few duelling scars,
Well, at least we can get a few chuckles
By filling the office with ARRRs!
And maybe we'll never get closer,
Than watchin' 'em on the big screen,
So here's to old Errol and Depp as Jack Sparrow,
And every damn one in between!"
Entry 2:
"
Ode to Britney
I once met Justin Timberlake,
going back a couple of years
It was just after his break
with the lovely Britney Spears.
I didn't much like him, he even tried to hit me,
when I posed to him the question;
did he really Spear Britney?
Britney Spears your skin does shine
your lips do pout and lyrics rhyme,
my eyes towards your breasts incline;
so hit me, Britney, one more time."
What's this about another Prose Competition to compete with?
The lack of verse contributions from Kirk, Dr. S, Nemesio and the somewhat less-inspired battle-rappers is worrying.
EDIT See the P&P 'paradox' thread about evidence for roughly how much of same I've given you on who wrote the above poems.
