A man is taking a walk in
Central park in New York.
Suddenly he sees
a little girl being attacked
by a pit bull dog .
He runs over and
starts fighting with the dog.
He succeeds in killing the dog and
saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching
the scene walks over and says:
'You are a hero, tomorrow
you can read it in all the
newspapers:
'Brave New Yorker saves
the life of little girl '
The man says: -
'But I am not a New Yorker!'
'Oh ,then it will say in
newspapers in the morning:
'Brave American saves
life of little girl''
- the policeman answers.
'But I am not an American!' -
says the man.
'Oh, what are you then? '
The man says: -
'I am an Iranian ! '
The next day the newspapers says:
'Islamic extremist kills
innocent American dog '
Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust
(funny because you can stick in anything in its place and of course the Holocaust will still be worse. It's like, really random. Get it?)
There's a guy watching TV, and he hears a knock at the door. When he answers, there's no one to be seen! Just as he's about to close the door, he hears a small voice say "Excuse me sir, could I interest you in a set of encyclopedias?" He looks down and sees a snail on his doorstep. Angered at being dragged away from watching the Super Bowl on TV by a snail selling encyclopedias, he kicks the poor snail off his front steps and into the garden, before returning inside. Six months later, there's a knock at the door. When he answers, there's no one there again. He looks down and sees the snail, who asks "What did you do that for?"
A woman walks up to the check-out line at her local grocery store with a TV dinner, a single serving of yogurt and a one litre bottle of diet coke. The check-out guy looks at her and says, "Excuse me, miss, I don't mean to be presumptuous but... are you single?" The girl blushes and replies coyly, "Yeah, how could you tell?" The check-out guy replies, "Because you're really ugly."
