I was sitting in my Renault Megane 1.6 16v sports coupe (that’s a car, by the way) the other day, tearing up the motorway at 155km’s an hour when I turned AC/DC’s “Whole lotta Rosie” off. It was making too much noise.
Can you believe that?
So, I got to thinking, when, if there ever was an exact moment, did one of the greatest rock and roll songs ever written degenerate into noise? And believe me, it’s not the first time this has happened! I can’t listen to Iron Maiden anymore either, nor Metallica...but I never listened to them anyway, because they’re crap.
And I think it’s old age setting in. Seriously, I do.
I can remember playing football as a teenager. I could run up and down that field all bloody day chasing a ball, being tackled and sprinting ahead to score a goal. Nowadays, at nearly 34, I need 3 minutes meditation to climb a single flight of stairs and then, when I finally reach the top, I need an oxygen mask and heart massage. 33 years old and dying.
Maybe I’m the only person who’s ever done this next thing, I hope not, or I may sound a bit of an idiot, but when I was in my 20’s and I was at home sing along to music, sitting in the bus listening to my walkman on or driving around with the stereo blasting and shouting along to Arrow Classic Rock AM, I would fantasise that I was a famous rock start performing in front of thousands of people. Obviously all my songs were hits and everybody adored me. I had whole fantasies about the interviews I’d be giving whilst high on the best quality drugs and I’d be talking about what inspired my next, upcoming and ultimately very succesful single.
Nowadays I fantasise that I’m in a Karaoki club trying to impress a single girl.
It’s like reality just chaves away at the imagination, isn’t it?
When was the last time I had an erection when “only” kissing a girl? I wouldn’t have a clue. I remember the mere thought of kissing someone could keep me up all bloody night.
What’s going on?
In my 20’s I could boast that after orgasming I could keep on going another two bouts. Nowadays I’m praying to someone else’s God that the damned thing at least works, albeit for 2 bloody mintues.
Time never used to matter to me either. I’d show up at school late, I’d skip college classes and if a boss got mad at me for not turning up to work for a week, I’d just tell him I hated him and his bloody job.
Nowadays I wear a watch. I’m like clockwork. Dutch TV magazines tell you that a programme on Dutch TV will start at 20:27 (seriously). When it starts 1 minute late I’m in all states and sometimes even feel obliged to file a complaint.
“YOU CAN’T START A PROGRAMME ONE MINUTE LATE FOR GOD’S SAKE...IT’S JUST NOT DONE!!!”
I mean, what if there was a following programme on another channel that I wanted to see, which starts one minute earlier and my video recorder is already recording yet another programme on another channel.
When I was younger I didn’t need material things either. A bed, my guitar and some clothes.
Now I need a couch. If I don’t have a couch and a table to put my feet on, how on earth am I going to watch the Bold and the Beautiful on the flat screen TV I’ve got? And what’s the point of a big TV without a DVD player, a video, a stereo link-up and tons and tons of bloody CD’s. And a dinner table. And a computer.
What’s going on? I’ve turned into my greatest nightmare!!!
One day, I’m sure, in the not too distant future, I’m going to ease off the accelarator and drive along at 120km’s an hour. Why not? It’s safer, I should have planned my journey better so that I don’t need to rush...and 120’s quite fast enough as well, thank you very much!
I'm 18 years old and you brought me down with that, dude. 🙁 I can't even get my car's stereo up louder than the damn clanking engine anyway! Stupid Fords.
Nonetheless, sounds like you're in tune for a mid-life crisis, my friend. Time to start wearing orange shirts and start up a jazz band! 😀
-A 18-year-old who's already got a crummy computer job and no girl,
Kev
Right there with you Shav, I used to sleep on a matress, now I have a bed. I used to have girlfriends, now I have a partner. I used to drink, now I savour a bottle of wine. I used to smoke, now I cough in public. I used to enjoy my freedom, now I want my own house. I used to like being irresponsible, now I want kids. I used to play computer games now I play chess.
Age is no fun, I wanna be young again :'(
Originally posted by shavixmirThis is just the start! You will know when old age really sets in; as Goerge Burns used to say,
And I think it’s old age setting in. Seriously, I do.
"First you forget names,
then you forget faces,
next you forget to pull your zipper up
and finally you forget to pull it down!
😀
Tell me about it. I've degenerated to "Classic FM" and even the symphonies are too loud - I only want piano and chamber music now. And this from a former punk rock/new waver. It's almost as sad as the rubber tyre that has grown around my middrift. It's a strain just to see my equipment now, never mind use it!
Originally posted by elvendreamgirlThe mere fact that "you pushing me around in a wheel chair whilst wearing a nurses uniform" sounds like second-heaven is a sure sign I'm past everything but nursing homes, a vague urine smell, false teeth and death.
All right all you pitiful old men, let nurse sarah push you around in your wheel chairs. I will wear an especially shoprt nursey uniform and give you all pureed cookies and milk.