Originally posted by StarrmanLove is not something you define and then have. It's something you have, and then try to define.
I dunno, that seems so, how can I put this? Umm... surreal. The way I see it, love is the ultimate selfishness, people use it interchangably with notions of altruism, charity etc, but I think that's a mistake. The basic function of love is to ensure two things, which inevitably boil down to just one. a) That nobody else can have what you have b) That y ...[text shortened]... oly or spiritual sense of love, nor that love truly transcends into the realm of selflessness.
The reason you want (focus on want) to protect your tribe and see it succeed, is what? Your own survival? Most of us are miserable when people we cherish are lost. It's not that we can't survive without them, though. It's this thing called love. Haven't you ever felt that?
Originally posted by StarrmanWell in your favour I could never understand or comprehend it either untill I had my children. I believed the worst in people, despised every one of them, and failed to realize my own ability to love unselfishly. It isn't untill you discover that ability can you really understand what is meant by It's better to give than recieve. And by the very act of giving unselfish love to others you in turn get it back ten fold. We reap what we sow and I'm not trying to be all biblical over this because it has nothing to do with the bible, it's just the way the universe works for whatever peculiar reason.
I dunno, that seems so, how can I put this? Umm... surreal. The way I see it, love is the ultimate selfishness, people use it interchangably with notions of altruism, charity etc, but I think that's a mistake. The basic function of love is to ensure two things, which inevitably boil down to just one. a) That nobody else can have what you have b) That y ...[text shortened]... oly or spiritual sense of love, nor that love truly transcends into the realm of selflessness.
Love is not a want in human life, it's a need. Anyone else see the documentary about little babies in Romanian orphanages that were so over housed and understaffed that these little babies were never cuddled, caressed, played with or cooed over. They become very self destructive early on. Often inflicting unbearable pain to themselves. Couples who have adopted some of these children have had great difficulty in caring for them due to the extent of harm they cause to themselves. I think that speaks volumes about human nature and biological needs. We need to be loved and when we're not we become self destructive in one form or another to varying degrees.
So I think that it boils down to more than just ensuring success. It boils down to our very being, our reason for existance. A determining factor in more than just wether or not we are sucesfull but wether we will even survive.
Originally posted by mokkoYou misunderstand, I am not bitter, nor do I think the worst of people. I have a partner I adore; we are planning to have children this year, lots of friends and a family I love, for all it's foibles. However, I am under no illusions that this has anything to do with selflessness.
Well in your favour I could never understand or comprehend it either untill I had my children. I believed the worst in people, despised every one of them, and failed to realize my own ability to love unselfishly. It isn't untill you discover that ability can you really understand what is meant by It's better to give than recieve. And by the very act of giving ...[text shortened]... g factor in more than just wether or not we are sucesfull but wether we will even survive.
Originally posted by stockenOf course it's for your own survival. Without your own survival there would be no need to even consider the question. You ensure the survival of others only to benefit your own.
Love is not something you define and then have. It's something you have, and then try to define.
The reason you want (focus on want) to protect your tribe and see it succeed, is what? Your own survival? Most of us are miserable when people we cherish are lost. It's not that we can't survive without them, though. It's this thing called love. Haven't you ever felt that?
And like I said to mokko, I do feel that, the only difference is that I don't believe it is defined as you suggest. I am happy to feel as we all obviously do, but I interpret the reasons differently, that is all.
Originally posted by StarrmanLOL! Talk to me some more once that little baby comes along. Selflessness is the name of the game. The greatest teacher you will ever have in your life will be your own child.
You misunderstand, I am not bitter, nor do I think the worst of people. I have a partner I adore; we are planning to have children this year, lots of friends and a family I love, for all it's foibles. However, I am under no illusions that this has anything to do with selflessness.
And I didn't mean to imply that you were bitter. I was simply stating at one point in life I wasn't of the same opinion on love as I am now. It was very much a selfish endevour before I became a parent.
I wish a very beautifull, healthy baby for your near future. Oh great, now look what you've done....I want another baby. 😞
I think you should have a girl. 😉
Originally posted by mokkoI want a girl, I intend to teach her how to play cricket and guitar like most father's do with their sons, then let her strut her stuff all over the blokes.
LOL! Talk to me some more once that little baby comes along. Selflessness is the name of the game. The greatest teacher you will ever have in your life will be your own child.
And I didn't mean to imply that you were bitter. I was simply stating at one point in life I wasn't of the same opinion on love as I am now. It was very much a selfish endevour befor ...[text shortened]... t, now look what you've done....I want another baby. 😞
I think you should have a girl. 😉
We will see, I demand we talk about this after she is born.
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Originally posted by mokkoNot only that, a kid turns your world around (180 degrees), but they are also your greatest mirror!!!
The greatest teacher you will ever have in your life will be your own child.
I see things in my kids (2 sons) that are really like me and I don't always like it. 😞
Edit: That doesn't matter, I'm stil proud of them and very much love them.😏
Originally posted by StarrmanSo do I!
I demand we talk about this after she is born.
My girls are wanna be ninjas who can outwit and beat up any boy for miles around. It's great! They can't stand barbies or dolls. It's strictly action figures and monster trucks. I some days feel as if I had boys for the amount of boxing gloves and robot dinasours I have around here. Funny how they can just turn on that girlish charm with the snap of the fingers though. Mabye you'll have the next Biff Naked with Pam Anderson looks. 😉
Originally posted by Loose ScrewVery VERY true! Thus becoming our greatest teachers. Teaching us about ourselves.
Not only that, a kid turns your world around (180 degrees), but they are also your greatest mirror!!!
I see things in my kids (2 sons) that are really like me and I don't always like it. 😞
Originally posted by Booyah333Well this has all got very deep.
Well, when you figure it out, let me know.
Why do women, when in an abusive or uncaring relationship (usually with a 'bad boy'😉, always say they would just like to find a nice, stable guy.
But if they are seeing a nice, stable guy, they cheat on him with a bad boy.
Women... you are evil, schizophrenic trolls who can't see past your own noses.
I can't speak for other women but for what it is worth i'll tell you what I like in a man.
Someone that I can respect and he respects me and my opinions, even if our views are different.
Someone who will hold me close when I am feeling vunerable, and who is happy for me to hold when they are down.
Someone that will love me and tell me so.
Someone that is thoughtful, that will take the heavier bags when we arre shopping, even if I can manage.
Someone I can look after, care for and cherish without the worry of being hurt.
Oh, and mind blowing sex of course, lol, he must have a lot of stamina.
😀
Originally posted by Moldy CrowWorks for me!!
Men want - Julia Child in the kitchen , June Cleaver in the livingroom , and Marilyn Chambers in the bedroom . Women want Brad Pitt in the bedroom , Brad Pitt in the kitchen , and Brad Pitt in the livingroom . And a diamond the size of freakin' cabbage .
😀😀
Originally posted by bambeeYou're my ideal woman - I think I've fallen in love...
Well this has all got very deep.
I can't speak for other women but for what it is worth i'll tell you what I like in a man.
Someone that I can respect and he respects me and my opinions, even if our views are different.
Someone who will hold me close when I am feeling vunerable, and who is happy for me to hold when they are down.
Someone that will ...[text shortened]... f being hurt.
Oh, and mind blowing sex of course, lol, he must have a lot of stamina.
😀
Originally posted by mokkolmao... how true!
If you make something too simple men will not understand it. They need to make things more complicated than what they are so that they don't feel so dumb when they still don't get it.
this one goes in the book I'm compiling called "The Wisdom of Mokko"... lol...