as suggested by the boys at blue collar TV, pre-chewed food, so we don't have to chew ever again
also, a device that whipes my butt for me
a portable, pocket sized einstein that i can talk to and ask questions to
an anti-terrorist device ------------> weapon the kills only terrorists
a machine that can supply me with an eternity of original jokes that make me double over laughing
a decent president... haven't had one of those since reagan
a hillary clinton death ray device