A guy walks into a hotel and says, i want to rent a room. The guy behind the counter says, 'sorry, there's only one room open, and it's haunted.'
the guy says he'll take it anyway.
then, in the middle of the night, when it's dead quiet, the guy hears a soft chanting of 'if the log falls over, we'll all be dead. if the log falls over, we'll all be dead.'
the guy freaks out and jumps out the window.
next day
A movie star walks into a hotel and says, i want to rent a room. The guy behind the counter says, 'sorry, there's only one room open, and it's haunted.'
the movie star says he doesn't believe in ghosts.
then, in the middle of the night, when it's dead quiet, the movie star hears a soft chanting of 'if the log falls over, we'll all be dead. if the log falls over, we'll all be dead.'
the movie star freaks out and runs out of the room screaming and crying.
next day
A granma and her granson walks into a hotel and say, we want to rent a room. The guy behind the counter says, 'sorry, there's only one room open, and it's haunted.'
the granma and her granson says they'll take it anyway.
then, in the middle of the night, when it's dead quiet, the granma and her granson hear a soft chanting of 'if the log falls over, we'll all be dead. if the log falls over, we'll all be dead.'
the granma goes calmly into the bathroom, lifts up the lid, and there is a piece of poo floating in the water with a bunch of ants of it chanting, 'if the log falls over, we'll all be dead. if the log falls over, we'll all be dead.'
Originally posted by domino971That was the dumbest joke I've ever heard. Besides this one:
A guy walks into a hotel and says, i want to rent a room. The guy behind the counter says, 'sorry, there's only one room open, and it's haunted.'
the guy says he'll take it anyway.
then, in the middle of the night, when it's dead quiet, the guy hears a soft chanting of 'if the log falls over, we'll all be dead. if the log falls over, we'll all be dead.' ...[text shortened]... we'll all be dead. if the log falls over, we'll all be dead.'
One time I tried to paint my house but I ran out of Wite Out.
haha. you guys are so funny.
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3 guys go fishing. In the first net they get a ton of crabs.
In the second net they get a few crabs and a fish.
In the 3rd net they catch a mermaid.
The mermaid says “I’l grant you each a wish if you let me go.”
The first guy says, “ I wish I was really smart.”
And POOF! He starts quoting Shakespeare.
The second guy says, “ I wish I was smarter than that guy.”
And POOF! He starts quoting Einstien.
The 3rd guy says, “I wish I was smarter than both of them combined!”
And POOF! He turns into a girl!
Three riveters are working the high steel in downtown Toronto. An Italian, a Portugese man and a Newfie. They each have lunch with each other everyday.
The Italian guy opens his lunch and finds Penne Arribiatta which he has had for lunch everyday for the past ten years.
"If I have Penne Arribiatta for lunch one more day, I'm going to throw myself off this goddamn building!"
The portugese guy opens his lunch to find rice and sardines, which he has had for lunch every day for the past fifteen years.
"If I have Rice and Sardines for lunch one more time, I'm going to throw myself off this goddamn building.
The Newfie opens his lunch to find Codfish and Potatoes which he's had for lunch everyday for the past twenty years.
"If I have to eat dis Cod and Potatoes one more time dere, I'm gonna trow myself off this goddman building, bo-iy."
The next day,
The Italian opens his lunch - Penne Arribiatta. He throws himself off the building and dies.
The Portugese man opens his lunch - Rice and Sardines. he throws himself off the building and dies.
The Newfie opens his lunch - Codfish and Potatoes. He throws himself off the building and dies.
Afterwards, the wives of the three men are bawling their eyes out with each other and trying to come to terms with the tragic loss.
The wife of the Italian says, "I don't understand it at all. I've been making him the same lunch for ten years and he's never complained once! Why didn't he just tell me he didn't want Penne Arribiatta any longer?!"
The wife of the Portugese man says, "My husband too! I've been making him the same lunch for fifteen years and never once did he ask me to make him something different! I just don't understand!"
The wife of the Newfie says, "I don't understand it either. He always made his own lunch."
A man in an hotel accidenatlly brushes his elbow against a female guest's breast when entering the lift. 'Sorry', he says, 'but if your heart is as soft as your bosom, you will forgive me'. 'I certainly do', says the woman, 'and if the rest of your body is as hard as your elbow, my room number is 101'.
Originally posted by darvlayhaha. that's actually really funny. i heard it as a blonde, brunette, and a red head though.😀
Three riveters are working the high steel in downtown Toronto. An Italian, a Portugese man and a Newfie. They each have lunch with each other everyday.
The Italian guy opens his lunch and finds Penne Arribiatta which he has had for lunch everyday for the past ten years.
"If I have Penne Arribiatta for lunch one more day, I'm going to throw myself o ...[text shortened]... wfie says, "I don't understand it either. He always made his own lunch."
Originally posted by znshoewww.
A man in an hotel accidenatlly brushes his elbow against a female guest's breast when entering the lift. 'Sorry', he says, 'but if your heart is as soft as your bosom, you will forgive me'. 'I certainly do', says the woman, 'and if the rest of your body is as hard as your elbow, my room number is 101'.
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NO PREVERTED JOKES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!