You missed a few out;
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks theother and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire onthe income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to takeharmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force theother to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant toanalyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to yourpublicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by yourbrother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with anassociated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a taxexemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferredvia an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by themajority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to yourlisted company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with anoption on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the UnitedStates, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with therelease. The public buys your bull.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot,and block the roads because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they areone-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market itworldwide.
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they livefor 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You decide to have lunch.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you havefive cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count themagain and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open anotherbottle of vodka.
SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. Youcharge the owners for storing them.
CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, andarrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell themthat you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of youand invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you arepart of a Democracy.
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
Originally posted by yo its meAustralia has a lot in common with Trinidad WI.
You missed a few out;
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, sho ...[text shortened]... o cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
IRISH CORPORATION: You had two cows.
The EC gave you a big farming subsidy and paid you to set aside your land. You sent the cows off to the abattoir and went fishing.
INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but they are holy. They trample the vegetables and refuse to be milked. You already decided you are vegetarian anyway.
-anyone venture a mu**im corporation? am i allowed to say that?
Originally posted by yo its mehilarious, rec'd
You missed a few out;
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, sho ...[text shortened]... o cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
ou've prob seen this before but tis funny none the less.... Maybe it should go in spirituality??
I particularly like catholicism and the Hare Krishna ones
S**t
# Taoism: S**t happens.
# Confucianism: Confucius say, "S**t happens."
# Buddhism: If S**t happens, it isn't really S**t.
# Zen Buddhism: S**t is, and is not.
# Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of S**t happening?
# Hinduism: This S**t has happened before.
# Islam: If S**t happens, it is the will of Allah.
# Islam #2: If S**t happens, kill the person responsible.
# Islam #3: If S**t happens, blame Israel.
# Catholicism: If S**t happens, you deserve it.
# Protestantism: Let S**t happen to someone else.
# Presbyterian: This S**t was bound to happen.
# Episcopalian: It's not so bad if S**t happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
# Methodist: It's not so bad if S**t happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
# Congregationalist: S**t that happens to one person is just as good as S**t that happens to another.
# Unitarian: S**t that happens to one person is just as bad as S**t that happens to another.
# Lutheran: If S**t happens, don't talk about it.
# Fundamentalism: If S**t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
# Fundamentalism #2: If S**t happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
# Fundamentalism #3: S**t must be born again.
# Judaism: Why does this S**t always happen to us?
# Calvinism: S**t happens because you don't work.
# Seventh Day Adventism: No S**t shall happen on Saturday.
# Creationism: God made all S**t so how could this S**t have turned into that S**t.
# Secular Humanism: S**t evolves.
# Christian Science: When S**t happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
# Christian Science #2: S**t happening is all in your mind.
# Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this S**t.
# Quakers: Let us not fight over this S**t.
# Utopianism: This S**t does not stink.
# Darwinism: This S**t was once food.
# Capitalism: That's MY S**t.
# Communism: It's everybody's S**t.
# Feminism: Men are S**t.
# Chauvinism: We may be S**t, but you can't live without us...
# Commercialism: Let's package this S**t.
# Impressionism: From a distance, S**t looks like a garden.
# Idolism: Let's bronze this S**t.
# Existentialism: S**t doesn't happen; S**t IS.
# Existentialism #2: What is S**t, anyway?
# Stoicism: This S**t is good for me.
# Hedonism: There is nothing like a good S**t happening!
# Mormonism: God sent us this S**t
# Mormonism #2: This S**t is going to happen again.
# Wiccan: An it harm none, let S**t happen.
# Scientology: If S**t happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
# Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< S**t happens.
# Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our S**t?
# Jehovah's Witnesses #3: S**t has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
# Moonies: Only really happy S**t happens.
# Hare Krishna: S**t happens, rama rama.
# Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this S**t!
# Zoroastrianism: S**t happens half on the time.
# Church of SubGenius: BoB S**t.
# Practical: Deal with S**t one day at a time.
# Agnostic: S**t might have happened; then again, maybe not.
# Agnostic #2: Did someone S**t?
# Agnostic #3: What is this S**t?
# Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
# Atheism: What S**t?
# Atheism #2: I can't believe this S**t!
# Nihilism: No S**t.
Originally posted by yo its merec'ced!
You missed a few out;
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, sho ...[text shortened]... o cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
Nice work 🙂