Heard this today, not my joke so I can't be sued.
Tony Blair needs to start a fitness regime. He decides to go jogging through London to see his capital everyday. Jogging through Soho (the Redlight district to non-Londoners) a "lady of the night" spots him and yells "£20". Tony smiles jogs by, winks, and says "a £5". This happens everyday for the next week or so until Tony's wife Cherie decides to join him. As Tony and Cherie jog through London Tony starts thinking "Oh dear, what if she offers him her service's... what will his Cherie think". As they run into Soho, the "lady of the night" yells
"That's what you get for a £5!"
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Well I thought they were funny...
almost as funny as
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
Thread contributions... how about just jokes.
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Not original... no... but if you don't want to join in... erm.... don't (more polite way of saying "go play with a sharp pointy thingy, whilst blindfolded and hopping downstairs"... don't do this at home folks!). Bowmann.. The threads can be amusing and more original than your ever so witty retorts.
Back to the jokes.....A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”