How to NOT improve your chess

if you want to play a hypermodern style, just give up the centre throughout the whole game. it's just an old myth, totally exagerrated.

Originally posted by jeroenn
Centralization: keep moving ALL you pieces towards the centre. Maybe try to get your Rooks in first. They are most effective if placed on d4, e4, d5, e5.

Start with a winning game plan: as soon as the clock is running, try to think of a winning game plan first. Please try to predict all your opponents moves, before making you first move.

Play extremely ...[text shortened]... . Keep playing > 1.000 games at the same time (time control < 1 day) at all times.

Good luck!

Just play the move that the database says scores the best.

and don't bother pruning your database, the more games the better.

When presented with the chance to play Alekhine's Defence.... don't. After 1. e4 Nf6 not 2. e5? rather 2. Qg4!! Yes! The Queen's Gambit. Woe betide the patzer that captures the queen with 2. ... Nxg4? The central pawn at e5 radiates power while black wastes a tempo. A forced white win in six moves.

Remember, castling is for pussies!

Don't weaken your pawn structure. Leave them on their starting squares, your knights can do the rest.

Don't bother with even moving the pieces...just resign.

As black, play copycat with your pieces.

Originally posted by AttilaTheHorn
Fight for control of the edge of the board. Forget the centre.

True Story - Breaking your opponents pieces on the floor will get you kicked out of tournaments 😞.

I swear it was an accident...

Recently it has been proven that the dark squares are of more strategic importance than the light squares.
Use your superior strategic knowledge & seize the initiative as white with the moves a3, c3, e3, & g3 & you are guaranteed results!

clothes hinder creativity ... only play when you're naked

Originally posted by JonathanB of London
clothes hinder creativity ... only play when you're naked

To have good condition is always good. Your pieces nead it also. If you have moved a Bishop early, let it move a lot. It will disturbe you opponent. If you can not move the Bishop, go for next piece and move it so many times as you can.

Yeah, never move a single piece once especially in the opening. Try some nasty pawn attack like a4-a5-a6 weakning your opponents queenside right from the beginning of the game.