"Adultery" site sued

Originally posted by twhitehead
We have been separated for over 10 years. We are still legally married though. My situation is not all that unusual. Getting a divorce is a lengthy legal process.

I'm sorry to hear about that. 10 years is a long time to get a divorce pulled through, but the lengthy process is an example of how the judiciary views the marriage "contract" and the assosiated complications with unpicking it.

Originally posted by divegeester
I'm sorry to hear about that. 10 years is a long time to get a divorce pulled through, but the lengthy process is an example of how the judiciary views the marriage "contract" and the assosiated complications with unpicking it.

Its not that its taken 10 years to get a divorce, its that we haven't bothered to get one because its too much bother. If one of us decides we want to get remarried, then we will probably go though the necessary court process. Until then, why bother?

My main point is that a marriage contract is largely an issue between the two parties and only if those parties wish to take an issue to court should the law get involved. If we mutually agree to allow adultery, then we shouldn't be arrested for violating some law.

Another interesting question is whether adultery in marriage is morally worse than cheating on a girlfriend/boyfriend or 'life partner'. Is breaking a legal contract relationship worse than breaking a verbal contract relationship?

Originally posted by twhitehead
Another interesting question is whether adultery in marriage is morally worse than cheating on a girlfriend/boyfriend or 'life partner'. Is breaking a legal contract relationship worse than breaking a verbal contract relationship?

For me there is little difference, it all comes down to the nuance of the hurt done to the other party, the children, other family members, even close friends are affected as you may have experienced in your situation.

Originally posted by twhitehead
Its not that its taken 10 years to get a divorce, its that we haven't bothered to get one because its too much bother. If one of us decides we want to get remarried, then we will probably go though the necessary court process. Until then, why bother?

My main point is that a marriage contract is largely an issue between the two parties and only if those ...[text shortened]... d. If we mutually agree to allow adultery, then we shouldn't be arrested for violating some law.

"If we mutually agree to allow adultery, then we shouldn't be arrested for violating some law."

"We" who? Democracy dictates that the majority rules. If you want the law changed then lobby for it, but expect to be arrested and possibly convicted if you break the law.

Adultery is a much more serious offense than you think it is.

Originally posted by josephw
[b]"If we mutually agree to allow adultery, then we shouldn't be arrested for violating some law."

Adultery is a much more serious offense than you think it is.[/b]

How so?

Morally, legally, religiously?

Originally posted by josephw
"We" who? Democracy dictates that the majority rules.

Luckily, most countries are not democracies (at least not in that sense).

If you want the law changed then lobby for it, but expect to be arrested and possibly convicted if you break the law.
As far as I know, adultery isn't illegal in my country, so no law needs to be changed.

Adultery is a much more serious offense than you think it is.
Please enlighten me. What is the maximum sentence for adultery in your country?

Originally posted by josephw
Adultery is a much more serious offense than you think it is.

I think that the only criminalized sexual acts should be those that use coercion and/or happen without informed consent. Adultery in many cases may be immoral ~ and may well have serious consequences ~ but I don't think it should ever be an "offense" in legal terms: that would be an intolerable intrusion by the state into the private lives of citizens.

Originally posted by Ghost of a Duke
How so?

Morally, legally, religiously?

"Practically".

Everyone knows, except those who never learned it, that the family unit, which consists of a man, his wife and children, is the foundation of all civilized societies as far back as the historical record goes.

Adultery is a direct threat against the fabric of all civilization. And anyone who argues against that is a blithering idiot.

Originally posted by twhitehead
Luckily, most countries are not democracies (at least not in that sense).

[b]If you want the law changed then lobby for it, but expect to be arrested and possibly convicted if you break the law.
As far as I know, adultery isn't illegal in my country, so no law needs to be changed.

Adultery is a much more serious offense than you think it is.
Please enlighten me. What is the maximum sentence for adultery in your country?[/b]

Why should I enlighten you?

Is there something you don't understand?

Originally posted by FMF
I think that the only criminalized sexual acts should be those that use coercion and/or happen without informed consent. Adultery in many cases may be immoral ~ and may well have serious consequences ~ but I don't think it should ever be an "offense" in legal terms: that would be an intolerable intrusion by the state into the private lives of citizens.

I agree.

Well, I said offense, but not in the legal sense. I agree that legislating morality isn't going to go over so well in a free society.

Look over at what's going on in Iraq and other "religiously" run countries. Isis for example is forcing on the populace their extreme views of personal behavior all the while raping and murdering and plundering.

Religious people are, in my view, the biggest hypocrites, especially when they try to enforce morality.

Laws should protect freedom.

Originally posted by josephw
"Practically".

Everyone knows, except those who never learned it, that the family unit, which consists of a man, his wife and children, is the foundation of all civilized societies as far back as the historical record goes.

Adultery is a direct threat against the fabric of all civilization. And anyone who argues against that is a blithering idiot.

You appear to have taken the 'adult' out of 'adultery.'

Adults are free to make their own decisions and mistakes. Adultery is just another form of 'temptation' and it is the act of overcoming temptation that is the true foundation block of a civilized society.

To fear temptation is to capitulate before it.

Originally posted by josephw
Why should I enlighten you?

Is there something you don't understand?

Yes, why else would I ask?

Originally posted by josephw
Adultery is a direct threat against the fabric of all civilization. And anyone who argues against that is a blithering idiot.

Or possibly had a better education than you. Nearly every civilization I learnt about was rife with adultery at the very highest levels of leadership.

And a significant proportion were polygamous.

Originally posted by FMF
I think that the only criminalized sexual acts should be those that use coercion and/or happen without informed consent. Adultery in many cases may be immoral ~ and may well have serious consequences ~ but I don't think it should ever be an "offense" in legal terms: that would be an intolerable intrusion by the state into the private lives of citizens.

In many countries (the U.S. for example) adultery is legally regarded as an offense in the sense that it is legitimate grounds for divorce... but you can only get a divorce on those grounds if you are already married.

In an intimate boyfriend girlfriend relationship one cannot technically commit adultery (one against the other) because an adulterous relationship already exists between them. There is no real (binding) commitment between the two, so "cheating" has actually been on the table from the start of their relationship as a possibility for either one of them.

A commitment may be implied because they presently live together as a couple. But this kind of arrangement is a bit hazy, as it may not mean the same thing to both parties. There is no real agreement here, other than what may or may not be thought of (as an agreement) in the minds of the people concerned. The problem with relationships like this is that one of them may feel they are soul mates for life, but the other may not feel they are bound by that same level of (undefined, or ill defined) commitment. Some people are okay with this kind of arrangement because of how easy it is to extricate themselves... and then go on to perhaps form other new (non-contractual) arrangements with other new love interests.

But marriage doesn't exist to only discourage indiscriminate bed hopping, it exists to provide a stable environment for children. Children are extremely dependent emotionally (as well as physically) on their parents, and one of the scariest things any child might have to deal with would be parents who are themselves (emotionally) children.