1. Melbourne, Australia
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    7680
    18 Sep '12 04:22
    "...A nominally Buddhist historian tells me that the first generation were rather serious people, but their descendents lightened up to an amazing degree.
    In the fourth century, Indian Buddhist scholar Bharata identified six degrees of amusement. These ranged from the “sita” (a faint smile) to the “atihasita” (which is when you laugh so hard your jiggly bits wobble).
    ***
    '...“my life sucks” contest that two famous Buddhist scholars, Chao-chou and Wen-yuan, had in 800 AD (I did not make this up).

    Chao-chou: “I am nothing but a donkey.”

    Wen-yuan:“A donkey? You’re SO lucky. I am merely a donkey’s buttocks.”

    Chao-chou: “Actually, I dream that I could one day be a donkey’s buttocks. At the moment, I am what comes out of the donkey’s buttocks.”

    Wen-yuan: “You’re privileged. I’d give anything to be what comes out of donkey’s buttocks. For I am but a worm living in what comes out of a donkey’s buttocks. And do you know why I’m there?”

    Chao-chou: “Why?”

    Wen-yuan: “Because I wanted to go somewhere special for my summer holidays.”

    With this line, Wen-yuan won the competition.
    ***
    One reader said: “I think it can be argued that zen koans are among the funniest, cleverest and most thought-provoking jokes and one-liners on the planet.” ...Here are two samples.

    1) A student is on one side of a raging river. There are no bridges. He has no boat. He shouts out to the master on the opposite bank. “How do I get to the other side?” The master shouts back: “You are on the other side.”

    2) Master: “You stop being a young student and become a great master when you realize that you don’t exist.” Student: “To whom do you speak, young student?”
    ***
    1) Q: Why can't a Buddhist vacuum under the sofa? A: Because he has no attachments.”

    2) Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with? A: He enters Nerdvana.
    ***
    It’s interesting to note that Buddhist humor often deals with paradoxes. A typical one-liner is this one:

    “Things are not what they seem; nor are they otherwise.”

    (You have to think about that to appreciate it.)

    “A Zen master once said to me, ‘Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.’ So I didn't.”

    (WARNING: Thinking about that one too hard may make your head explode.)
    ***
    Q: What did a Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
    A: Make me one with everything.

    (The hot dog vendor prepares the hot dog and gives it to the monk. The monk pays him and asks for the change. The hot dog vendor says: "Change comes from within".)
    ***
    Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None, they are the light bulb.
    ***

    Sources:
    http://www.edepot.com/budhumor.html
    http://mrjam.typepad.com/diary/2010/02/10-best-buddhist-jokes.html
  2. Standard memberKellyJay
    Walk your Faith
    USA
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    18 Sep '12 05:54
    Okay, I laughed out loud with this, well done. 🙂
    Kelly
  3. Standard memberkaroly aczel
    the Devil himself
    Brisbane,QLD
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    18 Sep '12 15:30
    Now if we could all swear a bit more around here this would be even more gutbusting
    two thumbs and toes up Taoman 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
  4. Joined
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    18 Sep '12 17:32
    people need a lot more atihasita in their lives. although i didn't get to that level reading these, i did find myself chuckling. which level is that?
  5. Joined
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    18 Sep '12 19:17
    Originally posted by VoidSpirit
    people need a lot more atihasita in their lives. although i didn't get to that level reading these, i did find myself chuckling. which level is that?
    Chucklehead is 6 levels below Godhead. You now need to collect the amulet and with its protection defeat the dragon at the next gate.
  6. Standard memberRemoved
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    18 Sep '12 20:29
    Laughter is good for the soul....🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
  7. Standard memberAgerg
    The 'edit'or
    converging to it
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    18 Sep '12 20:36
    Originally posted by Taoman
    "...A nominally Buddhist historian tells me that the first generation were rather serious people, but their descendents lightened up to an amazing degree.
    In the fourth century, Indian Buddhist scholar Bharata identified six degrees of amusement. These ranged from the “sita” (a faint smile) to the “atihasita” (which is when you laugh so hard your jiggly bits ...[text shortened]... epot.com/budhumor.html
    http://mrjam.typepad.com/diary/2010/02/10-best-buddhist-jokes.html
    1) A student is on one side of a raging river. There are no bridges. He has no boat. He shouts out to the master on the opposite bank. “How do I get to the other side?” The master shouts back: “You are on the other side.”
    I don't know why...but this one in particular made me laugh 😀
  8. Account suspended
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    18 Sep '12 20:47
    Originally posted by Agerg
    [b]1) A student is on one side of a raging river. There are no bridges. He has no boat. He shouts out to the master on the opposite bank. “How do I get to the other side?” The master shouts back: “You are on the other side.”
    I don't know why...but this one in particular made me laugh 😀[/b]
    I instantly thought of you Agers when i read the phrase Nerdvana, can't think why.
  9. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
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    18 Sep '12 21:06
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    I instantly thought of you Agers when i read the phrase Nerdvana, can't think why.
    I got a chuckle out of 'so I didn't'....Well actually, a light guffaw.....
  10. Standard memberkaroly aczel
    the Devil himself
    Brisbane,QLD
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    18 Sep '12 23:021 edit
    Originally posted by JS357
    Chucklehead is 6 levels below Godhead. You now need to collect the amulet and with its protection defeat the dragon at the next gate.
    So is Knucklehead above or below Chucklehead?
    Also what level is before Godhead? Cleanhead?

    ("cleanliness is next to godliness" is a phrase I'm having trouble with so I'm just trying to insert it here in the faint hope that someone will enlighten me a bit as to what the hell that means and if it is a Christian phrase or not? )
  11. Standard memberkaroly aczel
    the Devil himself
    Brisbane,QLD
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    18 Sep '12 23:061 edit
    So far this has been one of the more revealing threads, just 10 posts old now, where I think everyone who has posted has had a different favourite that made them chuckle.

    The "my life sucks" competition has been my fave, but everyone was pure gold. Taoman you've done wonders for this forum of late and I for one have appreciated your intelligent, creative concepts behind the thread titles , which together with the other great regulars who come and go here make for such a more richer and rewarding dialogue for the whole forum. Ta mate.
  12. Standard memberAgerg
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    18 Sep '12 23:321 edit
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    I instantly thought of you Agers when i read the phrase Nerdvana, can't think why.
    You're probably correct on that one at the moment - typing up 4 years of lecture notes (so I can afford to lose the paper versions)...having much fun right now tweaking pstricks object coordinates :]
  13. Joined
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    18 Sep '12 23:473 edits
    Originally posted by karoly aczel
    So is Knucklehead above or below Chucklehead?
    Also what level is before Godhead? Cleanhead?

    ("cleanliness is next to godliness" is a phrase I'm having trouble with so I'm just trying to insert it here in the faint hope that someone will enlighten me a bit as to what the hell that means and if it is a Christian phrase or not? )
    They differ, but not by much.

    There are many levels in this pursuit, that have names that end in "head."

    http://www.scrabblefinder.com/ends-with/head/

    But I was wrong or at least, as a meathead would, I hit the wrong key. Chucklehead is 4 levels below Godhead. It is on the same level as knucklehead. As you ascend through the levels, you get a persona, from the choices available at that level. Some of them don't work out so well, for everyone. It is possible to descend, as well.

    Note that just before the ultimate level of "head" there is only one choice, which is "ahead." How fitting.

    This is the way it works. I am glad you came to me in your spiritual journey; you have revealed to me the wisdom of Scrabble.

    edit: "Cleanhead" has been awarded permanently and solely to Eddie Vinson.

    YouTube
  14. Melbourne, Australia
    Joined
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    19 Sep '12 01:05
    Originally posted by JS357
    They differ, but not by much.

    There are many levels in this pursuit, that have names that end in "head."

    http://www.scrabblefinder.com/ends-with/head/

    But I was wrong or at least, as a meathead would, I hit the wrong key. Chucklehead is 4 levels below Godhead. It is on the same level as knucklehead. As you ascend through the levels, you get a persona, ...[text shortened]... d permanently and solely to Eddie Vinson.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMn2Zpd0AYw
    Looking forward to my annual pilgrimage soon to a Jazz and Blues Festival at our Wangaratta. Half the family come too. Good times.

    "I liked the one, ...do the opposite...so I didn't". Chuckle, chuckle.
    No laughing til you cry stuff. Then you ARE laughin.
  15. Standard memberkaroly aczel
    the Devil himself
    Brisbane,QLD
    Joined
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    19 Sep '12 01:13
    Originally posted by JS357
    They differ, but not by much.

    There are many levels in this pursuit, that have names that end in "head."

    http://www.scrabblefinder.com/ends-with/head/

    But I was wrong or at least, as a meathead would, I hit the wrong key. Chucklehead is 4 levels below Godhead. It is on the same level as knucklehead. As you ascend through the levels, you get a persona, ...[text shortened]... d permanently and solely to Eddie Vinson.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMn2Zpd0AYw
    Sweet, thanks 🙂
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