Parish/School Crisis

I didn't know where else to turn.

The Catholic parish (and school community) to which I belong is in crisis.

Our small community was welcoming, warm, accepting and very faithful to the church. We received a new parish priest last year and things have changed.

He verbally assaults teachers, yells at elderly parishoners, tells Y5/6 students (11 and 12yo) not to come to mass without the right attitude and literally throws parent helpers off the premises after a thankyou supper was organised by the school.

I am very concerned about my child's safety. This "leader" is not fit to be around children. Complaints have been made to the bishop and the Catholic Education Office but nothing is happening. I don't want to pull my child out because he is happy there and I do not want to leave as I have been a parishoner there for over 30 years.

Everyone passes the buck and the poor principal takes all the brunt.

How can we encourage and foster our faith in our children when we have such a poor example?

I am desperate because everyday that passes the situation is getting worse. There is talk about going to the media. But the church does not need any more bad publicity nor does our wonderful little school.

Who can I turn to?

Any constructive comments would be appreciated.

He sounds horrible. What you need is a happy smiling ever-so-slightly creepy priest who is happy to help young boys have a religious experience even well after hours.
One of those types should be easy enough to find, they seem to be dime a dozen.

Originally posted by XanthosNZ
He sounds horrible. What you need is a happy smiling ever-so-slightly creepy priest who is happy to help young boys have a religious experience even well after hours.
One of those types should be easy enough to find, they seem to be dime a dozen.

One of those types should be easy enough to find, they seem to be dime a dozen.

What % of priests do you think molest minors?

Originally posted by STRATOSPH3R3
I didn't know where else to turn.

The Catholic parish (and school community) to which I belong is in crisis.

Our small community was welcoming, warm, accepting and very faithful to the church. We received a new parish priest last year and things have changed.

He verbally assaults teachers, yells at elderly parishoners, tells Y5/6 students ( ...[text shortened]... onderful little school.

Who can I turn to?

Any constructive comments would be appreciated.

How can we encourage and foster our faith in our children when we have such a poor example?

This might be a good time to teach them the seventy times seven rule.

And, if Christ can forgive Peter for denying Him, why can't kids forgive their parish priest for being an a$$?

Originally posted by lucifershammer
[b]One of those types should be easy enough to find, they seem to be dime a dozen.

What % of priests do you think molest minors?[/b]

What percentage of joke comments do you take seriously?

Originally posted by XanthosNZ
What percentage of joke comments do you take seriously?

All those that are indicative of prejudice.

Originally posted by lucifershammer
[b]How can we encourage and foster our faith in our children when we have such a poor example?

This might be a good time to teach them the seventy times seven rule.

And, if Christ can forgive Peter for denying Him, why can't kids forgive their parish priest for being an a$$?[/b]

My son is preparing for the sacrament of reconcilliation, so I am sure he has already learnt (but perhaps yet to fully understand) the seventy times seven rule. I am pretty sure that the majority of the boys and girls at the school do not think too much about the parish priest (probably much to his annoyance) and other when he gets angry with them.

It is the parents who are having the greatest difficulty with the priest's leadership and actions. The only example he provides the children is what not to do and has the audacity to label us bad parents for not attending Mass each week. He is out of touch with the community, and whilst I appreciate his passion and zeal, I cannot agree with the the approach he has taken. It has offends common decency to verbally assault teachers, parishoners and parents of the children - all of the attacks have been on females. When I have been confronted and stood my ground he backed down.

Perhaps I should remind him of 70x7, and see what that prompts!

Originally posted by XanthosNZ
He sounds horrible. What you need is a happy smiling ever-so-slightly creepy priest who is happy to help young boys have a religious experience even well after hours.
One of those types should be easy enough to find, they seem to be dime a dozen.

I realise your comments are tongue-in-cheek, and if molestation was one of the harmful concerns we had, there probably would have immediate action. The sad thing is there are some malicious members of the parish who would be only too prepared to spread such insinuation - those same ones are the ones who want to go to the media.

And horrible, that is one of the more polite words that have been used.

[Edit: too slow with reponse, I see you have already had to explain your sense of humor]

Originally posted by STRATOSPH3R3
My son is preparing for the sacrament of reconcilliation, so I am sure he has already learnt (but perhaps yet to fully understand) the seventy times seven rule. I am pretty sure that the majority of the boys and girls at the school do not think too much about the parish priest (probably much to his annoyance) and other when he gets angry with them.

I ...[text shortened]... ood my ground he backed down.

Perhaps I should remind him of 70x7, and see what that prompts!

What are you teaching your kid by keeping him there? Surely he knows how unhappy you are with this priest. I'd pass up on the sacrament of reconciliation as staying there under the circumstances you describe makes it a sham. Time to shake the dust of your feet and move on.

Originally posted by kirksey957
What are you teaching your kid by keeping him there? Surely he knows how unhappy you are with this priest. I'd pass up on the sacrament of reconciliation as staying there under the circumstances you describe makes it a sham. Time to shake the dust of your feet and move on.

I agree. The child will be seeing the tension, the lack of trust and respect for the priest, and will take these to heart. If you want your child to honor the faith you're trying to teach them, follow your heart as you would want them to follow theirs. Lead by action and example. Go elsewhere, or become more active and treat this priest as your faith says you should: the way you would like him to treat you, turning the other cheek when he acts with undue aggression. Christian charity and grace could be used here to provide your child with an excellent example of what your faith could be like...and if that's not something you're willing or able to do, go elsewhere.

Originally posted by echecero
I agree. The child will be seeing the tension, the lack of trust and respect for the priest, and will take these to heart. If you want your child to honor the faith you're trying to teach them, follow your heart as you would want them to follow theirs. Lead by action and example. Go elsewhere, or become more active and treat this priest as your faith says ...[text shortened]... faith could be like...and if that's not something you're willing or able to do, go elsewhere.

I don't know, but I'm kind of thinking that it would be an expression of Christian charity to get this priest layed. Might help him to calm down and relax and all. You know what I'm sayin?

Originally posted by kirksey957
What are you teaching your kid by keeping him there? Surely he knows how unhappy you are with this priest. I'd pass up on the sacrament of reconciliation as staying there under the circumstances you describe makes it a sham. Time to shake the dust of your feet and move on.

I couldn't disagree more. You set a far better example for your child by showing him that you are a man willing to put the words of the Lord's Prayer in practice: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". Further, you also teach your son a very important catechetical lesson - the efficacy of the sacraments does not depend on the moral standing of the minister.

Originally posted by lucifershammer
I couldn't disagree more. You set a far better example for your child by showing him that you are a man willing to put the words of the Lord's Prayer in practice: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". Further, you also teach your son a very important catechetical lesson - the efficacy of the sacraments does not depend on the moral standing of the minister.

So how do you want to hold this priest accountable for his clearly inappropiate behavior?

Originally posted by STRATOSPH3R3
My son is preparing for the sacrament of reconcilliation, so I am sure he has already learnt (but perhaps yet to fully understand) the seventy times seven rule. I am pretty sure that the majority of the boys and girls at the school do not think too much about the parish priest (probably much to his annoyance) and other when he gets angry with them.

I ...[text shortened]... ood my ground he backed down.

Perhaps I should remind him of 70x7, and see what that prompts!

this guy reminds me a lot of a former priest i used to know. he would have temper tantrums at altar servers, used foul language around them, treated the mass more as a show. mind you, most of these altar servers were kids, ages 8-13. the church was his kingdom. and he was the king. it is these types that i try to stay away from. from what u've written, this guy sounds more like a bully then a man of God.

here's the problem. if your kid has developed close friendships with other kids in the school, a change to a brand new environment may not be the best of options. he might get the "new kid" treatment if he goes to a new school. worst of all, he probably wouldn't be able to see his old friends that much anymore, if at all. change is a part of life. however, if he is around 10-11 years old, i dont know if this change would be in his best interest. i say screw the priest. a$$hole$ are a dime a dozen. and they're everywhere. priests are no exception. and if it's the parents and teachers that he harasses, and not the kids, i wouldn't worry too much about it. i dont know how it is in australia, but if this situation was here, i would just let him stay with the environment he knows, the friends he knows, the teachers he knows. then in high school (or junior high, whichever system you apply too) he'll do it all over again anyway. new friends, new environment, new teachers, etc. etc. but taking him out now and placing him in a new school in the middle of elementary school education may not be the best option here. now if this priest starts to get on the kids, different story. adults is one thing. kids is another. if it becomes a problem, then i say definately consider getting him out of there. if there is any evidence of verbal abuse or (in the slight possibility) of physical abuse by this jerk, get your kid out of there. but in the meantime, this guy needs to get away from schools in general. he seems hostile, and an elementary school is no environment for a guy like him. it IS the bishop's responsibility to do something about it. unfortunately, it seems that some bishops turn their heads in the other direction. i really hope that this isn't the case here.

Originally posted by kirksey957
So how do you want to hold this priest accountable for his clearly inappropiate behavior?

If a private word with the priest himself and a letter to the Bishop or Vicar-General does not work, then I'd either minimise contact with the priest outside Mass and the Church, or call him out in public.

In any case, I'd make it clear to my son that this has nothing to do with the sacramental ministry of the priest.

And I certainly won't give up my beliefs because of one lousy priest.