12 Oct '19 17:44>
I understand that Buddhists have a saying:
"In the Western world, the finger points outward. In Zen, the finger points inward."
This makes sense to me. We are always looking for someone to take the blame. Finding fault is becoming a national pastime for Americans, especially. Whenever something bad happens, we look around for someone to blame. "Someone's got to pay for this!" we claim. So we look outward for solutions to our problems. Someone else has to "make this right". A lot of money is spent in lawsuits, or even threats, to "get back" at people we assign the blame to.
Instead, personal growth is achieved when we take responsibility. When we take it upon ourselves to solve our own problems, we invest in our own personal growth as a human being. A member of a whole. Placing blame and finding fault is diffusive. Taking responsibility is focusing, clarifying. Now, don't think for a minute that what I'm saying is that taking responsibility is the same as accepting fault. The two are not related. Taking personal responsibility is a solution to the problem of finding whom to blame, whether that blame is difficult to ascertain, or even when you know with complete certainty whom to blame. Taking responsibility is finishing the work of getting past a problem into finding a solution, because the solution is viable no matter whom is to blame. Placing blame leads to taking on the mentality of the perennial victim. Poor, poor me, or Who did this to me? They will pay! Taking responsibility gets things done, because no one will do it for you. Taking responsibility for the results of your own life means you are finally the captain of your own fate, and the captain of your own soul.
One of my favorite quotes is this:
"One of life's best coping mechanisms
is to know the difference between an
inconvenience and a problem.
If you break your neck,
if you have nothing to eat,
if your house is on fire,
then you've got a problem.
Everything else is an
inconvenience. Life is
inconvenient. Life is lumpy.
A lump in the oatmeal,
a lump in the throat,
and a lump in the breast
are not the same kind of lump.
One needs to learn the difference."
-- Robert Fulghum
"In the Western world, the finger points outward. In Zen, the finger points inward."
This makes sense to me. We are always looking for someone to take the blame. Finding fault is becoming a national pastime for Americans, especially. Whenever something bad happens, we look around for someone to blame. "Someone's got to pay for this!" we claim. So we look outward for solutions to our problems. Someone else has to "make this right". A lot of money is spent in lawsuits, or even threats, to "get back" at people we assign the blame to.
Instead, personal growth is achieved when we take responsibility. When we take it upon ourselves to solve our own problems, we invest in our own personal growth as a human being. A member of a whole. Placing blame and finding fault is diffusive. Taking responsibility is focusing, clarifying. Now, don't think for a minute that what I'm saying is that taking responsibility is the same as accepting fault. The two are not related. Taking personal responsibility is a solution to the problem of finding whom to blame, whether that blame is difficult to ascertain, or even when you know with complete certainty whom to blame. Taking responsibility is finishing the work of getting past a problem into finding a solution, because the solution is viable no matter whom is to blame. Placing blame leads to taking on the mentality of the perennial victim. Poor, poor me, or Who did this to me? They will pay! Taking responsibility gets things done, because no one will do it for you. Taking responsibility for the results of your own life means you are finally the captain of your own fate, and the captain of your own soul.
One of my favorite quotes is this:
"One of life's best coping mechanisms
is to know the difference between an
inconvenience and a problem.
If you break your neck,
if you have nothing to eat,
if your house is on fire,
then you've got a problem.
Everything else is an
inconvenience. Life is
inconvenient. Life is lumpy.
A lump in the oatmeal,
a lump in the throat,
and a lump in the breast
are not the same kind of lump.
One needs to learn the difference."
-- Robert Fulghum