1. Standard memberkaroly aczel
    the Devil himself
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    11 Mar '10 07:17
    It has been put that respect needs to be earned.
    I been thinking about this for years. I actually respect people automatically and give them a chance to prove it. I guess this line of reasoning comes from my spiritual orientation. After all, what is there to lose? Cause there is sure a lot to be gained.
    Do yous know what I'm getting at?
    (Of course I've been burnt and ripped off,etc. but I'm not going to change my style. I'm always going to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise)
  2. Joined
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    11 Mar '10 08:25
    Originally posted by karoly aczel
    It has been put that respect needs to be earned.
    I been thinking about this for years. I actually respect people automatically and give them a chance to prove it. I guess this line of reasoning comes from my spiritual orientation. After all, what is there to lose? Cause there is sure a lot to be gained.
    Do yous know what I'm getting at?
    (Of course I ...[text shortened]... style. I'm always going to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise)
    i think what you are thinking of is politeness. the "not being rude from the start with someone"

    respect is when you trully trust someone, their opinion matters to you, and you generally think of them as someone worth having around.

    that indeed has to be earned.
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    11 Mar '10 08:56
    Originally posted by Zahlanzi
    that indeed has to be earned.
    But sadly is often not earned honestly.
  4. Standard memberkaroly aczel
    the Devil himself
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    11 Mar '10 09:46
    Originally posted by Zahlanzi
    i think what you are thinking of is politeness. the "not being rude from the start with someone"

    respect is when you trully trust someone, their opinion matters to you, and you generally think of them as someone worth having around.

    that indeed has to be earned.
    No. I give them true respect, however I do get vibes from people that know I shouldn't trust .
    I dont know if you know of the bhuddist story where he was approached from behind by a mss murderer. Just as this guy was about to attack, the bhudda turned and saw this guys 'humanity' or rather his good points. The murderer was converted on the spot. There is no fear in facing death and a lot of good can come from trusting people .
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    11 Mar '10 10:48
    Originally posted by twhitehead
    But sadly is often not earned honestly.
    earned and kept.

    this clause should take care of any dishonesty.
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    11 Mar '10 10:52
    Originally posted by karoly aczel
    No. I give them true respect, however I do get vibes from people that know I shouldn't trust .
    I dont know if you know of the bhuddist story where he was approached from behind by a mss murderer. Just as this guy was about to attack, the bhudda turned and saw this guys 'humanity' or rather his good points. The murderer was converted on the spot. There is no fear in facing death and a lot of good can come from trusting people .
    on what can you possible base said respect? it's not like you can assume the person you are talking to is a renown doctor or teacher or someone worthy of respect until you get to know them?

    how do you know he is not a murderer? or someone so dull he would make you fall asleep if he would tell you 5 minutes of his life? or a retard?



    you are not the buddha. and not jesus. you don't have an instant glimpse into the souls of your peers. so your respect needs to be earned.

    or maybe you and me don't have the same definition for respect. i told you i believe your "genuine respect" is true respect in the same way love at first sight is true love.
  7. Standard memberkaroly aczel
    the Devil himself
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    11 Mar '10 11:08
    Originally posted by Zahlanzi
    on what can you possible base said respect? it's not like you can assume the person you are talking to is a renown doctor or teacher or someone worthy of respect until you get to know them?

    how do you know he is not a murderer? or someone so dull he would make you fall asleep if he would tell you 5 minutes of his life? or a retard?



    you are not th ...[text shortened]... ve your "genuine respect" is true respect in the same way love at first sight is true love.
    I am not saying its rational, something that seems to be assumed on this forum,ie. rationality.
    Take a chance ,man. Put yourself in harms way on purpose. See what happens.
    I once wlkaed 5kms down the middle of a two lane city road in peak hour traffic. Trippy stuff.
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    11 Mar '10 11:23
    Originally posted by Zahlanzi
    earned and kept.

    this clause should take care of any dishonesty.
    Not necessarily. Many of us go through life respecting people who don't deserve it. We may give that respect due to deception on their part, or more commonly other reasons on our part. For example we usually respect our parents whether they deserve it or not, we often respect 'respectable people' such as priests or judges or people in authority whether they deserve it or not.
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    11 Mar '10 13:40
    Originally posted by twhitehead
    Not necessarily. Many of us go through life respecting people who don't deserve it. We may give that respect due to deception on their part, or more commonly other reasons on our part. For example we usually respect our parents whether they deserve it or not, we often respect 'respectable people' such as priests or judges or people in authority whether they deserve it or not.
    i am not considering faults in reasoning process. sure, what you are saying is often true, but we are talking about what should be and what we should strive for, not what is.

    respecting someone not deserving of respect is really counter-productive and often quite harmful. it enables persons such as priests or judges to be abusive or simply not work for the respect because they feel entitled to it simply because of their stature. it leads to stagnation or even regress.

    priests, judges, our parents, etc deserve what i told karoly: politeness. it is good manners to call a judge sir (and might keep you out of jail) but nobody says a corrupt or bad judge should be respected or emulated
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    11 Mar '10 13:48
    Originally posted by karoly aczel
    I am not saying its rational, something that seems to be assumed on this forum,ie. rationality.
    Take a chance ,man. Put yourself in harms way on purpose. See what happens.
    I once wlkaed 5kms down the middle of a two lane city road in peak hour traffic. Trippy stuff.
    risks for risk's sake are meaningless and illogical.

    reason doesn't mean devoid of emotions. you may rationalize something and still feel love, hurt, disappointment, happiness and so on. but most processes should be gradual. you don't make a statue for a judge you know nothing about, you don't learn quantum physics before learning arithmetics and you don't fall in love before getting to know the person.

    you should take risks. but calculated risks. consider the consequences. the benefits. the fallout in case the risk doesn't pay.
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    11 Mar '10 14:11
    Originally posted by karoly aczel
    It has been put that respect needs to be earned.
    I been thinking about this for years. I actually respect people automatically and give them a chance to prove it. I guess this line of reasoning comes from my spiritual orientation. After all, what is there to lose? Cause there is sure a lot to be gained.
    Do yous know what I'm getting at?
    (Of course I ...[text shortened]... style. I'm always going to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise)
    A Christian author, James Dobson, came out with an interesting book about love. He made the arguement that to love someone you must first show them a certain degree of respect. Without this respect, showing any degree of love is not possible. At the very least, we are all made in the image of God and should receive a certain degree of respect.
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    11 Mar '10 21:272 edits
    Originally posted by whodey
    A Christian author, James Dobson, came out with an interesting book about love. He made the arguement that to love someone you must first show them a certain degree of respect. Without this respect, showing any degree of love is not possible. At the very least, we are all made in the image of God and should receive a certain degree of respect.
    Yeah, but Christians are a queer bunch --- they think it's OK to love and respect their enemies, let alone those lacking in talent or social graces. Their opinion on this matter, therefore, cannot be trusted. 😉
  13. Standard memberkaroly aczel
    the Devil himself
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    11 Mar '10 23:59
    Originally posted by Zahlanzi
    risks for risk's sake are meaningless and illogical.

    reason doesn't mean devoid of emotions. you may rationalize something and still feel love, hurt, disappointment, happiness and so on. but most processes should be gradual. you don't make a statue for a judge you know nothing about, you don't learn quantum physics before learning arithmetics and you do ...[text shortened]... risks. consider the consequences. the benefits. the fallout in case the risk doesn't pay.
    Yes , calculated risks, most definately.I agree with you there
    But this particurlar example was like I was possesed or something. On the surface it may have seemed like risk just for risks sake, but looking back on it I guess I disrupted the usual 9 to 5 operations of our common city folk. The amazing thing was I didn't get arrested or even honked at! True story.
  14. Standard memberkaroly aczel
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    12 Mar '10 00:03
    Originally posted by epiphinehas
    Yeah, but Christians are a queer bunch --- they think it's OK to love and respect their enemies, let alone those lacking in talent or social graces. Their opinion on this matter, therefore, cannot be trusted. 😉
    I am so desperate for money I have to work with an enemy. (This is someone I gave respect to and he lost it through his actions and especially disrespect for me)
    So loving your enemy is one thing but but actually having to spend eight hours a day working with them really puts the ol' "love your enemies" shtick to the test. Yeah?
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    12 Mar '10 04:28
    Originally posted by karoly aczel
    I am so desperate for money I have to work with an enemy. (This is someone I gave respect to and he lost it through his actions and especially disrespect for me)
    So loving your enemy is one thing but but actually having to spend eight hours a day working with them really puts the ol' "love your enemies" shtick to the test. Yeah?
    I think we have all been there. In fact, one coworker of mine came at me with everything she had but I did not render evil for evil. As painful as it was, I tunred the other cheek. And guess what, to make a long story short she buried the hatchet one day and made peace wth me. I can't say this has worked every time, but at least you have a fighting chance for a desirable outcome.
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