An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. The monster then opened its mouth while waiting below to swallow man and boat. As the man sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!" Suddenly, the scene froze in place. As the atheist hung in midair, a booming voice came out of the clouds and said, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!" "God, come on, give me a break!" the man pleaded, "Just seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!" "Well," said God, "now that you are a believer you must understand that I won't work miracles to snatch you from certain death in the jaws of the monster, but I can change hearts. What would you have me do?" The atheist thinks for a minute and then says, "God, please have the Loch Ness Monster believe in You also." God replies, "So be it." The scene starts in motion again with the atheist falling towards the ravenous jaws of the ferocious beast. Then the Loch Ness Monster folds his claws together and says, "Lord, bless this food You have so graciously provided....."
An Christain was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. The monster then opened its mouth while waiting below to swallow man and boat. As the man sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!". Alas he promptly fell into the jaws of the lochness monster and was eaten.
the end🙁
Originally posted by Jay PeateaYou silly goose, that's not the end...let me finish it for you.
An Christain was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. The monster then opened its mouth while waiting below to swallow man and boat. As the man sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of t ...[text shortened]... lp me!". Alas he promptly fell into the jaws of the lochness monster and was eaten.
the end🙁
...and promptly woke up at the ressurection of the saints at the 2nd coming of Jesus.
The end.
Originally posted by RBHILLNot true, Satan is one of gods top employees! looking after the souls of the damned is an important job, it needs somebody with flair, skill & ability. I expect god would have given Jesus the job if he hadn't have screwed up on the earth and gone and got himself crucified by the romans. 🙂
All I see is Satan trying to copy, that is all he does.
Originally posted by telerionOnly part time, the real Satan had to go on maternity leave Something about the chosen one etc..... Still Mr RB better be careful what he say about me or else I'll get out my voodoo doll and chuck it at him!
Hey, Jay, you're Satan? Good to meet you.
I've got my eye on you Mr RB 😉
Originally posted by RBHILLBeen to a christian bookstore lately, Mr. Hill?
All I see is Satan trying to copy, that is all he does.
They've got some rather clever T-shirts. Perhaps you can recognize where they got the slogans:
"Built LORD tough"
"BudWiseUp - His blood's for you"
I wish I could remember more, but you get the idea.
Originally posted by DarfiusWell, I'm sort of partial to the story of Jonah where there is a deeper lesson about faith, self-righteousness, and attitudes.
You silly goose, that's not the end...let me finish it for you.
...and promptly woke up at the ressurection of the saints at the 2nd coming of Jesus.
The end.
Originally posted by Jay PeateaSatan doesn't even care about the lost.
Not true, Satan is one of gods top employees! looking after the souls of the damned is an important job, it needs somebody with flair, skill & ability. I expect god would have given Jesus the job if he hadn't have screwed up on the earth and gone and got himself crucified by the romans. 🙂
Originally posted by rwingettNot in the connotative sense of the title, but in the denotative. Antichrist really means "against Christ." THE Antichrist is just a popular name for the "prince to come". I guess one could call him the "little horn" to distinguish him from other antichrists. Also, he gets a capital A, not for respect, but to distingush.
Everyone who is not a christian is an anti-christ? Am I hearing this correctly?
Satan has had Antichrist prototypes prepared in each generation, in case the end times began. Nero, Antiochus, Hitler...all Antichrist's in waiting. There's one alive today, waiting for his master to give him the OK.
Originally posted by DarfiusSo all Hindus are "denotative" antichrists? And Buddhists? And everyone else who isn't a christian? Is that correct?
Not in the connotative sense of the title, but in the denotative. Antichrist really means "against Christ." THE Antichrist is just a popular name for the "prince to come". I guess one could call him the "little horn" to distinguish him from other antichrists. Also, he gets a capital A, not for respect, but to distingush.
Satan has had Antichrist ...[text shortened]... Antichrist's in waiting. There's one alive today, waiting for his master to give him the OK.