Originally posted by Great King Rat
Ah, sorry for this bit of nonsense. I used a "random rant generator" to create the bollocks in the OP (http://www.pakin.org/complaint), where I used "the church" as the company/organization and selected three paragraphs.
Thought I'd give this little gem a try, and here's what I got:
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When I used to hear about illiterate students graduating from school, I often wondered how that was possible. But after encountering some of Mr. Jesus H. Christ's more costive sermons, I now realize that not only is it possible for people to graduate without having learned fundamental skills such as reading and writing, but that it's possible for these same people to believe that everyone who fails to think and act in strict accordance with Mr. Christ's requirements is a vilipensive bourgeoisie. Before I get moving here, let me point out that Mr. Christ plans to pervert human instincts by suppressing natural, feral constraints and encouraging abnormal patterns of behavior. He has instructed his famuli not to discuss this or even admit to his plan's existence. Obviously, Mr. Christ knows he has something to hide.
There's no shortage of sin in the world today. It's been around since the Garden of Eden and will undeniably persist as long as Mr. Christ continues to sanctify his depravity. His ability to capitalize on the economic chaos, racial tensions, and social discontent of the current historical moment can be explained in large part by the following. I plan to do what needs to be done. Are you with me—or against me? Whatever you decide, what I have been writing up to this point is not what I initially intended to write in this letter. Instead, I decided it would be far more productive to tell you that I once read an article about how Mr. Christ wants nothing less than to belittle all fine social standards. It was the powerful and long-lingering momentum of the impressions received on that occasion, more than any other circumstance, that gave definite form and resolution to my purpose of opening students' eyes, minds, hearts, and souls to the world around them.
Just because I understand Mr. Christ's reports doesn't mean I agree with them. Mr. Christ insists that he has no choice but to weaken family ties. His reasoning is that his decisions are based on reason. Yes, I realize that that argument makes no sense, but Mr. Christ has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter. According to the latest scientific evidence, I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how he who pays the piper calls the tune. With that in mind, I did a little research to find where Mr. Christ gets his money. It turns out that it comes primarily from juvenile gossipmongers, worthless, grotesque sensualists, and—you guessed it—impudent, crude oniomaniacs. This explains why Mr. Christ's spin doctors get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with Mr. Christ, and meeting some other unforgiving buffoons is merely a social event. They're not even aware that it's possible that Mr. Christ's belief systems defy common sense. However, I cannot speculate about that possibility here because I need to devote more space to a description of how Mr. Christ makes it his job to promote, foster, and institute Marxism. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further. I'll end this letter with a personal invitation to Mr. Jesus H. Christ himself: If you care to respond to what I wrote, please do, especially if you think that I am being inaccurate or unfair. I do not wish to misrepresent you in any way whatsoever. Pax vobiscum.
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Something tells me that a lot of people oughtta start using this tool in the spirituality forums.
After all... who actually
reads with care what others are saying?
🙂
The church
11 Jun '14 07:38
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