Toxic positivity: when happiness becomes harmful
"All in the Mind" podcast/transcript: https://tinyurl.com/mu3b9w9n
"We're urged to stay positive and keep up a cheerful disposition ... but sometimes things are just awful, aren’t they? Why do we engage in toxic positivity and why is it so damaging when we do? Could something called 'tragic optimism' could be the antidote?"
Thoughts?
19 Feb 22
@fmf saidThat's a very difficult one to answer due to the fact that no two people think exactly alike. Person #1 may prefer to think positively, believing that will somehow affect what happens to them, person #2 may prefer not to get their hopes up, and when something positive does happen they see it as an unexpected bonus.
Toxic positivity: when happiness becomes harmful
"All in the Mind" podcast/transcript: https://tinyurl.com/mu3b9w9n
"We're urged to stay positive and keep up a cheerful disposition ... but sometimes things are just awful, aren’t they? Why do we engage in toxic positivity and why is it so damaging when we do? Could something called 'tragic optimism' could be the antidote?"
Thoughts?
19 Feb 22
@mchill saidThe podcast is about stuff like where Person #1 [who exudes positive bravado] hits Person #2 [who prefers not to get their hopes up and perhaps be realistic] with a positivity that is actually experienced as a kind of toxic pressure.
That's a very difficult one to answer due to the fact that no two people think exactly alike. Person #1 may prefer to think positively, believing that will somehow affect what happens to them, person #2 may prefer not to get their hopes up, and when something positive does happen they see it as an unexpected bonus.
19 Feb 22
relentlessly optimistic can seem oblivious to reality
i tend to disagree with the toxic label, one who prefers to view the world/events realistically instead of flowers and sunshine does not have to share in a worldview of the flowers and sunshine crew
i separate myself from extremes at either end
19 Feb 22
@fmf saidI listened for about 20 seconds and realized it was cluttering clatter.
Toxic positivity: when happiness becomes harmful
"All in the Mind" podcast/transcript: https://tinyurl.com/mu3b9w9n
"We're urged to stay positive and keep up a cheerful disposition ... but sometimes things are just awful, aren’t they? Why do we engage in toxic positivity and why is it so damaging when we do? Could something called 'tragic optimism' could be the antidote?"
Thoughts?
How can you subject yourself to it?
19 Feb 22
@fmf saidYou can have joy amid pain and suffering if your happiness isn't found by simply the things you are going through in this life alone. Even being happy amid great joy can cause some to falter, losing sight of essential things in life. I don't know who said this first; victories that cause us to be arrogant are worse than failures that make us humble. We pick and choose our battles, choose what we call victories, and wherever our heart is, there is our treasure.
Toxic positivity: when happiness becomes harmful
"All in the Mind" podcast/transcript: https://tinyurl.com/mu3b9w9n
"We're urged to stay positive and keep up a cheerful disposition ... but sometimes things are just awful, aren’t they? Why do we engage in toxic positivity and why is it so damaging when we do? Could something called 'tragic optimism' could be the antidote?"
Thoughts?
@kellyjay saidIs this about the content of the podcast?
You can have joy amid pain and suffering if your happiness isn't found by simply the things you are going through in this life alone. Even being happy amid great joy can cause some to falter, losing sight of essential things in life. I don't know who said this first; victories that cause us to be arrogant are worse than failures that make us humble. We pick and choose our battles, choose what we call victories, and wherever our heart is, there is our treasure.
19 Feb 22
@fmf saidI didn't watch it, but I did read the text.
Is this about the content of the podcast?
I agree putting a false face on what we are going through is harmful. Reality doesn't change no matter how we try to dress it up in our minds. I think we can tell ourselves all kinds of things, even try to make-believe what we know is not true in an attempt to hang on, trying to make sense of it all.
You know I'm a Christian have been for over 40 years now; during that time, we lost our first child. I believe I have shared that here before, too, nothing new. Positive thinking wouldn't have changed things; she had a rare heart defect. The doctors told us that they could not go to the books for what was going on with her, everything that happened they were writing the book.
She passed 13 days after her first birthday after we went to a group for parents that lost children; it was encouraging and enraging because of some of the things said. The worst, in my opinion, came from some in a church they attended, "If you only had a little more faith, she wouldn't have died." I still get angry thinking about that, but it is the same thing without God involved; be positive, it will work out.
Many people who said things were all doing so with some hope of lessening the pain and fear, but they were not helping. Some things said not only didn't take away the pain, but it also made it worse, the same with fear of what could occur. I realized they wanted to help, make us feel better and were trying, but the reality was we ended up having to give them grace for saying things that could have just caused us to blow up in their faces.
I think the one thing that we can do is just be there for someone going through a bad thing. I don't remember a lot of the things said to me back then over 30 years ago, but I remember the hugs and tears where they were there with us sharing our pain.
@kellyjay saidIt makes me angry and I wasn’t even there! These people are arrogant ignorant morons. Some so-called Christians make my blood boil and I’m not surprised you still get angry; maybe a good punch on the nose of the leader then would have helped.
The worst, in my opinion, came from some in a church they attended, "If you only had a little more faith, she wouldn't have died." I still get angry thinking about that, but it is the same thing without God involved; be positive, it will work out.
I hope you’ve come to terms with the loss and the spirit of the Lord has been a comfort to you.
@kellyjay saidNo they weren’t KellyJay, they were dumping on you. Dumping their pride and spiritual superiority on a bereaved couple.
Many people who said things were all doing so with some hope of lessening the pain and fear, but they were not helping.
“If only you had more faith”…!!!!
It makes my blood boil it really does. “christianity”, with a small ‘c’, what a crock.
20 Feb 22
@divegeester said"If only you had more faith".
No they weren’t KellyJay, they were dumping on you. Dumping their pride and spiritual superiority on a bereaved couple.
“If only you had more faith”…!!!!
It makes my blood boil it really does. “christianity”, with a small ‘c’, what a crock.
Who do they think they are? They'll answer for that.