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@kellyjay saidThis is a heartbreaking story that I recall you sharing before. It would be ghastly to refer to the gobsmacking reproach of "If you only had a little more faith, she wouldn't have died" as "positivity".
She passed 13 days after her first birthday after we went to a group for parents that lost children; it was encouraging and enraging because of some of the things said. The worst, in my opinion, came from some in a church they attended, "If you only had a little more faith, she wouldn't have died." I still get angry thinking about that, but it is the same thing without God involved; be positive, it will work out.
But the incident certainly is related in a way to the "toxic positivity" described in the podcast because faith OUGHT to be source of positive thinking and hope rather than a kind of sneering doubleplusgoodthink stick with which to beat you at your time of tragedy.
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@fmf saidExcerpt:
"All in the Mind" podcast/transcript: https://tinyurl.com/mu3b9w9n
Sana Qadar: When things are going wrong in our lives, there are certain platitudes that people tend to say which are perhaps meant to be helpful but often aren't.
Jessica Mead: [Lecturer in Social Psychology at the University of Swansea] You always have those people who say it could always be worse.
Sana Qadar: Errr…great?
Ceara Rickard: You know, everything happens for a reason…
Sana Qadar: That one is a personal pet peeve.
Anna: Okay, but what can we be learning from this?
Sana Qadar: A helpful refrain later down the track but not as a first response.
Ceara Rickard: Oh, it's all in your attitude, you have to have hope, you have to be a fighter.
Sana Qadar: That last one, if you've had an illness or cared for someone who has, you know that sentiment can be especially awful. But these statements aren't just irritating, they can really chip away at our sense of what is an acceptable way to feel.
Jaime: So many people are reflecting back to you these kinds of statements, you just learn it's not safe to express those feelings, it's not okay to talk about how you are feeling sad.
Ceara Rickard: And they are telling me that if I'm just positive enough, that cancer won't kill me. Really? You know, it's absolutely pathetic.
Sana Qadar: There's a term for these kinds of comments and the attitude they push, it's 'toxic positivity'.
Bastian: [Professor of Social Psychology from the University of Melbourne] You know, it's about the idea to be positive all time, to maintain positive thoughts, a certain level of positive emotionality. And really in some ways it's not so much about that desire to be happy or even for other people to want us to be happy, that's actually quite a good thing, it's when it becomes at that level where failing to achieve that at some point (and inevitably we all do) feels like we are failing to achieve some sort of important social standard.
@josephw said20 seconds?
I listened for about 20 seconds and realized it was cluttering clatter.
This is what you heard:
Announcer: This is an ABC podcast.
Sana Qadar: When things are going wrong in our lives, there are certain platitudes that people tend to say which are perhaps meant to be...
That was all.
In fact, the documentary is about how toxic positivity can sometimes rob people of healthy emotional expression. And this is a worthy and thought-provoking topic. You should have considered not posting on this thread. You have made a fool of yourself, josephw.
@fmf saidOk. Maybe it was more like a minute.
20 seconds?
This is what you heard:
Announcer: This is an ABC podcast.
Sana Qadar: When things are going wrong in our lives, there are certain platitudes that people tend to say which are perhaps meant to be...
That was all.
In fact, the documentary is about how toxic positivity can sometimes rob people of healthy emotional expression. And this ...[text shortened]... c. You should have considered not posting on this thread. You have made a fool of yourself, josephw.
