1. Standard memberwindmill
    your king.
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    07 Oct '05 09:44
    I tried looking in my pocket but I forgot it.I looked in my shoe but all I found was my foot.I asked a man walking down the road and he pointed to the sky."How do I get up there"I asked."I don't know"he replied.So I got a ladder but it wasn't long enough.I tried jumping up really high but all I found was a sore foot as I forgot to put my shoe back on.Where is heaven....someone please explain.Also can you go surfing there?
  2. Standard memberDavid C
    Flamenco Sketches
    Spain, in spirit
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    07 Oct '05 09:46
    Originally posted by windmill
    I tried looking in my pocket but I forgot it.I looked in my shoe but all I found was my foot.I asked a man walking down the road and he pointed to the sky."How do I get up there"I asked."I don't know"he replied.So I got a ladder but it wasn't long enough.I tried jumping up really high but all I found was a sore foot as I forgot to put my shoe back on.Where is heaven....someone please explain.Also can you go surfing there?
    Silly Kiwi...the question is "How far is Heaven?"
  3. Standard memberwindmill
    your king.
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    07 Oct '05 09:56
    Originally posted by David C
    Silly Kiwi...the question is "How far is Heaven?"
    Yes....and how long is the beach?Anyone know?
  4. Hamelin: RAT-free
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    07 Oct '05 10:06
    Originally posted by windmill
    Yes....and how long is the beach?Anyone know?
    Colors to a man born blind...
  5. Standard memberwindmill
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    07 Oct '05 11:33
    Originally posted by RatX
    Colors to a man born blind...
    ...are usually quite pretty.We both know that.But where is heaven?Could you be kind enough to show me the way.Does anyone know?
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    07 Oct '05 13:51
    Originally posted by windmill
    ...are usually quite pretty.We both know that.But where is heaven?Could you be kind enough to show me the way.Does anyone know?
    No one but God can show you the way. Pray and ask Him, and you shall receive.
  7. Colorado
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    07 Oct '05 14:10
    "The kingdom of Heaven lies within" grasshopper.
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    07 Oct '05 14:131 edit
    Originally posted by Nicolaas
    No one but God can show you the way. Pray and ask Him, and you shall receive.
    Transcript of an actual conversation I had minutes ago:

    darvlay: Hey God, where is Heaven?
    God: (silence)
    darvlay: Hellllllo?
    God: (silence)

    It seems you were wrong, nicolass. Again.
  9. London
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    07 Oct '05 14:22
    Originally posted by darvlay
    Transcript of an actual conversation I had minutes ago:

    darvlay: Hey God, where is Heaven?
    God: (silence)
    darvlay: Hellllllo?
    God: (silence)

    It seems you were wrong, nicolass. Again.
    Wrong question. Heaven is not a "where" but a "what".

    Try again.
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    07 Oct '05 14:28
    Originally posted by darvlay
    Transcript of an actual conversation I had minutes ago:

    darvlay: Hey God, where is Heaven?
    God: (silence)
    darvlay: Hellllllo?
    God: (silence)

    It seems you were wrong, nicolass. Again.
    So if you talked to Him, did you really believe He was there?
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    07 Oct '05 14:29
    If not, how do you expect Him to answer?
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    07 Oct '05 14:34
    Originally posted by lucifershammer
    Wrong question. Heaven is not a "where" but a "what".

    Try again.
    Okay, I took your advice and tried again:

    darvlay: God, it's me again. I meant to say "What is Heaven?"
    God: (silence)
    darvlay: Oh, forget it.

    Are you guys having any better luck than me at this? What am I doing wrong?
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    07 Oct '05 14:361 edit
    Originally posted by Nicolaas
    So if you talked to Him, did you really believe He was there?
    I gave him the benefit of the doubt for those moments. It didn't seem to matter. Apparently I must have an unwavering belief in his existence before I get any of his cool superpowers. Is that right?

    Superpowers - i.e. Talking to the almighty God himself, having him favour me in granting my needs over the billions of underpriveleged, starving and dying people on Earth, the ability to move mountains and accomplish anything, etc.
  14. London
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    07 Oct '05 14:551 edit
    Originally posted by darvlay
    Okay, I took your advice and tried again:

    darvlay: God, it's me again. I meant to say "What is Heaven?"
    God: (silence)
    darvlay: Oh, forget it.

    Are you guys having any better luck than me at this? What am I doing wrong?
    Not much (except maybe a tad too much impatience).

    What you did just now was to talk to God as a person, communed with Him. That's what Heaven is all about - only infinitely more magnified (a perfect communion with God).

    And God was not silent - He sent Nicolaas and me, didn't He? 🙂
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    07 Oct '05 15:181 edit
    Originally posted by lucifershammer
    And God was not silent - He sent Nicolaas and me, didn't He? 🙂
    He did?! God must not be very smart to have sent that bumpkin Nicolass to speak on his behalf. Does he often send subordinates on fool's missions? 😛
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