Originally posted by Pianoman1
Food for thought. Thank you.
Sometimes when I perform, I am not there. The music seems to play itself out of my fingers. But then my small self clamours for attention, I come to and the playing is not so good. When I am not there, who is playing? If not me, who? Is it my interpretation? If not, whose? When my small self asserts itself, whose interpretat ...[text shortened]... wallows on the expression of the music - I need him!
Please forgive so many eager questions!
As I see it and describe it, others will describe it differently.
All will be verbally limited, but have some helpful pointers. But as with your best music -as if it is playing through you (very zen) - to stop and describe it is immediately to destroy the moment of being lost, suspended "somewhere".
The constructed small self could perhaps be seen as a 'companion' of the Indescribable, Source without an edge - a functional and highly individuated MEANS of manifestation/experiencing/living. A well tuned "small self" will save us from lions or speeding cars, and help make us a good musician, or grandfather. But it is my experience that our BEST fighting, running, writing,and playing will be when "you" "zenzone". It is then that we "verb", rather than encase ourselves in a noun, a label. I think we are best helped by treating our "self" label lightly, think of it as "self-ing".
It appears to me that we are helped also by giving up trying to directly describe "That". You just cant. Rather it appears an oblique approach is best to "catch a glimpse". Subtle, quiet, ready, open, awaiting a "happening".
How can we describe that which has no center, or which everywhere is it's center, that which is without boundaries?
Appearing empty, yet infinitely potent, full.
"The way that can be described is not the unbounded Way" (Tao Te Ching, 1:1)
The "small self" is a conditional one. It is a sense of having this inner source, a "spot" somewhere in us that it comes from. There is this "cloud" of living activity, sensations, interpretations, like a plasmic unity, yet no centre, and hard also to define any edge or boundary. These qualities are a reflection of its Source. And these days, as with quantum physics, psychologists are telling us the same (as if it was something new!). This sense of 'a self' is a construction, one by which we as an organism live, survive, produce (and play beautiful music).
It is vital in all senses of the word for living in our conditioned existence.
I was going to say 'we use it...', but really "an awareness" experiences and somehow participates, but that "gnosis" is not locatable, (yet you are "it" right now) - and especially if we go looking for it, because, that for which we are searching is "THAT" doing the searching. May as well try and look at your own eye (without a mirror!).
Koans and meditation are used to stymie our ceaseless-usual-conditioned responses. To STOP still and simply OPEN.
Using fully acknowledged mythic images helps for others, helps by moving us from the analytical towards the poetic, a most suitable language (as with music) of mystery, wonder and heart.
Do you perhaps have any internet place where your playing may be heard?
Cheers, Pianoman1
Your Natural Condition
07 May '12 04:30
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