Music and musician jokes

oh, one more:


What's the latest crime wave in New York City?
Drive-by viola recitals.

Originally posted by darvlay
How do you get a bass player off your front step?

Pay for the pizza.

Must be a fellow bass player
What is the difference between a supreme pizza and a bass player?
The pizza can feed a family of four

how many country bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
One Five One Five One Five

What do you throw a drowning lead guitarist?
his amp

How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
one, the singer holds the light bulb and the world revolves around him.

LOL. Good ones.

Alright, you in the bank, this is a holdup, if you don't give me your money, I swear I will play my accordian....

Originally posted by darvlay
You really botched that one up.

What do you expect? I'm a guitar player....

An accordianist was on his way home from a gig, but he had to make a quick stop to pick up some milk at the convenience store. So he pulled up his car to the parking spot right in front of the store. As he got out, he was concerned about someone stealing his accordian which was in the back seat, but since he was only going to be gone for a couple of minutes, he figured locking the car was safe enough. However, as he came out of the store he was shocked to see the window of his car smashed in. Hurrying over to his car, he looked in and now there were two accordians in the back seat!

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

You only need to punch the information in to the drum machine once.

Originally posted by StTito
What do you throw a drowning lead guitarist?
his amp

How do you save a lead guitarist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

Originally posted by StTito
How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
one, the singer holds the light bulb and the world revolves around him.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How do you get a guitar player to turn down? Put a chart in front of him.

How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb?
3, one to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room starts spinning.

What came before the tuba? the oneba

Q: How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune?
A: Shoot one of them.