Originally posted by SiversmithNo matter how pure you try to be. Once you find a girl who loves you like you love her and you both share the same values, it will be awfully hard to keep your hands (or lips) off of her. And i don't think God would mind if the two of you date or kiss or hold hands or anything like that. To remain abstinent is one thing but to deprive yourself of expressing emotion at all in a seemingly loving relationship is not a healthy precursor to marriage AT ALL. Where does is say that expressing love for and having fun with someone you care about is a sinful thing? Love and Romance is nothing to be ashamed about nor should it be something you suppress.
To make myself clear on dating. I meant, dating as in going out with a girl for lunch or so. When I was thirteen, I made a dacision to keep myself pure sexually till the day of marriage. A year and a half later, when I met Christ, I decided to remain absolutely pure, that means dating, kissing and courting is taboo, even holding of hands. It's not that I ...[text shortened]... to your wife later on. When I marry, I want to say to my wife you're the first one! Siversmith
Originally posted by SiversmithWhat about after the day of marriage? Don't U want to be pure after U get married?
When I was thirteen, I made a dacision to keep myself pure sexually till the day of marriage. A year and a half later, when I met Christ, I decided to remain absolutely pure, that means dating, kissing and courting is taboo, even holding of hands. It's not that I deprive myself of fun, but I believe that if you're dating a girl that's God did not mean ...[text shortened]... to your wife later on. When I marry, I want to say to my wife you're the first one! Siversmith
Originally posted by SiversmithSo, how do you deal with the guilt of having consistently impure thoughts about these nubile christian virgins? Are you just constantly praying for forgiveness for committing adultery in your heart? After all, these girls are other mens' future wives!
God calls us to be pure in body, mind and in spirit. When you go out with a girl or boy, can you truly say that your thoughts and actions are pure.
Just these past days I've had a lot of temptations concerning girls. Now there are several girls that are really nice and that one can't but like. But I control myself and ask God, 'Lord how would I know ...[text shortened]... at. So I leave it all up to God and in His time He will reveal to me who He wants to be my wife!
Originally posted by bbarrNever fear, Bennett, as I will soon be starting an Ivory Tower thread on relationships to help young people like this lost soul. There is too much pollution floatin around that needs to be cleaned up. I will count on your expert advice in the future.
So, how do you deal with the guilt of having consistently impure thoughts about these nubile christian virgins? Are you just constantly praying for forgiveness for committing adultery in your heart? After all, these girls are other mens' future wives!
Originally posted by SiversmithSilver, I think it is noble of you to have such morals. Even more so to be able to adhere to them.
God calls us to be pure in body, mind and in spirit. When you go out with a girl or boy, can you truly say that your thoughts and actions are pure.
Just these past days I've had a lot of temptations concerning girls. Now there are several girls that are really nice and that one can't but like. But I control myself and ask God, 'Lord how would I know ...[text shortened]... at. So I leave it all up to God and in His time He will reveal to me who He wants to be my wife!
However, I think that these morals are a creation of man, or society, rather than God. They are there to keep us under strict Puritanical moral laws.
In mmy opinion, sex between two consenting adults is fine. I do not mean that people should jump from bed to bed constantly, but whenm you develop a relationship with someone, sex cna develop that relationship into a stronger bond, which can also lead to marriage. I have been with men prior to meeting ALex, and he has been with other women. This does not affect our relationship at all.
Originally posted by kirksey957I got the feelin' that SilverSmith needs some, uh, sexual healin'.
Never fear, Bennett, as I will soon be starting an Ivory Tower thread on relationships to help young people like this lost soul. There is too much pollution floatin around that needs to be cleaned up. I will count on your expert advice in the future.
Makes you feel so fine
Helps to relieve your mind
Sexual Healing, SilverSmith, is good for you.
😀
Originally posted by elvendreamgirlThese morals are not instituted by man. In Romans (a book in the Bible) it speaks of refraining from sexual immorality. Now, the greek word that was translated is 'pornea', and this word refers to sexual immorality, kissing, holding of hands, or any physical contact. Of course it doesn't mean that you can't greet a girl or boy by shaking hands. But anything beyond that that rouses your senses, would not be living in the Spirit, as God called for us to do.
Silver, I think it is noble of you to have such morals. Even more so to be able to adhere to them.
However, I think that these morals are a creation of man, or society, rather than God. They are there to keep us under strict Puritanical moral laws.
In mmy opinion, sex between two consenting adults is fine. I do not mean that people should jump fro ...[text shortened]... o meeting ALex, and he has been with other women. This does not affect our relationship at all.
Also, I don't think that it is within the power of any man or woman to live such a life of purity in his own strenght or by his own decision. Thus it can only be a calling from God. Then, I don't believe that having a relationship with other men won't affect your relationship with your real spouse. I would never want my wife to be with someone else.
I do not deprive myself of fun. In fact, I believe that I have more joy than most young people that flirt around. I do not live with a guilty conscience, my college work is not affected by it, my grades are good, I do well in sport and I have very special friends that would do anything for me and I for them too. I really do enjoy my life and would not exchange it for any other.
Originally posted by bbarrI do not constantly have these guilty thoughts. Paul, one of the apostles writes that we should take every thought captive. This is only possible with the strenght of the Lord. Once the temptation comes up, I take it and put it aside. I do not brood over it. When I first became a Christian and decided to follow God wholeheartedly, it was really tough, and I stumbled many times; because I tried myself. But as I learned to depend on God to help me I became more and more victorious. I do not say that I never stumble but if I do I confess it and resolve by the grace of God never to do it again. In Christ, one can live a life of such a high standard.
So, how do you deal with the guilt of having consistently impure thoughts about these nubile christian virgins? Are you just constantly praying for forgiveness for committing adultery in your heart? After all, these girls are other mens' future wives!
I personally know many many young people that walked this way, and that got married. I do not know of one of them that got divorced.
How can you have a meaningful relationship with someone if you don't meet them on every level, spiritual, mental and physical? Surely that's doing them a disservice. We are sensory beings, we flirt, touch, glance, smell and taste each other from time to time and there's a very simple reason for this. It's a way of chosing the right person. It's hard enough to know if the person you want is the person you are going to be with anyway, let alone if you remove the physicality of a relationship. You can't have a complete relationship with someone unless you know them completely. And the idea that you will just know when the time comes which person is the one you are meant to be with is probably gonna leave you lonely and old. I hope you are not sad if this does happen. I think it's a shame you will miss the joys of a healthy relationship in all it's states, but that's up to you. I expect that one of the bonuses to a strong faith (however misguided it is) is the ability to reconcile your situation against anything that might come your way. Lucky you, but I have to say I experience the bad bits and the good bits and I have no blanket of faith, but that's just fine by me, it's one hell of a ride anyway.
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Originally posted by SiversmithAren't you just assuming that kissing, etc. is impure outside of marriage? Why? Plenty of people find it extremely fulfilling. This is a matter of fact, not debate.
God calls us to be pure in body, mind and in spirit. When you go out with a girl or boy, can you truly say that your thoughts and actions are pure.
Just these past days I've had a lot of temptations concerning girls. Now there are sev ...[text shortened]... d and in His time He will reveal to me who He wants to be my wife!
Maybe you're radically mistaken. Maybe you think you are being pure but you aren't really. Isn't that just possible? Maybe those who kiss etc. outside of wedlock are just as pure as you are, maybe even purer.
Why isn't this possible?
In other words, could you not be in danger of flattering yourself about your level of purity on the basis of a misunderstanding about what is needed for purity?
Might it not take a degree of humility to admit that you might not be right about what God thinks is pure, or about what really is pure? Is this humility something your ego could afford?
Or is there a subtle egotistical satisfaction that accompanies certainty as to what God thinks, or what objectively qualifies, as pure? One that enables favourable, flattering comparisons to others? Pride masquerading as self-ascribed virtue?
Originally posted by SiversmithWait a second here...
I do not constantly have these guilty thoughts. Paul, one of the apostles writes that we should take every thought captive. This is only possible with the strenght of the Lord. Once the temptation comes up, I take it and put it aside. I do not brood over it. When I first became a Christian and decided to follow God wholeheartedly, it was really tough, and ...[text shortened]... ple that walked this way, and that got married. I do not know of one of them that got divorced.
Are you telling me that God, the all powerful being that created everything and knows everything and does everything hasn't got anything better to do than go around banning snogging?
Originally posted by StarrmanGod knows her/him through and through, much better than you. Trust Him, He won't make a mistake.
How can you have a meaningful relationship with someone if you don't meet them on every level, spiritual, mental and physical? Surely that's doing them a disservice. We are sensory beings, we flirt, touch, glance, smell and taste each other from time to time and there's a very simple reason for this. It's a way of chosing the right person. It's har ...[text shortened]... nship. You can't have a complete relationship with someone unless you know them completely. .
Also, God made man and woman for each other, He won't deprive you of a wife. He also created sex, but only to be used inside of marriage. He knows the desires of the flesh. Psalm 37:4. And God won't let you grow old before He gives you the girl/boy meant for you(except if He has a special purpose for it, but it's seldom).Why do you want to like the prodigal son take your inheritance from God before He decides to give it.
Better not experiment with girls and end up not having much to give to your real wife.