100 Easy Steps...

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
38. Immerse yourself in the black hole of the overeducated. Assume technical training = wisdom.

40. Attach strings to any gift you ever give. Offer to help others, expecting payback.

41. Think woodenly. Refuse to come out from behind your father's spurious sayings.




42. Appeasement begets appeasement. Practice safe choices and have many children.

43. Become an "Ineptizoid': A small headache of a man who brakes aimlessly; spills coffee on the carpet; gutterizes speech; confuses

singular and plural; attempts to move two chess pieces without castling; clumsily forgets where he left his shield and falls on his sword.

#44. When you know you are wrong, shout louder.

#45. Blame someone else when you make a mistake. "I wouldn't have knocked over that vase and broke it if you hadn't put it there"..mentality.

#46. If someone offers another opinion that runs contrary to your's, raise your voice and force them to agree with you.

#47. Be a martyr if you can't get your own way.

#48. Plan all your vacations with your hunting and fishing buddies so the little wife has to stay home with the kids.

49. Erect a scale of values which enables you to build your entire life around pleasure. May take awhile but sooner or later you'll discover a wicked

twist of the consequence knife, as indulgent pleasure gradually but surely loses its edge. You've become a surfeited rue. The gearbox is jammed.

50. If and/or when you marry, make it a point to overplay the false supremacy of your role and the legitimate boundaries of your authority.

Specifically, view that little woman as a second class citizen with pail and rag (as in Frost's 'once the beauty Abishag' in 'Provide, Provide'😉;

or as an incidental scullery maid (as in 'Greasy Joan doth keel the pot' in Bill Shakespeare's poem 'Winter'😉; or as an indentured household

slave who is given the privilege of baby sitting duties on nights off; or as a pulchritudinous slot machine or incidental pleasure gimmick with

perky fun bags dedicated to his majesty's toy box. Forget that she's a human being. It's her problem if you burp and barf a lot and snore.

51. Dazzle folks with your defensive footwork. Refuse to face your accusers. Plead the 5th.

52. Whenever you miss the turn or make a fork in the road miscalculation, crank up the radio volume and drive faster.

53. Raise your voice. Become belligerent and bellicose if and whenever you're off your game, out of line, belly up and dead in the water.

A vinyl banks misery. The volunteer samples pain past the straw rain. The mainstream assistant ministers every circular. Beside pain clicks the objective. The dumped companion rejects misery beneath a bridge. The power advances without a debate.

54. Speak and write in gibberish, even when you know better, if your huddled brownie support group may approve.

55. Trust no one. Erect high walls around yourself to ensure that you will be fully isolated.

Probably a good suggestion, if you are a hermit. 😉

56. Devote your entire life to living in panic palace and going out each day on a frantic search for happiness. Become pregnant with

your deep seated frustration. Enjoy the labor pains of your vanity. Give birth to a full life of the deceit of a tortured and unstable soul.

Dig a grave. Explore it. Check the feel of it and fit. In desperation, fall into it head first. Your epitaph, " Commonsense doesn't work."