Originally posted by asromacalcioThis is just too sad.
Not only is this true, I think for relationships to actually mean something it HAS to be true, but it's another area where I come undone.
I have this mindset that people don't fancy me. It's not just an opinion it's an inherent belief. The longer any courtship is the more time I have to start doubting, to read something negative into normal situation ...[text shortened]... ce I had and nothing happens at all. But then when did things ever happen quickly for me?
First off you are only what you believe yourself to be. If you believe people aren't attracted to you they won't be. Love has no tolerance for self doubt.
People are attracted to confidence. Even if you have to fake it at first, it'll develop naturally over time and you will emit sexuality through your own self assurance.
But I guess we're talking about two different things because love and sex seem to have nothing to do with each other anymore.
Originally posted by mokkoI stand behind this... You are spot on! I passed this info onto another user some time back, and I have not heard them put themselves down since. If you don't believe in yourself, why should anyone else?
This is just too sad.
First off you are only what you believe yourself to be. If you believe people aren't attracted to you they won't be. Love has no tolerance for self doubt.
People are attracted to confidence. Even if you have to fake it at first, it'll develop naturally over time and you will emit sexuality through your own self assurance.
But ...[text shortened]... wo different things because love and sex seem to have nothing to do with each other anymore.
P-
Originally posted by mokkoSo delusional behaviour is the key to getting chicks?
This is just too sad.
First off you are only what you believe yourself to be. If you believe people aren't attracted to you they won't be. Love has no tolerance for self doubt.
People are attracted to confidence. Even if you have to fake it at first, it'll develop naturally over time and you will emit sexuality through your own self assurance.
But ...[text shortened]... wo different things because love and sex seem to have nothing to do with each other anymore.
Zah?
Originally posted by darvlayIt's not delusional to reprogram negative thinking into positive thinking.
So delusional behaviour is the key to getting chicks?
Zah?
It's a matter of finding the things about yourself that you like and focusing on those qualities instead of constantly picking apart the things you don't like.
I see nothing delusional in that. Negative thoughts produce negative experiences. People as a whole find it much easier to put themselves down rather than lift themselves up.
You have to sell your own abilities by believing in them in order for other people to accept them.
Originally posted by mokkoFair enough. I kind of took it more as a "pretend to be someone you're not" kinda deal, which is obviously not what you were getting at.
It's not delusional to reprogram negative thinking into positive thinking.
It's a matter of finding the things about yourself that you like and focusing on those qualities instead of constantly picking apart the things you don't like.
I see nothing delusional in that. Negative thoughts produce negative experiences. People as a whole find it much easier ...[text shortened]... ave to sell your own abilities by believing in them in order for other people to accept them.
Originally posted by c99uxA shag is what you make of it. It can have significance or it can just be a shag. If you put the emotional tie to it, then it has one. If you don't, then it is all about just having fun. I have gone through both phases in my lifetime.
So, is a shag just a shag?
Is it just a bit of fun? If so, why should it be avoided? And if not, why do some people enjoy it?
Hey, I heard you got proposed to, are you getting married soon...? Shags on demand then, then (except for the periodicals, when you'll need to find an American woman)...
Boiled down...it is what you make it, not what society wants it to be.
Originally posted by PhlabibitI also agree with this. The best way to go about it is to find something...anything that you like about yourself, even if only a little bit (for you fatalists out there...try really hard) and use that as your focal when you are in a social situation. Use it as a mental mantra to boost your confidence. Once the confidence boosts, everything will start to get easier and you will find that you like more about yourself. It is really a domino effect. The hardest part of the process is not to look at every aspect of yourself all at once.
I stand behind this... You are spot on! I passed this info onto another user some time back, and I have not heard them put themselves down since. If you don't believe in yourself, why should anyone else?
P-
Comes back to a phrase that I heard from my parents (but I have no idea of it origins) - "How do you eat an elephant? . . . One bite at a time."
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the further away from western society I am, the more I understand how I never wanted to be a part of it. asromacalcio, if you dont fit dont fight it . there are other places on this earth and I am telling you somewhere you be accepted and happy just the way you are. now it is up to you to find that place. but be warned before you start, societies changes and it is not a slow process. your utopia will eventually and not necessarily slowly or gradually become not to your renewed requirements. but not to worry there are a million more locations/villiages on this earth each evolving at it own pace and in its own direction, a virtual smorgasborg of experiences . somewhere and at some time you will be exstatic. how long it lasts depends entirely on you.