Originally posted by CrowleyDid you also read the part where I said my dad sat my brother and I down after every spanking and discussed it with us?
Do you have children? Talk to me again when you do.
You're twisting my words around to mean something I ever did because you had an abusive father. Did you also read the part where I said my dad sat my brother and I down after every spanking and discussed it with us?
I have amazing respect for the old man, especially after I had children and I see how th ...[text shortened]...
Christ, another pansy-assed Canadian like Rusty. Never thought I'd lump you in that pile.
Yeah I did, but I don't get it.
Spank them
Explain to them why they were spanked
So why the need to spank? If you can adequately do the explaining then why spank at all? Or why not replace spank with something else?
And to be clear, (in case I wasn't already) I don't think my father was abusive in that he was out to hurt us. He just didn't know any better.
Do you have children? Talk to me again when you do.
Nah, I'll pass.
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Originally posted by CrowleyNothing pansy-assed about this Canadian. You can't figure how to bring up your children without hitting them that isn't my fault, that is yours. Hitting is just plain wrong. Most men here in Canada would settle you down very quickly you were striking your kid in public.
Do you have children? Talk to me again when you do.
You're twisting my words around to mean something I ever did because you had an abusive father. Did you also read the part where I said my dad sat my brother and I down after every spanking and discussed it with us?
I have amazing respect for the old man, especially after I had children and I see how th ...[text shortened]...
Christ, another pansy-assed Canadian like Rusty. Never thought I'd lump you in that pile.
All that happens is it goes from generation to generation, teaching that is ok to hit.
Christ even the kids who are abused, are trying to say they were not abused, but at the same time they know they were.
It is a sad state of affairs when a 10 year old has to stand up to his father!
BTW, Yes I am a Dad!
Originally posted by darvlayHe didn't spank first and then talk.
[b]Did you also read the part where I said my dad sat my brother and I down after every spanking and discussed it with us?
Yeah I did, but I don't get it.
Spank them
Explain to them why they were spanked
So why the need to spank? If you can adequately do the explaining then why spank at all? Or why not replace spank with something else?
...[text shortened]... ny better.
Do you have children? Talk to me again when you do.
Nah, I'll pass.[/b]
There was always reasoning or at the very least a few "No! Don't do that!". He also had this 'Look' over the top of his glasses, that meant 'Danger'.
If we continued down the road of naughty, it got down to a spanking.
We knew this and tried to get away with what we could. Taunting, sometimes.
We understood the consequences, but boys will be boys.
I know I won't change anyone's mind here, but at the very least you can agree that a spank on the bum is not always abuse?
Originally posted by duecerThe first article is useless, when you can adequately assess to what end 'asking teenagers if they're more successful' is and what 'successful' constitutes I'll give it some time. As to the second, I'm not sure where the science is in that, there's no data presented, instead it appears to be a report carried out on varying arguments against spanking. That's fine and the arguments are well carried, assuming that the data does exist to support them.
really? read this and think it over: http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20100107/spanking_study_100107/20100107?hub=Health
or this (more scientificerer): http://faculty.biola.edu/paulp/spare_the_rod.htm
I am not saying it is necessarily abuse, like VR, nor am I suggesting it doesn't work (clearly hitting a kid is going to stop xym from doing the action and be likely to prevent xym from doing it again). What I am saying is that it is a poor solution when presented with the alternative of using your brain and avoiding physical contact.
And both Crowley and Sunburnt have demonstrated that they don't do it in the way in which the guidelines suggested you. If one is to assume that hitting is allowed, do any such parents seek guidance on how to do it? If not, what is the point in suggesting that scientific studies support it, when it is not done against any other criteria than what each parent considers to be the right way?
I maintain that hitting is a poor alternative to a difficult process.
Originally posted by CrowleyIn a heartbeat if I saw someone striking their child in public, and it wouldn't be my first time.
LOL, again threatening violence whilst preaching non-violence.
Just leave before you embarrass yourself again. Go steal another kids' toy.
Guess who the police took away? And it wasn't me, just in case you don't get it.
What do you do when the kid looks at you and says: HEY THAT DIDN'T HURT ME????
Originally posted by StarrmanBecause that seems to be the main argument here. Actually, the only argument.
Of course not, but what does that serve? Justification for action?
Spanking = Abuse or leads to abuse
I believe if used correctly, it's a useful parenting tool.
We can never truly say if spankings are good or bad for kids, we all just have opinions. There are studies that indicate both, plus millions of opinions here that indicate both.
Why would I try to justify any of my actions on these forums? I've been here long enough to know that is a futile exercise.
Originally posted by Very RustyGod, what an ass backward country.
In a heartbeat if I saw someone striking their child in public, and it wouldn't be my first time.
Guess who the police took away? And it wasn't me, just in case you don't get it.
What do you do when the kid looks at you and says: HEY THAT DIDN'T HURT ME????
Originally posted by PhlabibitIf my father ever told me that I'd go try to fart in the backyard. I'd also be really confused.
When your father told you to go out back and cut a switch, what was worse?
Walking outside with a knife looking for a proper branch to cut and skin in anticipation of the whup'n you were going to get?
or
The whup'n?
Discuss
I'd probably get gas cramps from the anxiety of trying to fart on demand.
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Originally posted by CrowleyPerhaps your laws will change and catch up with the rest of us!
God, what an ass backward country.
I noticed you have no answer for what happens when the kid tell you:
HEY THAT DIDN'T HURT!!! WHAT THEN???? Give me the answers here, you are always calling me a tard etc., that is the actions of a BULLY, you just don't realize it.
And you mean it when you say it, it is no JOKE.
I pity you in many ways, because you are doing what you were taught...SAD...And around and around it goes.
Originally posted by StarrmanSome people spank their kids for everything.
The first article is useless, when you can adequately assess to what end 'asking teenagers if they're more successful' is and what 'successful' constitutes I'll give it some time. As to the second, I'm not sure where the science is in that, there's no data presented, instead it appears to be a report carried out on varying arguments against spanking. That ...[text shortened]... e right way?
I maintain that hitting is a poor alternative to a difficult process.
Some people hit their kids abusively and out of anger.
Question: do you really think a parent who spanks occasionally isn't a good parent, a smart parent or a parent who uses their brain?
I will tell you this:
My kids? They are emotionally intelligent. Why? Because since they were tiny toddlers, I have talked to them like they were adults. I have always treated my kids like human beings who must understand that there are rules to life, existing, success, responsibility, behavior and consequences. When my kids tell me stories about other kids at school, they give me a keen view of that person's behavior. They also show me that they understand how to deal with what they see on a level that isn't even grasped by most adults. What's more is my children have a very strong sense of their own worth and they show me this time after time.
Can they be themselves at home? Yes. Can they get out of control and have their toddler moments, now, even at ages 8 and 11? Yes. Will my daughter get a smack on her butt once in awhile and a march to her room if she refuses to stop her hormonal drama rants? Yes.
So when we are talking about spanking we are not talking about abuse. We are not. If your opinion is that it somehow hinders good parenting, I disagree. When used with measure for the right reason and timing, it is entirely effective. My children are an example.
It's common sense. I know damn well that anything beyond the spank I have delivered would be overboard. I know what abuse is. Each parent can make their own choice but I think the judgment is too hasty and too black and white.