dear diary

dear diary,

today i nearly corrected the english syntax of a rando on the internet
but
since she was on the correct side of the political argument i typed nary a single pixel

i do not feel successful

Dear Diary,

So many notifications!
But I'm not going to read those posts.
Ignorance is bliss.

dear diary,

that funky ole ring around the tub is back
gotta fetch another jug of vinegar
it's not my fault, honest
i'll fix it

Dear Diary,

Although I've had a few nightmares
in my dreams I usually go along
with things as they are, a silent observer
I'm good at remembering dreams
(I trained myself to do that since I was a teen)
and yeah I dream in color and can almost read, it seems
but last night was the first time
my dream-self said a word.

(I'll keep that word to myself.)

Dear Diary,

Yes, I really do want to delete all notifications.

Let them think that I was the one who burned the bridges.

That would be fine.

dear diary,

jackpot!
i found a carton of eggs at the back of the refrigerator at the store and they let me trade my jeep for it

got mugged walking home and they took my eggs

@rookie54 said
dear diary,

jackpot!
i found a carton of eggs at the back of the refrigerator at the store and they let me trade my jeep for it

got mugged walking home and they took my eggs

@rookie54 said
dear diary,

jackpot!
i found a carton of eggs at the back of the refrigerator at the store and they let me trade my jeep for it

got mugged walking home and they took my eggs

dear diary,

bought a new alarm clock
not that i needed a new one, but this one comes with a guarantee that i'll never hit the snooze

it sounds like a dog about to puke

Dear diary

Stop buying chocolate. If you don't buy chocolate you can't eat chocolate and if you can't eat chocolate then you'll stop getting fat and probably diabetic.


Dear diary

Please disregard the previous diary entry.


Mmmm chocolate.

dear diary,

i needed something new in the rice cooker pot today
bought some crab sticks online
the main selling point was "no refrigeration needed"

sure does smell good

Dear diary,

A frivolous threep
Crept in from the deep
My nocturnal sleep
Did disturb;
Or was it last week?
Memory is perturbed 😫

dear diary,

today i began to realize just how powerful advertising is
i mean,
they almost had me buying a dang ole vacuum cleaner off amazon


dammit that was close

dear diary,

i tried to count syllables inna spronked haiku
i did this counting using a cockney accent, out loud in a resonant tin shack
the dog bit me