Easter brings out the stupid in people.

I had an Easter BBQ with some friends yesterday. Early Saturday morning I went out to load up on beer, steaks, corn, potato salad, the works... The local grocery store had opened just a short time before and was starting to fill up with people. I loaded my cart with enough beer and food to feed a large Mexican family for a month and proceeded to the checkout.

I got to the checkout where an enormously fat woman in a flower print dress was unloading an assortment of fat free ice cream, diet coke, chocolate Easter eggs, marshmallow bunnies and other crap onto the counter. The slightly retarded looking, blonde teenage girl laborously scanned the fat woman's goodies and tossed them carelessly into plastic bags.

As soon as space appeared on the counter, I grabbed a grocery divider and slapped it down behind the fat woman's Easter candy hoard. Larger than usual kind, the divider appeared brand new and made for the season, vibrantly decorated with Easter bunnies, pastel flowers and patterned eggs loudly proclaiming the grocery stores commitment to quality.

The fat woman cheerfully paid her bill and waddled off toward's the parking lot. The girl running the register immediately grabs the grocery divider and attempts to scan it for a price. Several attempts are met with no success at which point she turns to me and, with hand on hip, snorts "Did you see a price on this thing?" I replied, "I sure didn't do you see a bar code on it?" She huffily replied in the negative and I proclaimed,"Perhaps it fell off? You'll need to do a price check on it." This pisses her off to a great degree and she calls over a bag boy, hands him the 'item' and asks me, "Do you even know which isle you found this in?" I advised her that the bag boy would probaly be able to find the item in isle 1 or 2.

While we were waiting for the bag boy to return, the young 'lady' rang up the rest of my stuff. Shortly, the now out of breath bag boy comes back empty handed, unable to find said 'item' or a price. The girl berates him and asks me, "Do you really need this thing?" I assured her that it was a must have item and I desperately needed it regardless of the cost.

Finally, while the line of pissed off people (some of whom are 'in' on the joke) continues to build, a manager shows up to find out what the problem is. I tell him that I've changed my mind and that I no longer want the pastel grocery divider and would like to finish with checking out. The manager checks me out and I leave the baffled and no smarter register attendant still clutching the grocery divider with a vacant look on her face.

Happy Easter to all the retarded mooks out there.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
I had an Easter BBQ with some friends yesterday. Early Saturday morning I went out to load up on beer, steaks, corn, potato salad, the works... The local grocery store had opened just a short time before and was starting to fill up with people. I loaded my cart with enough beer and food to feed a large Mexican family for a month and proceeded to th ...[text shortened]... t look on her face.

Happy Easter to all the retarded mooks out there.

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
Where's the service? Couldn't that manager have been in step with the season, and just give you the divider for free?

I think a follow-up is in order. Next time walking tax credit is working, get in her line with a basket full of the dividers and pour piss on her smoldering attitude.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Perhaps my sarcasm detector has blown a fuse, but, you do realize that the dividers aren't typically for sale right? The grocery store uses them to keep one customer's orders from another.

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
Holy you-know-what, Batman: are you serious? Get that fuse checked into post haste!
Fuse clean up, aisle one. Fuse clean up, aisle one.

That reminds me of a friend of mine who went to eat at a Chinese restuarant. At the conclusion of the meal, the waitress said, "Sir, may I see your car" (Meaning his credit card). He said, "sure" and walked out to the parking lot with her and showed her his car. Lifted the hood. Invited her to get in. She wasn't amused.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
With my weekend, I've found that it never pays to underestimate the level of retardation of the people you are dealing with (Edit:
Plus, its Easter and apparently I am not immune to the stupidity virus). My most sincere apologies and may you be beaten with grocery dividers about the head and neck.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
I had an Easter BBQ with some friends yesterday. Early Saturday morning I went out to load up on beer, steaks, corn, potato salad, the works... The local grocery store had opened just a short time before and was starting to fill up with people. I loaded my cart with enough beer and food to feed a large Mexican family for a month and proceeded to th ...[text shortened]... t look on her face.

Happy Easter to all the retarded mooks out there.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
I had an Easter BBQ with some friends yesterday. Early Saturday morning I went out to load up on beer, steaks, corn, potato salad, the works... The local grocery store had opened just a short time before and was starting to fill up with people. I loaded my cart with enough beer and food to feed a large Mexican family for a month and proceeded to th ...[text shortened]... t look on her face.

Happy Easter to all the retarded mooks out there.

HoH, there are much simpler examples of the ways that Easter brings out the stupidity in people. Why not start with the people who believe that a man who was heavily flogged, nailed to a plank, stabbed in the chest and left in an enclosed tomb for at least a whole Saturday was subsequently strong enough to move a massive rock and ascend to a massive height through the sheer force of his badassery?

What about the people who spend actual money on chocolate rodents, or the stupid impressionable children who, through years of Easter overexposure, are old enough to vote before they realise that rabbits don't lay eggs?

What about the knots of parents who amass an army of their spawn to hunt for poorly-hidden Easter paraphernalia, so that the children learn all about the importance of nasty materialistic competition and begin to aspire to great chocolaty wealth, only to be brought up short by their stupidity and subsequently spend many miserable years getting price checks on things that aren't for sale?

What about the Christians who assuage the guilt stemming from their subconscious knowledge of how deluded they are about Jesus by inventing the Easter bunny, so that their kids are deluded too? No need to feel bad about being stupid if you can trick a four-year-old into being stupider!

Originally posted by royalchicken
HoH, there are much simpler examples of the ways that Easter brings out the stupidity in people. Why not start with the people who believe that a man who was heavily flogged, nailed to a plank, stabbed in the chest and left in an enclosed tomb for at least a whole Saturday was subsequently strong enough to move a massive rock and ascend to a massive he ...[text shortened]... No need to feel bad about being stupid if you can trick a four-year-old into being stupider!

Originally posted by royalchicken
that rabbits don't lay eggs?

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
Wow. That's a lot of pent-up anger that would probably be better served on the couch of a psychologist than here on an open forum. Your distance from reality is only surpassed by your open hostility to obedience.

Originally posted by royalchicken
HoH, there are much simpler examples of the ways that Easter brings out the stupidity in people. Why not start with the people who believe that a man who was heavily flogged, nailed to a plank, stabbed in the chest and left in an enclosed tomb for at least a whole Saturday was subsequently strong enough to move a massive rock and ascend to a massive he ...[text shortened]... No need to feel bad about being stupid if you can trick a four-year-old into being stupider!

Originally posted by adramforall
What do you mean rabbits don't lay eggs?

I though that rabbits would lay just about anything!

🙂