Originally posted by Grampy BobbyElizabeth?
Hey, Big Stees, seems to be coming clear that you have introduced the first person pronoun of the first chapter, central character Doyle
and hero of the novel... perhaps we're discovering an autobiography. If so, our creative work is now crying aloud for an equally charismatic
and thoughtful heroine. Perhaps his lovely girlfriend. Yes? -gb 🙂
It really should be Elizabeth. Auburn hair, with hint of gold. Pale of complexion, slim but unnervingly tall by comparison to Doyle. Utterly his equal, yet subbordinate in a most endearing way?
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Originally posted by PolicestateSo how about recasting those well chosen words to introduce Elizabeth in the next sentence of our narrative...
Elizabeth?
It really should be Elizabeth. Auburn hair, with hint of gold. Pale of complexion, slim but unnervingly tall by comparison to Doyle. Utterly his equal, yet subbordinate in a most endearing way?
34. ______________________________________
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Originally posted by coquetteNice of you to bring Policestate's Lady Elizabeth to the party. Finally
35. but Sheila also knew that she had one other obstacle to "connecting" with Doyle, and that was Elizabeth, that horrid phoney so-called "Queen"
the story is developing a small population, including an antagonist.
🙂
Originally posted by coquette36. Doyle was faced with consuming questions... three of which were "Is there really
35. but Sheila also knew that she had one other obstacle to "connecting" with Doyle, and that was Elizabeth, that horrid phoney so-called "Queen"
a question?" and "If so, must I answer it now?" and "Do I truly love Sheila?"
Originally posted by Grampy Bobby37. Faced with some of the true predicaments of modern life, Doyle decided to spend some of his precious time 'bank' on analysing his options.
36. Doyle was faced with consuming questions... three of which were "Is there really
a question?" and "If so, must I answer it now?" and "Do I truly love Sheila?"
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Originally posted by Lundos38. This reflective approach was somewhat native to the grain for Doyle, who in his other passion for creative
37. Faced with some of the true predicaments of modern life, Doyle decided to spend some of his precious time 'bank' on analysing his options.
writing had learned early on to write hot, refrigerate the draft for a few days before revising cold.
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Originally posted by Grampy Bobby39. Being reflective had a tendancy to make him thirsty, leading him to the fridge where he saw the calendar ... with today's date circled on it!
38. This reflective approach was somewhat native to the grain for Doyle, who in his other passion for creative
writing had learned early on to write hot, refrigerate the draft for a few days before revising cold.
(edited by request, even though I believe the numbering system detracts from the story)
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Originally posted by pawnhandler40. What was it that was so important today?
39. Being reflective had a tendancy to make him thirsty, leading him to the fridge where he saw the calendar ... with today's date circled on it!
(edited by request, even though I believe the numbering system detracts from the story)
(and for the record, I agree with pawnhandler)