Originally posted by tomtom232Assign chores. Give an allowance. Explain that eating too much candy will rot his/her teeth. Why teach children they can get their way with bartering, cajoling and trickery? In world other authority figures (teachers, coaches, policemen) won't indulge your child's attempts to proposition which are an insult. What's important isn't what the child wants but the lessons learned in the process.
No... don't tell your kid he can't have something just tell he can have it "if" he mows the lawn etc.
You could do it without spoiling your child if you could do it at all.
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Ok, this might be a little long winded but I think I am following what you mean.
"Don't" should come with obvious things like "don't" touch hot things, "don't" steal, "don't" hit (thought they do anyway, lol), "don't" cheat, "don't" be an A-hole.
With my kids, and their dad was always on the same parenting page, we were realists with them. We treated them like miniature, intelligent ADULTS from the time they were a year old. Baby talk? GONE. Allowing certain behaviors when we knew they were mature enough to let them go? GONE. We always talked to them in a way we would talk to adults because they deserved such respect and could understand us. I hate when people talk to their six year olds like they're babies. We NEVER told them anything but the truth about people, the world (ok, except the Santa lie, the Easter Bunny lie, etc) and how THINGS ARE. It might have made them a tiny bit cynical but I can see now that they're older, their personalities are more well-rounded than mine was and they are much more aware of themselves and others than I was. And I was!!! If my children are cynical in any way, it means they cast their eyes and minds on a person or a choice a little bit longer than other kids, maybe, because they know life is NOT all butterflies and flowers. More importantly, they seem to have a firm grasp on the fact that many things are out of their control, but that they can have anything they want, if they work for it. Sometimes they truly surprise me with their wisdom and insight. As my daughter seems to say all the time lately, "Mom, GOD, you taught us that already, we KNOW."
Along with that, they have humor that we shared with them throughout, so that there was a balance: don't take yourself too seriously, it's so easy to do. Don't let these things get you down too often, they don't define you. Laugh at people and yourself, because it's all absurd and meant to be enjoyed.
I know what they want to be when they grow up. I told my girls just two weeks ago, during a conversation that I want them to hold on to their dream tightly, don't let the automatic pathway of life distract them from their dream. One wants to write and one wants to study animal biology...I told them, "don't" let anyone or any message get in the way of what you want to do.
The problem with kids these days is that they're fed a bunch of information about expectations they must meet that in the end, are not important at all to living life happily.
And my kids still grumble EVERY time they do their chores and EVERY time they get an allowance, they're happy. When they "don't" want to do them, I say I will deduct a dollar for that day, and they get right up and do them.
Originally posted by SunburntOne of the greatest posts I have ever seen on RHP! Pat your back Sunburnt.
Ok, this might be a little long winded but I think I am following what you mean.
"Don't" should come with obvious things like "don't" touch hot things, "don't" steal, "don't" hit (thought they do anyway, lol), "don't" cheat, "don't" be an A-hole.
With my kids, and their dad was always on the same parenting page, we were realists with them. We treated ...[text shortened]... ct a dollar for that day, and they get right up and do them.
-m.
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Originally posted by Trev33Yeah, that's why a full percent of them ends up in jail... 'cause they can, positively.
Some negative IS good, the world IS full of them... even more reason why a child shouldn't be subjected with them by its parents. You can't do this, you can't do that, breeding confidence isn't as bad thing, in fact I'd say it's a good thing. It's hard to compare our mindsets on this, America is a lot more positive place than here.
Richard