Joke of the Day

The cops just came by my house and said my dog was chasing a kid on a bike. I told them that was a lie, my dog can't ride a bike.

Somebody please answer me this: Where do jokes come from;

is some bird involved; and is a joke ever told for the first time?


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Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
Somebody please answer me this: Where do jokes come from;

is some bird involved; and is a joke ever told for the first time?


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Originally posted by sonhouse
And did King Tut tell jokes? Or going back even further, did you see 'Quest for fire"?

There was a sequence where they were up in a tree and fell and they started laughing, Ray Dawn Chong started it, she being from the more sophisticated society but the idea being she was one of the first to have a sense of humor. First you have to be able to communicate ...[text shortened]... someone falls to actually creating a situation mentally that can be communicated as humorous.

Originally posted by sonhouse
And did King Tut tell jokes? Or going back even further, did you see 'Quest for fire"?

Originally posted by Shallow Blue
Dunno, but the Greeks did. Some comedian on the telly claimed to have investigated the history of humour, and found this ancient Greek joke which still works, more or less:

Barber: How do you want your hair cut?
Customer: In silence!

Richard

Originally posted by sonhouse
Good one. I wonder if any earlier examples are around?

Originally posted by Shallow Blue
He'd found some, but I don't remember what they were. All I remember is that they didn't work any more. They weren't funny, they were just odd.

Richard

Originally posted by ChessPraxis
The cops just came by my house and said my dog was chasing a kid on a bike. I told them that was a lie, my dog can't ride a bike.

QEII is at the table in the Palace onn Christmas day. After a few glasses of wine, she says to Prince Phillip, "Hey Phil, you know how our family likes controversy at this time fo year, well I'm gonna give Charles a wee bit. I heard a joke and it's one of Chubby's, and it's hilarious", as she giggles.

She calls across the table to Charles, "Hey Charles, did you know after Camilla has given you fallatio, and swallowed your semen, did you know she gets a sore throat?"

"No ma'm I didn't know that."

"Well Charles, what's better is what she takes for it. Do you know what she takes for it?"

"No ma'm. I don't"

"Well Charles, you'll be happy to hear that to cure it she takes























Andrews." 😀

ITALIAN ARITHMETIC

An Italian workman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test..


'Here's your first question,' the foreman said. 'Without using numbers, represent the number 9.'

'Withouta numbers?' the Italian says, 'Datsa easy.' and he proceeds to draw three trees.

'What's this?' the boss asks.

'Ave you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine,' says the Italian.

'Fair enough,' says the boss. 'Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.'

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree . 'Ere you go.'

The boss scratches his head and says, 'How on earth do you get that to represent 99?'

'Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99.'

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, 'All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.'

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, 'Ere you go.
One hundred.'

The boss looks at the attempt. 'You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!'

(You're going to love this one!!!)

The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, 'A little dogga come along and crappa by eacha tree. So now you gotta dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data make a one hundred. So, whenna I start?

A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crotchless underwear she had seen in a lingerie shop. One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous, and he was, as usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up, and donned the crotchless undies, and a slinky negligee. She then strolled between her husband and the television, and suggestively tossed one leg up on his chair arm. 'Want some of this?' she purred. 'Are you kidding?' he replied. 'Look what it did to your underwear'

Originally posted by adramforall
A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crotchless underwear she had seen in a lingerie shop. One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous, and he was, as us ...[text shortened]... of this?' she purred. 'Are you kidding?' he replied. 'Look what it did to your underwear'

A black guy, a Muslim, an illegal aliean, and a communist walk into a bar.

The bartender asks, "What will you drink Mr. President?"