Objects in mirror...

@moonbus said
sexist deprogramming.

If not fully satisfied...

...ask the pimp for a re-fun.

Important Message: ...

@wolfe63 said
...ask the pimp for a re-fun.

Important Message: ...

...Piccalilli contains cauliflower. I repeat, piccalilli contains cauliflower.


When I become Prime Minister...

@ghost-of-a-duke said
...Piccalilli contains cauliflower. I repeat, piccalilli contains cauliflower.


When I become Prime Minister...

...I shall decree that all convicts are daily fed, piccalilli and crisps.

All employees must wash...

@wolfe63 said
...I shall decree that all convicts are daily fed, piccalilli and crisps.

All employees must wash...

...the feet of their employers.

To remove a red wine stain from your carpet...

@ghost-of-a-duke said
...the feet of their employers.

To remove a red wine stain from your carpet...

get a dog.

The wall shall be...

@great-big-stees said
get a dog.

The wall shall be...

impenetrable.


If it isn't...

@mudfinger said
impenetrable.


If it isn't...

... apply for a refund.

Refund valid only if ...

@moonbus said
... apply for a refund.

Refund valid only if ...

...service didn't come up to standards.

It's all downhill from...

@wolfe63 said
...service didn't come up to standards.

It's all downhill from...

the summit.

Life's like a bowl of ...

@moonbus said
the summit.

Life's like a bowl of ...

...granola.

if two's company, and three's a crowd, then...

@rookie54 said
...granola.

if two's company, and three's a crowd, then...

four's an orgy.

The biggest lie I ever told...

@mudfinger said
four's an orgy.

The biggest lie I ever told...

...I’ll tell you, for a price.

You couldn’t hit the broad...

@js357 said
...I’ll tell you, for a price.

You couldn’t hit the broad...

if you tried.

An apple a day ...

@moonbus said
if you tried.

An apple a day ...

...keeps William Tell flush in targets.

There's no telling when...

@wolfe63 said
...keeps William Tell flush in targets.

There's no telling when...

or why ...