Originally posted by ikklecallieA bored young schoolgirl named Callie
There was a big man with a limp
Who decided that he'd be a pimp
So he bought several whores
And took them indoors
Where he trained them to screw with a chimp
Would sometimes with poetry dally.
But (between you and me)
What she wanted to be
Was a boxer like Muhummad Ali.
Originally posted by PawnokeyholeThere was a young man from cape horn
A bored young schoolgirl named Callie
Would sometimes with poetry dally.
But (between you and me)
What she wanted to be
Was a boxer like Muhummad Ali.
Who wished that he'd never been born
And he wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of the rubber was torn.
Originally posted by Pawnokeyholethere was a young man called malcom
A bored young schoolgirl named Callie
Would sometimes with poetry dally.
But (between you and me)
What she wanted to be
Was a boxer like Muhummad Ali.
who wanted to be a falcon
so he jumped of a cliff
but forgot to lift
and ended up dead without feeling
Originally posted by ikklecallieBetter:
there was a young man called malcom
who wanted to be a falcon
so he jumped of a cliff
but forgot to lift
and ended up dead without feeling
A pothead was one day directed
To fly like a bird undeflected
So he lit up a spliff
And leapt off a cliff
But failed to get high as expected.
Do these have to be original?
I always like the silliness of this:
"You are old, father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head
Do you think, at your age, it is right?
"In my youth," father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."
"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
And you have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door
Pray what is the reason for that?"
"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment one shilling a box
Allow me to sell you a couple?"
"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"
"In my youth," said his fater, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."
"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose
What made you so awfully clever?"
"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs.
She's known as Rebecca,
The heart, the home wrecker
She's mad about, glad about scalps.
She gads with the men from seven 'til ten
In her little red house in the Alps
Don't gather from this
That the men are all Swiss
There are earthenware makers from Delph
There are men from Mombassa
And Loonies from Lassa
In fact I have been there myself.