silly poems

Spike Milligan was the king of silly rhymes.
I always believed this was his, but I'm not 100% sure:

I wish I was a glow-worm
A glow-worm is never glum
How can you be grumpy
When a light shines out your bum?

Originally posted by znsho
Spike Milligan didn't.

Originally posted by Varg
Spike Milligan was the king of silly rhymes.
I always believed this was his, but I'm not 100% sure:

I wish I was a glow-worm
A glow-worm is never glum
How can you be grumpy
When a light shines out your bum?

Birdie birdie in the snow
Broken wing, broken toe.
Lured him in with bits of bread
then I crushed 'is fukin head!

There once was a lass from Madras
who had a remarkable ass!
Not rounded and pink,
as you might like to think,
but gray,
had long ears,
and ate grass!

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

A glutton who came from the Rhine
Was asked at what hour he would dine.
He replied, 'At eleven,
At three, five and seven,
At eight, and a quarter to nine.'

Originally posted by Bowmann
A glutton who came from the Rhine
Was asked at what hour he would dine.
He replied, 'At eleven,
At three, five and seven,
At eight, and a quarter to nine.'

Administration

Day by day your estimation clocks up
Who deserves a smile and who a frown,
And girls you have to tell to pull their socks up
Are those whose pants you'd most like to pull down.

Philip Larkin, 1965

Originally posted by Bowmann
[b]Administration

Day by day your estimation clocks up
Who deserves a smile and who a frown,
And girls you have to tell to pull their socks up
Are those whose pants you'd most like to pull down.

Philip Larkin, 1965[/b]

Oh where art thou recs

Oh where art thou recs
not long ago they vanished
so crack open ye Becks
and ye worries will be banished

but betwixt the drunken stupour
and a hurting head
you cry out more and more
for the recs, as they are dead

Puff the magic dragon,
Lived by himself,
He had no one to play with,
So he played with himself.

He got himself a girlfriend,
But that was not enough,
So he got himself a boyfriend,
And thats why they called him puff.

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
Puff the magic dragon,
Lived by himself,
He had no one to play with,
So he played with himself.

He got himself a girlfriend,
But that was not enough,
So he got himself a boyfriend,
And thats why they called him puff.

Mary had a little lamb
It's mouth was full of blisters
So mary stuck it on a fire
with all it's brothers and sisters

Mary's lamb had foot-and-mouth
Her dad, the farmer, shot it.
But Mary's father shagged it first
and now her sisters got it.