Originally posted by PonderableIt's this continual "blaming the victim" that darvlay alluded to that I can't stand. If you see a woman walking down the street in the most outlandish, whorish costume you can think of, would anyone anywhere genetically above Neandertals really think it's perfectly okay to abduct this woman and viciously rape her because after all, she must've been asking for it?? Or even maybe NOT blame some knuckle-dragger for doing so?
divegester and Suzianne there seems to be a communication problem
divegesterseems to see the problem from a solution point of view, which I would paraphrase:
"The situation is NOW as it is. If you want it to become better you can either expect others to change (highly unlikely) or you can change e.g. new account with new username or ask Russ for a cha ...[text shortened]... ho whines and is not ready to do what is in HER power to change things.
So which shall it be?
If the majority (I think men still ARE the majority here, at least for now) actually think this woman has the right, like every woman, to be treated like a human being, and not a third-class citizen of the Net community, JUST FOR ACTUALLY BEING A WOMAN, then the "real" solution to her problem is for men like you to stand up and be counted on to speak out against this reprehensible behavior. The only way we can take steps to abolish this anti-social behavior is to make it clear that IT IS UNACCEPTABLE.
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22 Oct 14
Originally posted by SuzianneOh dear.
It's this continual "blaming the victim" that darvlay alluded to that I can't stand. If you see a woman walking down the street in the most outlandish, whorish costume you can think of, would anyone anywhere genetically above Neandertals really think it's perfectly okay to abduct this woman and viciously rape her because after all, she must've been asking ...[text shortened]... can take steps to abolish this anti-social behavior is to make it clear that IT IS UNACCEPTABLE.
Originally posted by divegeesterWhy is it not possible for people to treat people as the gender they represent as anyways? Someone shows up with a male name, you have no problem treating them like a guy. But heaven forbid someone should show up with a name that suggests their gender if they are female!
Last year I carried out a small experiment; I changed my profile pic to a young pretty girl and my profile text to read that I was an aspiring clothes designer and keen to learn chess. Within 24 hours I had several hopeful nerd males making game offers and sending me friendly "get to know you" in game messages and PMs, so I'm well aware of the issue.
...[text shortened]... emale. I think Suzanne knew that, but nevertheless if I'm wrong on both counts then I apologise.
What about transgenders? What if someone were physically a male and inside they were female, maybe they're on their way but haven't made the full jump yet. Would it not be respectful to call them by the name they wish to be known as, WHATEVER that is?
Why is it YOUR decision as to what names are acceptable?
How about just a teeny, tiny bit of respect to treat them like they want to be treated, be that male or female? Time and again, males show up and it's all "hey mate, what about ManU last night, what a game, eh?" but a female shows up and it's all "I think "he" (or worse, "it" ) needs to quit crying and get a life". Women are people too. Try showing them the same human respect you show the guys.
But you know, the "real" solution is right in front of us. Like Emma Watson said, in her speech to the UN, men need to stand up against this behavior too, if we want to actually see things change. It needs to be abolished like we abolished "smoking", by the only way that works: we need to make the behavior socially unacceptable. And because this behavior is mostly perpetrated by men, then men need to stand up and start showing other men that it IS socially unacceptable. Only then can we ALL be free.
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22 Oct 14
Originally posted by SuzianneYou're female and no one treats you like that. If women want equality on the internet (whatever that is!!) they need to stop relying on people like you to fight their pathetic little "he sent me a rude message" battles and grow up.
Why is it not possible for people to treat people as the gender they represent as anyways? Someone shows up with a male name, you have no problem treating them like a guy. But heaven forbid someone should show up with a name that suggests their gender if they are female!
What about transgenders? What if someone were physically a male and inside they w ...[text shortened]... up and start showing other men that it IS socially unacceptable. Only then can we ALL be free.
FFS it's in an in game msg. Just tell the twat to eff off.
Jeez.
22 Oct 14
Originally posted by SuzianneI think rape pretty much is unacceptable. At least in my neighborhood. Both men and women in large agree on that. What we don't really agree on is that a Woman probably shouldn't be running around naked. Personally I encourage it. But that's just me. Except I probably wouldn't want my Mother, wife or daughter (if I had one ) to do that. So you believe it's alright to do that? You would do that yourself? Sure I think a woman should feel safe against attack. But don't be a man hatter either. Which I know your not because I know you love me. Men should feel safe to streak and not be arrested or molested either. Take moonbus for instance. What do you think would happen to him if Darvley were to see him alone in a dark alley? Where is the voice of pity for moonbus?
It's this continual "blaming the victim" that darvlay alluded to that I can't stand. If you see a woman walking down the street in the most outlandish, whorish costume you can think of, would anyone anywhere genetically above Neandertals really think it's perfectly okay to abduct this woman and viciously rape her because after all, she must've been asking ...[text shortened]... can take steps to abolish this anti-social behavior is to make it clear that IT IS UNACCEPTABLE.
22 Oct 14
Originally posted by cashthetrashMaybe it wasn't clear that the two parts of my post were separate, talking about two different women. The first was the hypothetical woman out in public in less-than-acceptable attire. The second was this woman who posted in this thread about being approached inappropriately during games.
I think rape pretty much is unacceptable. At least in my neighborhood. Both men and women in large agree on that. What we don't really agree on is that a Woman probably shouldn't be running around naked. Personally I encourage it. But that's just me. Except I probably wouldn't want my Mother, wife or daughter (if I had one ) to do that. So you believe i ...[text shortened]... to him if Darvley were to see him alone in a dark alley? Where is the voice of pity for moonbus?
I can see that many men on this site need to re-evaluate their definition of a feminist. The old, Gloria-Steinem-type 'Women's Libber' is not what today's feminist is about. Today, feminism is not only concerned with women's issues, like domestic violence, but with 'gender equality' as a whole, for women AND for men. For more about what I'm "on" about, go read my OP in the "Gender Equality" thread in the Debates forum. Inevitably, the discussion goes south after a while, but the first half of the thread is not bad.
22 Oct 14
Originally posted by SuzianneI never thought just by reading an article in the debate forum that I would actually become a feminist. I agree with equal rights for all. Women have been right all along but I have never really looked at it the way I do now. Hello equal pay for equal work. Good by alimony checks. Hello men drink free on Saturday night, ladies drink free on Wednesday nights. What else can we make equal? I'm all for it. Free love baby...
Maybe it wasn't clear that the two parts of my post were separate, talking about two different women. The first was the hypothetical woman out in public in less-than-acceptable attire. The second was this woman who posted in this thread about being approached inappropriately during games.
I can see that many men on this site need to re-evaluate their d ...[text shortened]... nevitably, the discussion goes south after a while, but the first half of the thread is not bad.
Originally posted by SuzianneSome self-declared "feminists" nowadays simply bandy about the word "misogynist" willy nilly as part of an abrasive "kick ass" fist-swinging online persona and in so doing they are not forwarding any particular cause other than their self-satisfaction. 🙂
I can see that many men on this site need to re-evaluate their definition of a feminist. The old, Gloria-Steinem-type 'Women's Libber' is not what today's feminist is about.
23 Oct 14
Originally posted by missRMy penny's worth. If some sleezy guy sends creepy messages during a game, tell him his attention or his demeanour is unwelcome, or abuse him back if that's your thang, or ignore him, or end the game, or play out the game, or just leave the game hanging there, or send a PM to all his current opponents telling them about the harassment you've experienced, or if it's disturbing or incessant send feedback to the web site administrators, or if the site does not handle it in a satisfactory fashion then raise it in public in the forums or, if there's no other way to reduce the sleeze and if it's truly intolerable, then consider leaving the site.
I'd just like to ask, are there any other ladies experiencing inappropriate messages from players? I've been playing for years but recently been approached mid game by some opponents. I don't like it. I'm here to play chess not be hit on. Is there a process for reporting these kinds of people?
23 Oct 14
Originally posted by SuzianneWould you also use the word "misogynist" to describe men who "think it's perfectly okay to abduct [a] woman and viciously rape her"?
If you see a woman walking down the street in the most outlandish, whorish costume you can think of, would anyone anywhere genetically above Neandertals really think it's perfectly okay to abduct this woman and viciously rape her because after all, she must've been asking for it??
Originally posted by divegeesterIf this is her first chess site, she probably isn't expecting men to be jerks. It can come as a surprise, since the popular cultural image of men who play chess is that they're intelligent.
I'm part of what problem...users sending females unsolicited in-game messages?
Firstly the world is full of weirdos and creeps, the internet especially, so if you are a female concerned about privacy and about to join a correspondence site, it is probably best to not call yourself "Miss" don't you think?
Secondly this user is not a subscriber and ...[text shortened]... minist and let your hairy Albanian bare-knuckle fighter self come through a little more darling.