Dear Uncle Chav,
My girlfriend is so nasty, she won't make love to me, even worse she won't even speak to me. Everyday I shower her with presents like flowers & chocolates to prove my love, but she just throws them back in my face, and then gets her body guard to hit me. Recently she threatened getting the police to arrest me for stalking. Could her strange behavour be due to her stressful celebrity life style ?
Originally posted by cup o soupDear friend of cup o soup,
Dear Dr Shav (you have been promoted)
A friend of mine is suffering from a really embarrassing condition.
He explained to me the other day that he suffers from, well, how can I word this so my post is not deleted, his passengers disembark from the train before it has left the station.
Or, he arrives far too early, leaving his girlfriend to find her ...[text shortened]... hod will one day work.
I do hope this is not too ambiguous.
A concerned friend
🙄🙄🙄🙄
I don't know who this person is who suggested electrodes...but I presume he got a good laugh at your expense.
There are 2 things you can do to prelong the experience.
One: Have a personal experience on your own, 10 minutes before you go about sharing an experience with someone else.
Two: Cook the vegetables until they're nearly boiling over. Then turn down the flame, withdraw from the kitchen for 3 minutes and then turn the flame back up. Repeat as often as possible.
Originally posted by shavixmirNow me now me answer my mine...c'mon c'mon!!!
Dear friend of cup o soup,
I don't know who this person is who suggested electrodes...but I presume he got a good laugh at your expense.
There are 2 things you can do to prelong the experience.
One: Have a personal experience on your own, 10 minutes before you go about sharing an experience with someone else.
Two: Cook the vegetables until th ...[text shortened]... raw from the kitchen for 3 minutes and then turn the flame back up. Repeat as often as possible.
Originally posted by angie88I don't know if 17 year old girls calling me uncle is a turn on or actually quite illegal...
Dear Uncle Shav,
I am writing on behalf of a (male) acquaintance. He doesn't know I'm writing, and he probably wouldn't want me to, but it's driving me crazy. The person I'm talking about is a whiny, sorry loser who makes a total fool of himself without ever noticing. Now, I know that several people have offered him kind advice, like for example sugges ...[text shortened]... me.
Please, uncle Shav, tell me what to do, since I am really worried!
Yours sincerely,
(C-K)
Originally posted by Jay PeateaWell, I can give you two pieces of advice:
Dear Uncle Chav,
My girlfriend is so nasty, she won't make love to me, even worse she won't even speak to me. Everyday I shower her with presents like flowers & chocolates to prove my love, but she just throws them back in my face, and then gets her body guard to hit me. Recently she threatened getting the police to arrest me for stalking. Could her strange behavour be due to her stressful celebrity life style ?
1. Don't shower her with presents, shower yourself with soap and water. That's always a good begin.
2. Surprise her at home with a well aimed parachute jump. That's always met with appreciation.
Originally posted by shavixmirok, how about... *strains to think of something that can't be misinterpreted*.... *sigh I have a sick mind 😞
I don't know if 17 year old girls calling me uncle is a turn on or actually quite illegal...
Dear Agony Uncle? In my eyes, that looks platonic, no?
now go give me advice! please 😛
Originally posted by angie88Dear Angie,
ok, how about... *strains to think of something that can't be misinterpreted*.... *sigh I have a sick mind 😞
Dear Agony Uncle? In my eyes, that looks platonic, no?
now go give me advice! please 😛
Perhaps you should give him constructive critisism instead of death threats. That may well do the trick.
If not: 00 31 70 3868542
That's the telephon number of a friend of mine. He's a hitman. He's expensive but thorough.
Originally posted by shavixmircool. I'm biting my nail at how many people will actually call this number... I'm guessing it's either yours or that of some sex hotline 😉
Dear Angie,
Perhaps you should give him constructive critisism instead of death threats. That may well do the trick.
If not: 00 31 70 3868542
That's the telephon number of a friend of mine. He's a hitman. He's expensive but thorough.
do you mean constructive critisism along the lines of "Dear _______, get your foot out of your mouth and stop being such a moron, and your life will be much better!"? or more like "hey, psst, I heard you get really high if you shoot air bubbles into your veins with a syringe!"? I mean, that was at least creative if not constructive... 😀
Originally posted by angie88You'd be an excellent social worker.
cool. I'm biting my nail at how many people will actually call this number... I'm guessing it's either yours or that of some sex hotline 😉
do you mean constructive critisism along the lines of "Dear _______, get your foot out of your mouth and stop being such a moron, and your life will be much better!"? or more like "hey, psst, I heard you get reall ...[text shortened]... into your veins with a syringe!"? I mean, that was at least creative if not constructive... 😀