Here's another question that was just PM'd to me by D from Uganda: "Dear Shavi, my wife is constantly hiding my bottle of gin. We keep it in the fridge and when I go to look for it, it's not there! She keeps on telling me it is and then when I give up, she goes and gets it. She's deliberately trying to drive me mad."
I see two main problems here: One is the fact that you're paranoid and really should seek help.
The second is the difference in how you view things (which is leading to this frustrating situation).
Men look at things in a set angle, straight ahead. Women see on a far broader scale (wide angled vision).
So, a woman, when she looks in the fridge sees everything in one go. And a man has to move his head around from location to location to see if he sees what he's after. This method means it's easier to overlook things.
So, basically, your wife is right. And you are paranoid.
Originally posted by EdwardipovDear Edw...friend of Edwardipov,
Uncle Shav,
a friend of a friend of mine is in the doghouse, after his girlfriend walked in on him trying on her underwear. now she won't talk to m.. i mean him. what should he do?
yours,
concerned (for his friends' friend, obviously)
There are two solutions to this problem.
The first is to get a friend of a friend of this friend to get a friend to organise a vicars and tarts party (fancy dress ball). Get the invitation sent to the friend who's in trouble's house and be sure NOT TO OPEN IT. The girlfriend must open it.
The invitation must read: "The secret fancy dress party is on such and such a date. Remember, all men are to come in women's clothes. Girls will be re-dressed at the party."
This will not only serve to remedy the situation, but will also send the offending girl into a guilt-ridden sex-drive for giving yo...I mean your friend the cold shoulder.
The second solution is to dump the girlfriend and go to a transvestites bar.
Dear Uncle Shav,
I was recently made aware that someone whom I have known for a number of years is very attracted to me. I have known them since before my current girlfriend and had a major crush on them ever since. The trouble is they were always with someone else and I didn't think they'd be interested in me. I love my girlfriend very much, but our sexual relationship is somewhat dull of late and the temptation to capitulate on this opportunity is getting bigger. Can you help?
Originally posted by shavixmiruncle shav..
Dear Edw...friend of Edwardipov,
There are two solutions to this problem.
The first is to get a friend of a friend of this friend to get a friend to organise a vicars and tarts party (fancy dress ball). Get the invitation sent to the friend who's in trouble's house and be sure NOT TO OPEN IT. The girlfriend must open it.
The invitation must read ...[text shortened]... cold shoulder.
The second solution is to dump the girlfriend and go to a transvestites bar.
My vife she refuse me marital rights........ what I should do.... in my village we would put her in the stocks and throw rotten apples at her.. u tink is goot idea??
Originally posted by StarrmanDear Starrman,
Dear Uncle Shav,
I was recently made aware that someone whom I have known for a number of years is very attracted to me. I have known them since before my current girlfriend and had a major crush on them ever since. The trouble is they were always with someone else and I didn't think they'd be interested in me. I love my girlfriend very much, but ou ...[text shortened]... l of late and the temptation to capitulate on this opportunity is getting bigger. Can you help?
There are four choices:
1.
Stay with your girlfriend, which means you must improve your sexual relationship with her. Visit sex-shops, buy games to play, etc.
2. Leave your girlfriend and go with this new one. Remember that love is nothing more than the fear of being alone and that you only live once. Why waste your time on a bad shag?
3. Give me the e-mail address of this other girl and I'll give you a test-drive report so you know what you'd be getting into if you opt for number 2.
4. Obviously the best option is to convince your current girlfriend that all humans have basic bi-sexual needs and that you know someone who'll be able to help her (and you) experiment in sexual awareness and enjoyment.
Then convince the other girl of exactly the same.
Originally posted by Vladamir no1Please forgive my interjection shavixmir, but if I may, I think vladdy should dump his vife and try a wife on for size.
uncle shav..
My vife she refuse me marital rights........ what I should do.... in my village we would put her in the stocks and throw rotten apples at her.. u tink is goot idea??
Originally posted by Vladamir no1Dear Vlad,
uncle shav..
My vife she refuse me marital rights........ what I should do.... in my village we would put her in the stocks and throw rotten apples at her.. u tink is goot idea??
Men and women live in a constant pull-and-tug relationship of giving attention and receiving attention.
The more attention you give someone, the less they'll need it. And the less attention you give someone, the more they'll need it.
I suggest to you that you should shower more regularly than you do and completely ignore your wife. That way she'll want to give you more attention.
I wouldn't have guessed you lived in a village.
Originally posted by shavixmirshe moan I give more attention to chess... but chess is the most important ting in the world no?? i know u understand.. my uncle
Dear Vlad,
Men and women live in a constant pull-and-tug relationship of giving attention and receiving attention.
The more attention you give someone, the less they'll need it. And the less attention you give someone, the more they'll need it.
I suggest to you that you should shower more regularly than you do and completely ignore your wife. Th ...[text shortened]... ay she'll want to give you more attention.
I wouldn't have guessed you lived in a village.
Dear Uncle Shav,
1. Stay with your girlfriend, which means you must improve your sexual relationship with her. Visit sex-shops, buy games to play, etc.
Unfortunately the dullness of our relationship isn't that we don't enjoy sex together, toys etc are a healthy part of it, it's that my girlfriend works a 12 hour day and goes to bed at 9:30 absolutely knackered. While she would like to have sex more often she is just too fatigued during the week.
2. Leave your girlfriend and go with this new one. Remember that love is nothing more than the fear of being alone and that you only live once. Why waste your time on a bad shag?
I would, but then there is the general hatred our combined friends would have for us and I don't think I could do it to my girlfriend either.
3. Give me the e-mail address of this other girl and I'll give you a test-drive report so you know what you'd be getting into if you opt for number 2.
I wouldn't want her to fall for you and abandon me...
4. Obviously the best option is to convince your current girlfriend that all humans have basic bi-sexual needs and that you know someone who'll be able to help her (and you) experiment in sexual awareness and enjoyment.
Then convince the other girl of exactly the same.
Agreed, I shall pursue this course of action immediately. Although once in place, what's to stop two being three, becoming four etc.? Where does the line get drawn on an open relationship?
I'm still so confused, please enlighten me.