Originally posted by Grampy Bobby Thanks for weighing in. As John Locke observed: "We arrive at the truth through the honest disagreement among friends."
Bobby disagreeing with the majority of your friends on the majority of issues doen't make one honest even when correct. It just makes them stuborn and irritating. Honestly is that your intent? Because it sure seems to be the result. I say this in love and respect. Even if it sounds otherwise to you. Your feelings do matter to me and don't mean to hurt them. I am one of many of your friends that I am sure agree with me. Please listen to your friends and respect them as much as you want to be respeced. Not with words but with actions requested by them. You may have the right to irritate them, but it doesn't make it right. Especcially when you are aware that it does. Whatever quote you use from someones elses brain is not meant in support of you personally, even if you support theirs. No matter how much you smam the forums with them.
"Introduction: Every relationship between a Personality-Disordered Individual and a Non Personality-Disordered Individual is as unique as the DNA of the people involved. Nevertheless, there are some common behavior patterns.
The list below contains descriptions of some of the more common traits of people who suffer from personality disorders, as observed by family members and partners.Examples are given of each trait, with descriptions of what it feels like to be caught in the crossfire. Please note: these descriptions are not intended for diagnosis. Refer to the DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders for clinical diagnostic criteria. No one person exhibits all of the traits and the presence of one or more of these traits is not evidence of a personality disorder. Read our disclaimer for more info.
One common criticism of Out of the FOG is that this list of traits seems so "normal" - more like traits of an unpleasant person than traits of a mentally ill person. This is no accident. Personality disordered people are normal people. Approximately 1 in 11 people meet the diagnostic criteria for having a personality disorder. Personality-disordered people don't fit the stereotypical models for people with mental illnesses but their behaviors can be just as destructive. These descriptions are offered in the hope that non-personality-disordered family members, caregivers and loved-ones might recognize some similarities to their own situation and discover that they are not alone." (OP)
drewnogal, I'm glad you seem to be familiar with the introduction and list of traits. Did you notice the author's disclaimer: "Please note: these descriptions are not intended for diagnosis."? Also the observation: "... that this list of traits seems so "normal" - more like traits of an unpleasant person than traits of a mentally ill person. This is no accident. Personality disordered people are normal people." This information caught my attention while searching for a diagnosis of the underlying causes of 'hatred' because of one family member and one close friend who have discussed these issues with me even though I had no frame of reference until now. My tentative conclusion is that each one of us have some areas of normality and abnormality in varying degrees. As a lay person, I offered the topic for general discussion only in the hope of learning more. If the thread has inadvertently become personalized for you or your family or anyone here, please accept my apology. Thanks. -Bob
Originally posted by cashthetrash Bobby disagreeing with the majority of your friends on the majority of issues doen't make one honest even when correct. It just makes them stuborn and irritating. Honestly is that your intent? Because it sure seems to be the result. I say this in love and respect. Even if it sounds otherwise to you. Your feelings do matter to me and don't mean to hurt t ...[text shortened]... of you personally, even if you support theirs. No matter how much you smam the forums with them.
Hi, cash. Please read my reply to drewnogal (with a focus on my family member and close friend). Thank you.
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.” - Oscar Wilde
Originally posted by Suzianne A lot of women do this when dealing with men.
With some men, it may be a good idea not to seem smarter than they are.
Women know this from experience.
I wouldn't put it on this list. It's not exactly an unconscious decision to do this most of the time. It's usually done on purpose to avoid pissing off certain men, for example, an insecure supervisor, especially those involved in #80, Self-Aggrandizement.
"79. Selective Competence - The practice of demonstrating different levels f intelligence or ability depending on the situation or environment." Evelyn would have related directly to your summation; you two would have been the best of friends.
Top 100 Traits of Personality-Disordered Individuals
"83. Self-Victimization - Self-Victimization or "playing the victim" is the act of casting oneself as a victim in order to control others by soliciting a sympathetic response from them or diverting their attention away from abusive behavior.
84. Sense of Entitlement - An unrealistic, unmerited or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others.
85. Sexual Objectification - The act of viewing another individual in terms of their sexual usefulness or attractiveness rather than pursuing or engaging in a quality of personal relationship with them.
86. Shaming - The difference between blaming and shaming is that in blaming someone tells you that you did something bad, in shaming someone tells you that you are something bad.
87. Silent Treatment - A passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence.
88. Situational Ethics - A philosophy which promotes the idea that, when dealing with a crisis, the end justifies the means and that a rigid interpretation of rules and laws can be set aside if a greater good or lesser evil is served by doing so.
89. Sleep Deprivation - The practice of routinely interrupting, impeding or restricting another person's sleep cycle.
90. Splitting - The practice of regarding people and situations as either completely "good" or completely "bad".
91. Stalking - Any pervasive and unwelcome pattern of pursuing contact with another individual.
92. Stunted Emotional Growth - Reluctance or inability to learn from mistakes, work on self-improvement or develop more effective coping strategies." (to be continued) http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/Top100Traits.html
Top 100 Traits of Personality-Disordered Individuals
"93. Targeted Humor, Mocking and Sarcasm - Targeted Humor is any sustained pattern of joking, sarcasm or mockery which is designed to reduce another individual's reputation in their own eyes or in the eyes of others.
94. Testing - Repeatedly forcing another individual to demonstrate or prove their love or commitment to a relationship.
95. Thought Policing - A process of interrogation or attempt to control another individual's thoughts or feelings.
96. Threats - Inappropriate, intentional warnings of destructive actions or consequences.
97. Triangulation - Gaining an advantage over perceived rivals by manipulating them into conflicts with each other.
98. Triggering - Small, insignificant or minor actions, statements or events that produce a dramatic or inappropriate response.
99. Tunnel Vision - A tendency to focus on a single concern, while neglecting or ignoring other important priorities.
100. Verbal Abuse - Any kind of repeated pattern of inappropriate, derogatory or threatening speech directed at one individual by another." http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/Top100Traits.html
Top 100 Traits of Personality-Disordered Individuals
"For More Information & Support...If you suspect you may have a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.
• Support Forum - Read real stories. Ask questions.
• Top 100 Traits of people with Personality Disorders.
• Toolbox - Ideas for coping and common mistakes.
• Personality Disorder Glossary - Learn the lingo.
Originally posted by Grampy Bobby [b]Top 100 Traits of Personality-Disordered Individuals
"83. Self-Victimization - Self-Victimization or "playing the victim" is the act of casting oneself as a victim in order to control others by soliciting a sympathetic response from them or diverting their attention away from abusive behavior.
84. Sense of Entitlement - An unrealist ...[text shortened]... e coping strategies." (to be continued) http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/Top100Traits.html[/b]
Here I take the 92. Stunted Emotional Growth -[/b] Reluctance or inability to learn from mistakes, work on self-improvement or develop more effective coping strategies."
Well well well, I think this one is pretty common between a good majority of primates.
(to be continued)
Originally posted by Tabitha Marshall Here I take the 92. Stunted Emotional Growth - Reluctance or inability to learn from mistakes, work on self-improvement or develop more effective coping strategies."
Well well well, I think this one is pretty common between a good majority of primates.
(to be continued)[/b]
Do you think this trait results from bull dogmatic stubbornness and difficulties in admitting to getting a thing wrong?
Originally posted by Grampy Bobby Do you think this trait results from bull dogmatic stubbornness and difficulties in admitting to getting a thing wrong?
Probably to a certain extent but perhaps for lack of emotional memory.
Top 100 Traits... "
16 May '14 17:28
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