04 Jun 07
1 edit
Originally posted by Dr StrangeloveCaged heat.
Paris Hilton going to jail for the massive sentence of 23 days. Oh dear! 🙄
What else don't we give a **** about?
I get severely turned on thinking of Paris in a maximum security ladies' penitentiary, getting gang-beaten in the showers by a horde of hot buxom latina gang-bangers.
"No way chica, dis bitch ees mine. Umma eat 'er ass like it be frejoles and rice, homes."
"No please don't! I'm rich! I can do anything for... ungh... NO, please! Ungh.. oh... oh yes, more... "
And so on...
04 Jun 07
1 edit
Originally posted by JusuhWow. I gotta say you have some sucky idols.
I do give a ****. Paris is my idol, along with Hilary Duff.
My idols would have to be...
Well of course, Einstein...
Robert Goddard
Gary Kasparov
Alexander Alekhine
Siegbert Tarrasch
Neils Bohr
oh and the things i least give a crud about are American Idol and Big Brother.
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by darvlaySeveral years ago I was a prison guard in Dusseldorf Germany and David Hasselhoff was brought in after a raid on a bath house down town. This oiled up stud was wearing only a pair of flip flops and a large blue and white towel. Anyway, I digress, normally the cops leave the bath houses alone as long as they are paid up for the month. This night though, The Hoff had had too much to drink and got into a brawl with a massage therapist.
Caged heat.
I get severely turned on thinking of Paris in a maximum security ladies' penitentiary, getting gang-beaten in the showers by a horde of hot buxom latina gang-bangers.
"No way chica, dis bitch ees mine. Umma eat 'er ass like it be frejoles and rice, homes."
"No please don't! I'm rich! I can do anything for... ungh... NO, please! Ungh.. oh... oh yes, more... "
And so on...
During his massage The Hoff had been griping about how his role in reuniting the East and West Germany has been overlooked. Apparently the hunk in the trunks united Germany with song by leading the chorus of several hundred thousand voices. By singing 'Looking for Freedom' no longer was this man, hitherto known to the rest of the world for driving a talking car, anything less than Godlike.
Just as he expressed, in German, "I find it a bit sad that there is no photo of me hanging on the walls in the Berlin Museum at Checkpoint Charlie," his massage therapist gave him 'The Stink Finger'. With plenty of enthusiasm behind it, 'The Stink Finger' was not well received and the ensuing brawl spilled out onto the streets where rubber bullets riot cops were required to quell the violence.
Any way, back to the begining, this is how I ended up batoning The Hoff in his jail cell while singing, "I've been lookin' for freedom; I've been lookin' so long; I've been lookin' for freedom; still the search goes on..."
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by Hand of HecateHasselhoff just sounds like some hammered skid down at the local bar on kareokee night singing bad Neil Diamond songs 😞
Several years ago I was a prison guard in Dusseldorf Germany and David Hasselhoff was brought in after a raid on a bath house down town. This oiled up stud was wearing only a pair of flip flops and a large blue and white towel. Anyway, I digress, normally the cops leave the bath houses alone as long as they are paid up for the month. This night tho ...[text shortened]... een lookin' so long; I've been lookin' for freedom; still the search goes on..."
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by uzlessDon't tell the Germans that, he's more popular than Hitler and Jesus put together. Plus, he kept a tune just fine when I made him sing Oh Canada with my prison issue boot on his throat.
Hasselhoff just sounds like some hammered skid down at the local bar on kareokee night singing bad Neil Diamond songs 😞
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by EinsteinMindYou should try getting a girlfriend next...
Wow. I gotta say you have some sucky idols.
My idols would have to be...
Well of course, Einstein...
Robert Goddard
Gary Kasparov
Alexander Alekhine
Siegbert Tarrasch
Neils Bohr
oh and the things i least give a crud about are American Idol and Big Brother.