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Originally posted by asromacalcio
Beechams
Beechams won't help you. I've laced my flapjack with amphetamines in the hope that I can out dance the virus.

Question: If I experience an itching sensation behind my shinpads, does that mean the birds already got to me? I don't remember any errant peckings when I was feeding the ducks earlier.

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Originally posted by hopscotch
holycrapoly! I didn't think of that!
The H5N1 gets into the birds, then they get sick and can't fly... then... they bite our shins! We're going to need some extra antihistamines stat!
(note: you shouldn't take antihistamines if you are also on erythromycin, itraconazole or ketoconazole)

The culling has to be increased! These birds are not taking no fo ...[text shortened]... are with you, dear Romania, in your time of struggle against this uncanny avian nightmare.
I thought it was amphetamines, not anti-histamines... oh well, go out on a high!

If I make it through the night I'm taking my grandads Winchester rifle to the spot in town where the bag ladies feed the pigeons at lunch tomorrow. I'll take as many of them down as I can before they overwhelm me with their H5N1. Posthumous awards gratefully accepted.

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Originally posted by rhb
Beechams won't help you. I've laced my flapjack with amphetamines in the hope that I can out dance the virus.

Question: If I experience an itching sensation behind my shinpads, does that mean the birds already got to me? I don't remember any errant peckings when I was feeding the ducks earlier.
You might have a bit of shin pad leakage. Have you done a systems diagnostic recently? I'm afraid we're going to have to suit up and attend to this by hand, the automated repair system is definitely on the fritz. I'll seal the airlock, you lubricate the salmon baguette then head in head first or the doctor will slap you twice.

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I accidently recommended Beechams, and it's not the first time either. There's definitely something sinister afoot. OH MY GOD!! LOOK AT THESE TURKEYS!! http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9727728/

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Originally posted by hopscotch
I accidently recommended Beechams, and it's not the first time either. There's definitely something sinister afoot. OH MY GOD!! LOOK AT THESE TURKEYS!! http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9727728/
I think my wife has bird flu as she came on to me last night and I didn't have to force myself on her involuntarily. The fever must have taken her.

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
I think my wife has bird flu as she came on to me last night and I didn't have to force myself on her involuntarily. The fever must have taken her.
Valentine present

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Originally posted by rhb
Question: If I experience an itching sensation behind my shinpads, does that mean the birds already got to me?
You sneezed more than an hour ago, and you are still asking whether the birds got to you? I guess it must be the fever which doesn't let you think clearly. Let's just hope that you won't have to suffer too long. :'(

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Originally posted by Nordlys
You sneezed more than an hour ago, and you are still asking whether the birds got to you? I guess it must be the fever which doesn't let you think clearly. Let's just hope that you won't have to suffer too long. :'(
Death

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Originally posted by Nordlys
You sneezed more than an hour ago, and you are still asking whether the birds got to you? I guess it must be the fever which doesn't let you think clearly. Let's just hope that you won't have to suffer too long. :'(
Aaaaaaagh! My Eyes!!!!!!!!

Edit: I suggest you stock up:

http://www.uksurvive.com/new/home.php?cat=1

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Originally posted by rhb
Aaaaaaagh! My Eyes!!!!!!!!
contact lenses

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Originally posted by Loose Screw
contact lenses
Have you no compassion? We're all dropping like large flies and you're posting random words in this thread?

Save yourself. If the virus is on this forum it might get you through your keyboard. Ask yourself this - WHEN DID YOU LAST SNEEZE?

If it was within the last year you are doomed.

😠

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Originally posted by rhb
Have you no compassion? We're all dropping like large flies and you're posting random words in this thread?

Save yourself. If the virus is on this forum it might get you through your keyboard. Ask yourself this - WHEN DID YOU LAST SNEEZE?

If it was within the last year you are doomed.

😠
Hell

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Originally posted by rhb
Aaaaaaagh! My Eyes!!!!!!!!

Edit: I suggest you stock up:

http://www.uksurvive.com/new/home.php?cat=1
I already have all those products. In case one of my masks doesn't work properly, I always wear two of them. It makes breathing a bit difficult, but I'd rather suffocate than get the bird flu. I also wear two pairs of protective gloves and have wrapped my computer in plastic to avoid infection through the computer, in addition to the five anti-virus programs I am running.

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Originally posted by Nordlys
I already have all those products. In case one of my masks doesn't work properly, I always wear two of them. It makes breathing a bit difficult, but I'd rather suffocate than get the bird flu. I also wear two pairs of protective gloves and have wrapped my computer in plastic to avoid infection through the computer, in addition to the five anti-virus programs I am running.
I've sealed my ears, nostrils, tear ducts (and other more private openings) with candle wax. Anytime I open my mouth I gargle bleach just to be safe.

I'm with you on the multi-masks, I'm only running one AV though - is that not enough?

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Originally posted by rhb
I've sealed my ears, nostrils, tear ducts (and other more private openings) with candle wax. Anytime I open my mouth I gargle bleach just to be safe.

I'm with you on the multi-masks, I'm only running one AV though - is that not enough?
No wonder you are sneezing. Sheesh.

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