22 Feb '05 08:12>2 edits
Since there's a small group of zealots operating in the Debate Forum preaching the "love" that God exhibits in the Bible, I thought it might be instructive for people to post their most Sickening Bible Stories, those that make you "What the ..... was God thinking". Here's one that was discussed in another thread, but it's a gem: Judges 11:29-39
29Then the Spirit of the LORD was upon Jephthah, and he passed through Gilead and Manasseh and passed on to Mizpah of Gilead, and from Mizpah of Gilead he passed on to the Ammonites. 30And Jephthah made a vow to the LORD and said, "If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, 31then whatever[a] comes out from the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the Ammonites shall be the LORD's, and I will offer it[] up for a burnt offering." 32So Jephthah crossed over to the Ammonites to fight against them, and the LORD gave them into his hand. 33And he struck them from Aroer to the neighborhood of Minnith, twenty cities, and as far as Abel-keramim, with a great blow. So the Ammonites were subdued before the people of Israel.
34Then Jephthah came to his home at Mizpah. And behold, his daughter came out to meet him with tambourines and with dances. She was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter. 35And as soon as he saw her, he tore his clothes and said, "Alas, my daughter! You have brought me very low, and you have become the cause of great trouble to me. For I have opened my mouth to the LORD, and I cannot take back my vow." 36And she said to him, "My father, you have opened your mouth to the LORD; do to me according to what has gone out of your mouth, now that the LORD has avenged you on your enemies, on the Ammonites." 37So she said to her father, "Let this thing be done for me: leave me alone two months, that I may go up and down on the mountains and weep for my virginity, I and my companions." 38So he said, "Go." Then he sent her away for two months, and she departed, she and her companions, and wept for her virginity on the mountains. 39And at the end of two months, she returned to her father, who did with her according to his vow that he had made.
To sum up: Jephthah filled with the Spirit of the Lord that makes you want to go out immediately and destroy twenty cities of your neighbors, cuts a deal with God that if our merciful deity will allow him to kill as many Ammonites as possible, when he returns home he will sacrifice to God whatever first comes out of his house. He thinks it's going to be an animal of some sort, but - what a kneeslapper! - it's his only daughter overjoyed to see him! Imagine that scene in a sit com! But hey, a deal's a deal, no breaking of oaths to God and God ain't letting it slide, so after giving the daughter a couple of months to lament that she'll never have children, Dad makes good on the bargain. Daughter is made a "burnt offering" i.e. throat slit and then her body burned. That'll learn 'em not to make oaths, eh?
If anyone else has their own Sickening Bible Story, please post it for further amusement and instruction in the wacky ways of the Old Testament.
29Then the Spirit of the LORD was upon Jephthah, and he passed through Gilead and Manasseh and passed on to Mizpah of Gilead, and from Mizpah of Gilead he passed on to the Ammonites. 30And Jephthah made a vow to the LORD and said, "If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, 31then whatever[a] comes out from the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the Ammonites shall be the LORD's, and I will offer it[] up for a burnt offering." 32So Jephthah crossed over to the Ammonites to fight against them, and the LORD gave them into his hand. 33And he struck them from Aroer to the neighborhood of Minnith, twenty cities, and as far as Abel-keramim, with a great blow. So the Ammonites were subdued before the people of Israel.
34Then Jephthah came to his home at Mizpah. And behold, his daughter came out to meet him with tambourines and with dances. She was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter. 35And as soon as he saw her, he tore his clothes and said, "Alas, my daughter! You have brought me very low, and you have become the cause of great trouble to me. For I have opened my mouth to the LORD, and I cannot take back my vow." 36And she said to him, "My father, you have opened your mouth to the LORD; do to me according to what has gone out of your mouth, now that the LORD has avenged you on your enemies, on the Ammonites." 37So she said to her father, "Let this thing be done for me: leave me alone two months, that I may go up and down on the mountains and weep for my virginity, I and my companions." 38So he said, "Go." Then he sent her away for two months, and she departed, she and her companions, and wept for her virginity on the mountains. 39And at the end of two months, she returned to her father, who did with her according to his vow that he had made.
To sum up: Jephthah filled with the Spirit of the Lord that makes you want to go out immediately and destroy twenty cities of your neighbors, cuts a deal with God that if our merciful deity will allow him to kill as many Ammonites as possible, when he returns home he will sacrifice to God whatever first comes out of his house. He thinks it's going to be an animal of some sort, but - what a kneeslapper! - it's his only daughter overjoyed to see him! Imagine that scene in a sit com! But hey, a deal's a deal, no breaking of oaths to God and God ain't letting it slide, so after giving the daughter a couple of months to lament that she'll never have children, Dad makes good on the bargain. Daughter is made a "burnt offering" i.e. throat slit and then her body burned. That'll learn 'em not to make oaths, eh?
If anyone else has their own Sickening Bible Story, please post it for further amusement and instruction in the wacky ways of the Old Testament.