1. Joined
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    21 Nov '05 09:14
    This is an e-mail I just received 5 minutes ago. Its very nice...



    This ONE IS FABULOUS!!! It was written by 8 year old Danny Dutton of Chula Vista, CA, for his third grade homework assignment. The assignment was to explain God. I just wonder if any of us could do as well???


    EXPLANATION OF GOD
    "One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grownups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way He doesn't have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk He can just leave that to mothers and fathers."

    God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because He hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his ears, unless He has thought of a way to turn it off.

    "God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting His time by going over your Mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have."

    "Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in town. At least there aren't any who come to our church."

    "Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of Him preaching to them and they crucified Him. But he was good and kind, like His Father, and He told His Father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K."

    "His dad God appreciated everything that He had done and all His hard work on earth so He told him He didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So He did. And now He helps His Dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones He can take care of himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important."

    "You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time."

    "You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God. Don't skip church or do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong and besides the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway."

    "If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around you when you're scared, in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids"

    "But you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases. And that's why I believe in God"
  2. Joined
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    21 Nov '05 09:44
    Originally posted by Nicolaas
    This is an e-mail I just received 5 minutes ago. Its very nice...



    This ONE IS FABULOUS!!! It was written by 8 year old Danny Dutton of Chula Vista, CA, for his third grade homework assignment. The assignment was to explain God. I just wonder if any of us could do as well???


    EXPLANATION OF GOD
    "One of God's main jobs is making people. He ma ...[text shortened]... e God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases. And that's why I believe in God"
    Very good
  3. Felicific Forest
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    21 Nov '05 10:45
    Very moving.
  4. Standard memberwindmill
    your king.
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    21 Nov '05 11:08
    "You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time."
    If only one of them is on duty then how do you know if you are praying to the right one?Do people really pray for the wrong things or is this the reason why so many prayers go unanswered and proff why the Father is also the Son and the Son is the Father because we confuse them so much?🙂
  5. Cosmos
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    21 Nov '05 11:28
    Originally posted by Nicolaas
    This is an e-mail I just received 5 minutes ago. Its very nice...



    This ONE IS FABULOUS!!! It was written by 8 year old Danny Dutton of Chula Vista, CA, for his third grade homework assignment. The assignment was to explain God. I just wonder if any of us could do as well???


    EXPLANATION OF GOD
    "One of God's main jobs is making people. He ma ...[text shortened]... e God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases. And that's why I believe in God"
    this kid makes more sense than you ever have.

    (It's still utter nonsense though).
  6. Standard memberXanthosNZ
    Cancerous Bus Crash
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    21 Nov '05 11:29
    Originally posted by Nicolaas
    This is an e-mail I just received 5 minutes ago. Its very nice...



    This ONE IS FABULOUS!!! It was written by 8 year old Danny Dutton of Chula Vista, CA, for his third grade homework assignment. The assignment was to explain God. I just wonder if any of us could do as well???


    EXPLANATION OF GOD
    "One of God's main jobs is making people. He ma ...[text shortened]... e God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases. And that's why I believe in God"
    I'm guessing little Danny goes to a private school. I'm also guessing that Danny is basically just parroting what his parents and church tell him to believe. The perfect follower.
  7. Standard memberPalynka
    Upward Spiral
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    21 Nov '05 11:32
    Originally posted by XanthosNZ
    I'm guessing little Danny goes to a private school. I'm also guessing that Danny is basically just parroting what his parents and church tell him to believe. The perfect follower.
    It's just one of those e-mais that I delete after reading the first line. Danny may even be a figment of someone's imagination for all we know.

    It actually looks to me as an adult posing for a children.
  8. Joined
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    21 Nov '05 11:43
    Even though I'm a Christian myself, I seriously doubt that this was written by an 8 year old... this has been transmitted around the internet since at least 1993...

    My first thought was that it was a very long essay, and there's no way an 8 year old could have put sentences and paragraphs together the way this "kid" did....

    Obviously, any teacher/school district (especially in a state such as California) would have run into major lawsuits for even suggesting an assignment such as this one, unless of course it was a Christian School.

    I decided to google "Danny Dutton" and the first item that came up was from the Urban Legends reference page...here is the text of their response, which can be found at:

    http://www.snopes.com/glurge/dutton.htm


    They list Danny's essay, and the full text of their comments follows:

    Origins: We can't assign a precise date or origin to this essay (although we know it's been transmitted around the Internet since May 1993), nor can we swear that an eight-year-old named Danny Dutton Deity from Chula Vista didn't author this piece. We haven't yet been able to track down the enigmatic Mr. Dutton, however.

    Due to constitutional issues involving the separation of church and state, a public school teacher in the USA would not now be allowed to assign a third grade class a homework topic of "Explain God," and such an assignment would certainly generate a good deal of public complaint and controversy if a teacher went ahead with it anyway. Nonetheless, we haven't turned up any news stories about an assignment of this nature in the last twenty years or so. (It is possible that the Chula Vista school mentioned here was a private Christian school, where an assignment of "Explain God" would be both permissible and appropriate. In that case this piece would be far less remarkable, though, since it would be taking place in a religious context rather than a secular one, and the student would more likely be simply repeating what he had been taught rather than extemporizing on the nature of God.)

    In any case, the wording and structure of this essay tend to indicate a much older author. Much of the vocabulary employed is rather advanced for an 8-year-old, and the construction of the piece doesn't match the style of writing children have usually achieved at that age. Take a look at some examples of real third graders' essays found at the Outdoor Kids Foundation essay contest page: Notice how short and to the point the sentences are, and also how most sentences tend to contain only one concept. Now contrast this to "Danny's" essay, a missive which contains complex gems such as "And now He helps His Dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones He can take care of Himself without having to bother God."

    What to make of such a piece? It's best to view it as a "from the mouths of babes" composition penned by someone far older — someone who believed having his words seemingly issue from a third grader would lend them added poignancy.

    Barbara "danny buoyed" Mikkelson

    Last updated: 20 December 2001

    .


    Also, they provide a link to "Winning Third Grade Essays from the Outdoor Kids Foundation". Here is the full text of each winning essay (all written by 8-year-olds)...

    Here is the link:

    http://www.snopes2.com/glurge/info/essay.htm

    Here is the full text of all three essays:



    WINNERS

    Outdoor Kids Foundation - First Ever Essay Contest Winners

    3rd Grade

    Jayna Stone - Room 20

    Jayna writes: - "My Fishing Trip"
    One day I was packing fishing stuff. Because I was going fishing. When I was packing I couldn't wait to go. After I was done. We set off. It took a while to get there. But we got there. When we got there we had to pull out the boat. Then we got in and my Dad started it. When it started moving I saw lilly pads and turtles.

    Then my Dad stopped the boat. We got the worms on the hooks. Then we threw our fishing poles in the water. My sister caught the first fish. I was jealous.

    Then my Dad caught the second fish. After that I waited and waited. I finally caught one. I was so happy. Then I packed up my stuff. Went home, took a shower and lived happily ever after. THE END




    Joshua Bair

    Joshua writes - Once upon a time me and my dad drove to Maple Island to hunt. We had to walk for a long time until we got to the tree stand. I have never been to the buck stand before. My dad has been there before. Now we are hunting.

    We have been hunting for two hours and no deer yet. Then I heard something in the brush. The brush was about 100 yards away. Then the deer stepped out of the brush and walked this way. Now he is about 90 yards away. That is not bow range. So, we are going to have to wait. It is 6:00A.M. The deer is a 10 point. The deer is running this way. Now he is in bow range. My dad gets his deer call and calls the deer it is angle. My dad shoots and gets it! Now we are going to look for it because it ran. Do you know how to track a deer. You look for blood. We have been tracking for one hour, my dad sees the deer. We are going to drag it to the truck. It's been one hour and I see the truck and we run to the truck. Now we are there. Now we are going to go home. It's been 10 minutes now. So we are home and done with out work. THE END.




    Shawna Branch - Honorable Mention Essay

    "My Camping Trip"

    One fine weekend in the middle of August my family decides to go on a camping trip. Our destination - Rothberry. It just happened to be a very cold weekend. We were not at all prepared. We didn't bring enough blanket's or food. But I had my fishing pole. My dad complained and wanted to go home, but my mom was determined to make it a good camping trip. We went to a grocery store and bought worm's so I could go fishing. Mom said real campers went fishing for food. Well it didn't go well. I didn't catch one fish. Instead I caught a turtle. He was the size of a dime. We put him in a bucket and took him home. Mom had given-up on our camping trip. You see dad forgot the cooler which was supposed to be in the truck first. So we had nothing for dinner. We packed up and went home. The cooler was on the porch. We got the hot-dogs out, roasted marshmallow's over the grill at home and we haven't been camping since. THE END.




    Anyway, although it sounds good, I seriously doubt the veracity of that story. Whoever made it up obviously had never seen an 8 year old write before 🙂
  9. Standard memberDavid C
    Flamenco Sketches
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    21 Nov '05 14:12
    Looks like little Billy has managed to block out the incident with the priest and his rectory.
  10. London
    Joined
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    21 Nov '05 14:27
    Originally posted by David C
    Looks like little Billy has managed to block out the incident with the priest and his rectory.
    Maybe little David didn't.
  11. Standard memberDavid C
    Flamenco Sketches
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    21 Nov '05 14:32
    Originally posted by lucifershammer
    Maybe little David didn't.
    lol! No, Hammy, my parents had more sense than to send me in to the Lions' Den.
  12. Standard memberHalitose
    I stink, ergo I am
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    21 Nov '05 14:551 edit
    Originally posted by David C
    Looks like little Billy has managed to block out the incident with the priest and his rectory.
    The priest-chain has been yanked too many a time. Something more original perhaps?
  13. Standard memberBosse de Nage
    Zellulärer Automat
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    21 Nov '05 14:58
    Originally posted by Halitose
    The priest's chain has been yanked too many a time.
    I'll say.
  14. Standard memberHalitose
    I stink, ergo I am
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    21 Nov '05 15:02
    Originally posted by Bosse de Nage
    I'll say.
    Right. Gotta watch my punctuation, it could be misleading.
  15. Standard memberBosse de Nage
    Zellulärer Automat
    Spiel des Lebens
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    21 Nov '05 15:041 edit
    Originally posted by Halitose
    Right. Gotta watch my punctuation, it could be misleading.
    A star is born...And on your 100th rec too! Way to go Halitose 🙂
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