Bible Verses I love to hear.

Originally posted by AThousandYoung
Bosse...you're tunring me on. 😵

I read those verses as a child, and I've never forgotten them. Unfortunately Oholah and Oholibah (the prostitutes in question) were merely allegorical figures for Samaria and Jerusalem.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aholibah

i've always loved this example of God's love to a man having the audacity to try and stay warm
:
Numbers 15:32-36
While the people of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man gathering sticks on the Sabbath day. And those who found him gathering sticks brought him to Moses and Aaron and to all the congregation. They put him in custody, because it had not been made clear what should be done to him. And the Lord said to Moses, “The man shall be put to death; all the congregation shall stone him with stones outside the camp.” And all the congregation brought him outside the camp and stoned him to death with stones, as the Lord commanded Moses.

Nice work Oh Lord.

Judith.13

[1] Now when the evening was come, his servants made haste to depart, and Bagoas shut his tent without, and dismissed the waiters from the presence of his lord; and they went to their beds: for they were all weary, because the feast had been long.
[2] And Judith was left along in the tent, and Holofernes lying along upon his bed: for he was filled with wine.
[3] Now Judith had commanded her maid to stand without her bedchamber, and to wait for her. coming forth, as she did daily: for she said she would go forth to her prayers, and she spake to Bagoas according to the same purpose.
[4] So all went forth and none was left in the bedchamber, neither little nor great. Then Judith, standing by his bed, said in her heart, O Lord God of all power, look at this present upon the works of mine hands for the exaltation of Jerusalem.
[5] For now is the time to help thine inheritance, and to execute thine enterprizes to the destruction of the enemies which are risen against us.
[6] Then she came to the pillar of the bed, which was at Holofernes' head, and took down his fauchion from thence,
[7] And approached to his bed, and took hold of the hair of his head, and said, Strengthen me, O Lord God of Israel, this day.
[8] And she smote twice upon his neck with all her might, and she took away his head from him.
[9] And tumbled his body down from the bed, and pulled down the canopy from the pillars; and anon after she went forth, and gave Holofernes his head to her maid;
[10] And she put it in her bag of meat: so they twain went together according to their custom unto prayer: and when they passed the camp, they compassed the valley, and went up the mountain of Bethulia, and came to the gates thereof.

Originally posted by Bosse de Nage
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

(Ezekiel 23:20-21)

Question:

If those lovers, after which she lusted, had genitals like those of horses, and emissions like those of donkeys; or had genitals like those of horses, and emissions like those of horses; or had genitals like those of donkeys, and emissions like those of donkeys: would she have noticed the difference?

I am amazed that the biblical writer makes such subtle equine distinctions. Such are the mysteries of divinely inspired inerrancy.

Originally posted by PawnChop
i've always loved this example of God's love to a man having the audacity to try and stay warm
:
Numbers 15:32-36
While the people of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man gathering sticks on the Sabbath day. And those who found him gathering sticks brought him to Moses and Aaron and to all the congregation. They put him in custody, because it ...[text shortened]... e camp and stoned him to death with stones, as the Lord commanded Moses.

Nice work Oh Lord.

He should have known better than to spend his Sundays engaging in faggotry.

Faggot n. A bundle of twigs, sticks, or branches bound together.

Originally posted by scottishinnz
I like any verse where the Christians / jews of the OT, are murdering the ungodly! Or God smiting them, of course.

As for those pesky people who eat seafoods, well, they deserved everything they got!

I nearly forgot, the incest and rape (especially of under-age girls) ones figure highly on my list too!

I don't recall reading about rape and incest committed by the Jews in the Bible.

1Sa 18:7 And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.

So tell me, how is the history of the nation of Israel different from any other? Show me where and when war wasn't part of any particular nation's history. The history of this world is one of murder, rape, and horror.

So when you point your guilty little finger at the Bible and try to make it look as though God is less than Holy, remember your own guilt. Be sure of this, you will face Him one day.

Originally posted by josephw
So tell me, how is the history of the nation of Israel different from any other? Show me where and when war wasn't part of any particular nation's history. The history of this world is one of murder, rape, and horror.

So when you point your guilty little finger at the Bible and try to make it look as though God is less than Holy, remember your own guilt. Be sure of this, you will face Him one day.

So because everyone else is guilty that gets God off the hook? What sort of ridiculous logic is that?

The issue is I think that:
1. Gods chosen people frequently commited attrocities apparently as commanded by God.
2. There are laws in the Bible (The Word of God as some people claim) which condone rape.
3. Neither Jesus nor most Christians seem willing to admit that those laws were not just.

Originally posted by Pawnokeyhole
Question:

If those lovers, after which she lusted, had genitals like those of horses, and emissions like those of donkeys; or had genitals like those of horses, and emissions like those of horses; or had genitals like those of donkeys, and emissions like those of donkeys: would she have noticed the difference?

I am amazed that the biblical writer makes such subtle equine distinctions. Such are the mysteries of divinely inspired inerrancy.

You spoilt your delightfully Beckettian comment (like something out of Watt) with the facetious dross at the end. Ezekiel was a consummate prophet; how dare you besmirch his masterpiece with your inanity! (There's a donkey joke in there.)

Gizza quote or feck off.

2 Maccabees 7.

1. [1] It came to pass also, that seven brethren with their mother were taken, and compelled by the king against the law to taste swine's flesh, and were tormented with scourges and whips.

2Kings.9

1. [32] And he lifted up his face to the window, and said, Who is on my side? who? And there looked out to him two or three eunuchs.

Originally posted by twhitehead
So because everyone else is guilty that gets God off the hook? What sort of ridiculous logic is that?

The issue is I think that:
1. Gods chosen people frequently commited attrocities apparently as commanded by God.
2. There are laws in the Bible (The Word of God as some people claim) which condone rape.
3. Neither Jesus nor most Christians seem willing to admit that those laws were not just.

God isn't on the hook. You and I are.

When you even suggest that God is in support of the atrocities you list you reveal the shallowness of your understanding. I'm not saying you are shallow. But your thinking is.

Do you think God, any God, that posses that characteristics ascribed to God, would condone evil?

You must begin to understand the God of the Bible with this fundamental truth, God is Holy. The moment you accuse God of a crime you have swerved off the path of reason and logic.

Originally posted by josephw
The moment you accuse God of a crime you have swerved off the path of reason and logic.

And you accuse me of shallow thinking? 🙄

Reread the posts and think about it for a bit.

Originally posted by Bosse de Nage
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

(Ezekiel 23:20-21)

I thought I knew all the bizarre ones, but somehow that escaped me. Thanks for pointing it out. I had thought the strangest verse was the one where an angel was going to kill Moses, even as he was on his way to do God's will and free the Israelites from Egypt, only to have his wife slice off their son's foreskin and fling it, proclaiming something about her "bloody husband." These from Ezekiel move to the top of the list.

Ezekiel 23:46-49
(46) For thus saith the Lord GOD; I will bring up a company upon them, and will give them to be removed and spoiled.
(47) And the company shall stone them with stones, and dispatch them with their swords; they shall slay their sons and their daughters, and burn up their houses with fire.
(48) Thus will I cause lewdness to cease out of the land, that all women may be taught not to do after your lewdness.
(49) And they shall recompense your lewdness upon you, and ye shall bear the sins of your idols: and ye shall know that I am the Lord GOD.

They got what they deserved. I am glad I wasn't a member of Israel back then.

Originally posted by josephw
I don't recall reading about rape and incest committed by the Jews in the Bible.

What ethnicity were Lot and his daughters? Why are there laws about what fine to pay if you rape someone in Genesis? What about 2 Samuel 13:14?