Originally posted by KellyJay
If the Lord Jesus were to pick His top 10 topics He would like us to discuss
and get right what do you think they would be?
10) Why are all the pictures of me white?!
9) What's with all the brown guys who take my name but pronounce it wrong?
8) Why do so many of my followers wear Crucifixes?! I've been in therapy for thousands of years trying to forget that particular chapter of life.
7) Couldn't you have made at least
some of the statues and statuettes of me a
little bit chunky? Buddha's always laughing his arse off at my small portions at the buffet.
6) Why is it that your society considers masochists to be freaks, yet has me crying, wearing a crown of thorns, rolling my eyes, slumping in pain, etc. in so many of the images of me?!
5) If, after my 'death', I could appear to anyone in the world, do you think I'd re-appear to the same ol' group of 12 sweaty men that I'd been hanging with for the last 10 years, or would I appear at Bar Rafaeli's bedside?!
4) Do you think the the Jon Snow character in
Game of Thrones is based on me?
3) What would you say if I told you that God made a smart arsed remark after I asked him why he'd forsaken me? No, seriously. He was all like, "remember that plan we've talked about for the last 1000 years, genius!"
2) Who's hotter: Selena Gomez, or Mary Magdalene?
1) Everyone's so sure that I'm coming back again some day. Lemme ask you this. What possible reason could I have to want to come back to that shyte pile you call a planet?! Especially after the way you treated me
last time???