My Bible so big and heavy

Originally posted by kirksey957
It doubles as the tablets of stone in the Exodus play.

My bible so big, if you tried to reach god through it you'd need a tank.

My bible so big and heavy, Noah could make a second ark from it.

My bible so big and heavy, the profits are still busy writin' it.

Originally posted by kirksey957
It doubles as the tablets of stone in the Exodus play.

My Bible so big that God created it as half of an experiment about immovable objects and irresistible forces. The other half of the experiment was Chuck Norris. It turns out "irresistible force" is a contradiction in terms.

My bible's so big and heavy all the women are really impressed when they touch it.

My Bible so Big they had to make stuff up just to fill up the pages.

My Bible so big that just to print from nuke boobs to senior folk above took Gutenberg all his ingenuity and half of the Black Forest.

And they say the Bible codes aren't real!

My Bible so big that Benny Hinn, Paula White, Creflo Dollar, Joyce Meyer, and Kenneth and Gloria Copeland will all be able to swear an oath upon it at the same time when they are called to testify before Congress.

my bible so big, there are more lines than the sicilian defense

My Bible so big it will accomadate my fat ass while I sit on it and accept it as the inerrant word of God without ever openin it.

My Bible's so fat it's all Greek and Hebrew with English subtitles.

Originally posted by kirksey957
My Bible so big, Revelation was replaced by the "Left Behind " series.

My Bible so big that shipping and handling was so much I couldn't tithe.