@Philokalia
Doctrinally, I believe the Holy Spirit is received upon Baptism, and that it is the case that it leaves us when we are unrepentant in our sin. But I am not positive if this is the proper, dogmatic understanding of the Holy Spirit, though it makes sense that being unrepentant would bar us from having the Holy Spirit.
And how can we repent without humility?
It is hard unless you are convicted.
I think God being light is merciful not to expose all in one instant the total degree of our wickedness.
"God is light and in Him is no darkness at all." (1 John 1:5)
I think He convicts a sometimes a little at a time. He waits to see what we will do with this amount of light given us. If we respond with a change in our thinking, more light will be given.
For Him to throw the whole 10,000,000 watts of illumination upon us at one time would be terrible.
We are all on a rendezvous with Light. It is good to humble ourselves with repentance with the conviction God allows each of us now.
The issues of the Holy Spirit we may talk about a bit latter. I am thinking on how I would like to respond.