Best Homer Simpson lines

"I hear they have the internet on computers now"

"Lisa, just take all your rage and squeeze it into a tight bitter ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like that time daddy hit the referee with the whiskey botltle!"

Originally posted by uzless
"Lisa, just take all your rage and squeeze it into a tight bitter ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like that time daddy hit the referee with the whiskey botltle!"

Originally posted by uzless
"I hear they have the internet on computers now"

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

cheesy gameshow guy: contragulations homer simpson you've just won the employee raffle!
Homer: woo-hoo! What do I win?
cheesy gameshow guy: The job of industrial chimney sweep for a day
Homer🙁Brief pause) Woo-Hoo!

mmmmmmm Donuts!

or...

Why do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me.

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs

What is the mind, no matter, what is matter, never mind.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

"Six simple words: I'm not gay but I'll learn."

A ralphism...


Ralph (To a wolf): Will you be my mommy? You smell like dead bunnies...

Mmmmm, laarrd

Check and Mate!!! ... now king me!!

quite apt for this site really