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Dealing with liars

Dealing with liars

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Originally posted by Wajoma
So if there has been a murder and there is no way to determine the murderer then you would say a murder has not been commited?

If you visit the Spirituality board you will find a whole bunch of people on either side of the argument that say they can determine there is/isn't a god. Does this mean that if something can be disputed (you can find an organisa ...[text shortened]... is not grey is that god can exist and be non-existent at the same time, that is black and white.
Yes also in this case there is no truth because it could have been suicide, an accident or murder. The only truth you have is that a man/woman is most likely dead.

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Originally posted by LordOfTheChessboard
Yes also in this case there is no truth because it could have been suicide, an accident or murder. The only truth you have is that a man/woman is most likely dead.
oh dear....you want the details: The person is tied in a chair with a gunshot wound to the head, the room is locked from the outside and there is no gun in the room....sigh.

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Originally posted by arrakis

Don't believe everything people tell you. There's an old saying, "Actions speak louder than words." And there's a reason for this saying. It actually works. WATCH the person's ACTIONS! See what he/she does. Make all your judgments based on relative evidence of the person's actions - not on what they may say to you.
I agree with you completly!
Maybe this is not much help now but it will be of much help later on.

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Originally posted by Wajoma
oh dear....you want the details: The person is tied in a chair with a gunshot wound to the head, the room is locked from the outside and there is no gun in the room....sigh.
Not the best example. Anyway when you see someone get shot in the head you know that he's been murdered. Yes.

If you see your last example as absolute proof that the person has been murdered maybe you can understand why a lot of inncocent people get locked up or executed for crimes they did not commit.
A lot of detective work is based on prejudice.

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If I cut down a tree in the forest and no ones sees me was there ever a tree?

If not then what the hell is on my fire?

1 edit
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Originally posted by XanthosNZ
If I cut down a tree in the forest and no ones sees me was there ever a tree?

If not then what the hell is on my fire?
Myabe one you did not cut down yourself?

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Originally posted by Mr Nice Guy

Edit: I watched some story on Oprah one day where she talked about a lady who rang up the local radio station with tales about her partner in the army who went to war or something - and she was pregnant with his kid. It was all made up, but the listeners were hooked and the crew on the radio program became emotionally attached and let her keep ringing in with the latest news. Eventually she couldn't handle it all. Does anyone else remember that?[/b]
Yes, actually. Apparently, she initially just intended to call the radio station once to get some attention, but the station ended up wanting to stay involved with her more closely than she'd planned.

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Originally posted by LordOfTheChessboard
I know what you mean but dont you think that if there is a truth you should be able to determine it?
Im saying there is no truth if there is no way to determine it.
Yes and no. There is a truth to what the temperature is at the bottom of the deepest trench, to what minerals are buried on Pluto, to whether AIDS can be cured and if so using what formula....... but whether humans actually know these answers will depend on our level of knowledge and technology. Likewise, the existence of Gods or other supernatural entities is not something that we can yet measure. On the other hand, if you mean that any truth should be able to be determined under hypothetical conditions of omniscience, then I'd be inclined to agree.

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Originally posted by shavixmir
The existence of God.
The proposition that God exists isn't true for some people and false for others. Rather, different people have different beliefs about whether God exists, but some of these beliefs are false. We should have equal tolerance for all religious beliefs when applied to a person's own life (rather than forced on others, or used to justify harming others); but that doesn't mean that all religious beliefs are equally likely to be accurate.

Likewise, different cultures have different beliefs about whether certain practices are right or wrong, but that doesn't mean that there can't be an objective ethical truth in some matters. Cultures can be wrong, as can individuals.

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Originally posted by mokko
Thanks guys. I am trying to remain very calm throughout this situation and I do hope he eventually hangs himself with his lies. I'm far from perfect but I'm honest. What really drives me wild is how I have been the only one who has wanted this child. I spent 9 months of my pregnancy in tears as I listened to him say he hopes I lose the baby and that it's no ...[text shortened]... took abuse and fought to have him be apart of her life. The lies are beyond hurtfull.




I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. I agree that in general it's good for both parents to be involved in their children's lives, although in this situation I'd be nervous about the impact that such a dangerous person as your ex could have on your daughter. The degree to which you're comfortable with him having access must be a tough decision. She may benefit from having more healthy male role models in her life, in any case.

As I understand it, your computer can be used as evidence. You can't prove a negative (you could have deleted the relevant material, although with data recovery programs it could be shown that this is unlikely given that you still have other materials on your computer) -- so if your ex is specifically alleging that you did this using your home computer then this might help somewhat. However, regardless of that, it's up to him to provide evidence and he won't be able to (however much he might try to fake evidence using lies).

You probably have a good chance to take action against him for libel, slander or/and defamation. He's falsely accused you of a crime, so libel may be the most applicable. In a civil court, the standard of proof is the balance of probabilities (i.e. more likely than not is sufficient), as opposed to beyond reasonable doubt in a criminal court. If you could prove beyond reasonable doubt that he lied in court, he could be convicted of perjury, but I imagine that taking action regarding libel in a civil court is the most promising way to proceed. (But of course, your lawyer will know best.)

You sound like a decent and sincere person, and you obviously care a great deal about your daughter and her wellbeing. I'm so sorry that this awful situation has happened to you.

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Originally posted by mokko
How the heck does anyone function in this world when dealing with chronic liars. Not only chronic liars in the harmless sort of white lie type either. I mean viscous, life altering absolutely outragous lies! I'm at my wits end in dealing with someone elses out right lies. The worst part is I have no choice but to listen to these evil words of twisted dementia ...[text shortened]... prevail or do liars actually get anywhere in life with their complete and total BS all the time?
Apparently, lying about whether an oil-rich country full of non-caucasians has WMD can help get you re-elected, whereas lying about whether you had consensual sex (a personal matter that's none of the public's business) can get you in a lot of trouble.

But in general lying doesn't pay. (Particularly not the malicious sort, because at least one person will know it's false and have reason to want to expose the lying.)

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Originally posted by karnachz
I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. I agree that in general it's good for both parents to be involved in their children's lives, although in this situation I'd be nervous about the impact that such a dangerous person as your ex could have on your daughter. The degree to which you're comfortable with him having access must be a tough decision. She ...[text shortened]... ut your daughter and her wellbeing. I'm so sorry that this awful situation has happened to you.
I figure I have several courses of action open to me at this point. I could stoop as low his he has and use every little piece of information I have against him and even make stuff up as well (which won't hold water in the end) or I can simply rely on the facts and evidence to speak for me, or I can discover the power of the truth first hand.

I need to have my statement written up by Wed. and I have been losing sleep on how to approach this matter. But I think in the end the truth is the only option I have. Despite everything this man has done I have loved him greatly. My actions have been done out of love for both him and my child. I only hope to get him the help I could not provide. This will onnly serve to benifit both of them in there relationship long term.

Lat night I had a terrible bout of the stomach flu. I was home alone and got extremely sick. As I struggled upstairs with a fever and throwing up my daughter was left crying all on her own. The fact that calling her father to come and take care of her when I could not was a horrible example of who really suffers in the end.

While his words and accusations hurt me personally a great deal I need to keep in mind the ultimate goal. The fact that he could make up such things is only further proof that I am doing the right thing and that I will be able to succeed in getting him some sort of help.

This will only be accomplished through patients and understanding. Not through anger and emotional reaction. The most ironic part of this whole situation is that this is the same person who refused to go to counciling on the basis that we we're two grown adults and if we couldn't work things out between ourselves then there was no point. It makes me laugh now in a sad funny sort of way.

I have come to learn a great deal about life, reality and raw human emotion throughout this ordeal. I can see how parents often resort to hurtfull tactics for their own selfish endeavours, a last resort to inflict the greatest amount of pain upon the other person who has caused a great deal of their own hurt. I will not allow myself to let my emotions take priorety to my parenting.

I have a whole different view of child custody battles after my experience with this. My heart breaks for the the children involved and who are essentailly held captive as pawns to emotional warfare. Lying, attacking and false accusations are never in any childs best interests.

Mutual respect and the holding on to whatever love was present in the creation of these children is the only thing that will benifit any child long term to become themselves loving and respectfull human beings. Weather God exists or not I will be praying to whoever is listening for love and truth to overpower hatefullness and lies.

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Originally posted by shavixmir
Uhhh...no.

Say I'm colour blind and you aren't.

When you look at one of those numbered cards with all the horrible little dots, then you'll see the number 8. You say: "I see number 8."
I, in this example, would not see the number 8. I say: "I don't see anything."

Both are truths.
Which just goes to show that everything is based on perception...
And that perception is relative to each individual!

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Originally posted by shavixmir
"I don't see anything.".
I see dead people.

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Originally posted by mokko
I see dead people.
Me too.

Cor blimey!

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