Originally posted by tomtom232Insightful applied behavorial psychology. Should be helpful to him.
Yes one mistake would not be a bad thing...but I don't believe that having an affair is a "mistake". See..there are internal walls that people have to break down before they do something like this.
MOTIVATION-
There has to be a reason why. She could just think the guy she is having a fling with is hot(most spouses never even have the idea of an affair ...[text shortened]... hat to happen there has to be blockage(ie something wasn't healthy in the relationship)
Color me impressed.
Originally posted by deathbypawnIf you suspect she's been having an affair that long and you haven't asked her directly, I'd say you have a lot of problems. If you can't ask, can you write her a letter? And if you found out by spying on her that she was, what would you do then?
I have suspected it for quite sometime. I have seen signs, but I do not snoop into her e-mail or follow her or anything but I suspect that my wife may be having an affair. Are there any signs that deffinatly point yes other than profane ones. I am kind of scared to just ask her.
DBP
Originally posted by SunburntAnd this helps how? I am pretty sure that he already knows this.
If you suspect she's been having an affair that long and you haven't asked her directly, I'd say you have a lot of problems. If you can't ask, can you write her a letter? And if you found out by spying on her that she was, what would you do then?
Originally posted by tomtom232If you are married (which, I believe you are), you know that marriage is complicated. There's no simple answer for the kinds of problems you have when one spouse has an affair. He might forgive her anyway. He might stay, given that he's stayed this long. Perhaps I should have said, "When you get confirmation, is the marriage going to be over? Is there hope from this that you can rebuild?"
And this helps how? I am pretty sure that he already knows this.
I don't think a barrage of words is helpful either.
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Originally posted by deathbypawnWhy do you suspect her?
I have suspected it for quite sometime. I have seen signs, but I do not snoop into her e-mail or follow her or anything but I suspect that my wife may be having an affair. Are there any signs that deffinatly point yes other than profane ones. I am kind of scared to just ask her.
DBP
The simple question "do you love me" will give a lot away in reply. 😉
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Originally posted by MarinkatombShe could always reply with "what do you think?"
Why do you suspect her?
The simple question "do you love me" will give a lot away in reply. 😉
He should persistently ask her if anything is wrong..then when he finally gets an answer he will have a good idea of what she thinks is wrong with the relationship. Once he knows that he will know if she has motivation...couple that with his suspicions and he will pretty much know if she has or not(ie if she has motivation then there is a good chance she is cheating if she doesn't there is 0 chance she is cheating.
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Originally posted by shavixmirOne problem with asking her is that if you're wrong, you're never gonna hear the end of it. Even if you're right, she'll manage to make it your fault, like 'If you were man enough to satisfy me, i wouldn't have to look elsewhere'. Another, of course, is that she might simply lie to you, and then you're no better off than now - you're still wondering.
Absolutely.
BUT... BUT.... BBBBB UUUUU TTTTT...
It can all mean something else as well, so don't jump to conclusions.
There are a thousand reasons for people's body language. Just because she has her arms folded and doesn't look you in the eye doesn't mean that she's been cheating. It could mean she's had a negative scan or that her mum's ill or that s e. Various scientists of very unreliable sources have pinned that date on 2012.
Get the PI - it's real-life stuff, happens all the time, most are ex-cops. then you've got the evidence if she's guilty, and if she's not, she need never know you suspected her.
Originally posted by Iron MonkeyShe can try to make his fault all she wants. They will both know who's fault it really is and she will be the one to live with a guilty conscience(if she still has one) for the rest of her life or until she gets dementia and forgets all about it. If a woman tried to make it my fault and I was the one providing everything for her...I would tell her, "If you can't get everything you need from me then you don't get anything at all...go get it from that other guy" and then I would file for a divorce.
One problem with asking her is that if you're wrong, you're never gonna hear the end of it. Even if you're right, she'll manage to make it your fault, like 'If you were man enough to satisfy me, i wouldn't have to look elsewhere'. Another, of course, is that she might simply lie to you, and then you're no better off than now - you're still wondering.
...[text shortened]... evidence if she's guilty, and if she's not, she need never know you suspected her.
Originally posted by tomtom232Tom, appreciate your psychological tack... the guilt ridden
She can try to make his fault all she wants. They will both know who's fault it really is and she will be the one to live with a guilty conscience(if she still has one) for the rest of her life or until she gets dementia and forgets all about it. If a woman tried to make it my fault and I was the one providing everything for her...I would tell her, "If you ...[text shortened]... t get anything at all...go get it from that other guy" and then I would file for a divorce.
usually suffer emotional revolt, then blackout of the soul.
I developed this well thought out plan and placed into action, yesterday after work I went to my brother's house and barrowed an old pair of socks. Then I went home to put my plan into action. I went into the laundry room and took clothes out of the dryer and mixed in my brothers socks and carried the pile to the couch where I began to fold them, when I got to the pair of socks I asked who socks are these they don't belong to me or the kids and I put them aside in the misc pile, she picked them up and examined them and said oh these must be my dads he was over yesterday visiting with the kids. I said ok and left it at that. Now I am not sure exactly where that leaves me, but I have taken the day off to get my act together.
DBP