Originally posted by greenpawn34Similar joke but you have to know something about American football:
Well did you hear about the gay chess player who was once mated
up the back rank?
What happened to the football player who went to a gay bar?
When he arrived, he was a tight end. When he left, he was a wide receiver!
Originally posted by sonhouseSimilar joke:
If your friend Jack helped you off a horse, would you help Jack off a horse?
Joe the sales manager has been told to cut expenses because sales are off. He calls in his two weakest sales reps, Suzy and Jack. He sits them down, looks at Suzy and says, "Ok, it's like this, Suzy. I have to lay you or Jack off."
A man walks into the local pub and sees his friend the farmer sitting at the table, head in his hands, drunk as he has ever seen him.
Shocked, he asks him what his problem is.
The farmer looks up and shakes his head... some things you just can't explain he mutters.
I was milking the cow this morning and just as I got started the stupid thing kicks over the pail and spills the milk. "I'll fix you" I says to myself and tied her foot to the post of the stall, and started again.
No sooner did I get started again when she kicks the pail over with her other foot. So I got my last piece of chain and tied her other foot to the other side of the stall.
Then as I start to milk her again, that stupid cow smacks the bucket with her tail and knocks it flying.
I was so mad!! I looked around but could find no more string or rope, so I got on the milking stool, whipped off my belt and tied her tail to the beam over the stall. Just as my pants fell down to my knees, my wife walks in to call me for breakfast!!!.
That's why I'm here.
A young lad hears about all the action to be had on the beaches of Australia, so on spring break he packs his bags and takes to the skies.
After wandering the beaches for several days with no luck he asks one of the local lads how to improve his odds. The Aussie lad tells him to take a walk on the beach with his speedo and to improve his chances, to slip a small cucumber in his shorts to tempt the young sheilas.
Great idea he says and off he goes again.
A short while later he comes back to the Australian young man and complains that every one is looking at him and laughing at him or else turning away in disgust. What's wrong???
The Australian fellow looks at him and says through the tears of his laughter.... No no mate, you put it in the front!!!
